I keep thinking about what Ford said about having a twin being “suffocating”
One of the reasons I watch Gravity Falls is because I have a twin of my own, so I relate to the Pines on a level I’ve never related to any character before. Unfortunately, it makes it all the more painful when bad things happen between them. Because I understand. Even if I don’t want to.
It’s horrible to imagine thinking of my twin that way, but when I think about it, there’s an element of truth. Sometimes having a twin is suffocating. I keep thinking about how Stan and Ford are implied to be identical, or at least very, very similar in appearance, and how the last period of their lives they spent together was their teenage years.
Now, I can’t speak for all twins, but I can’t help but feel that in some ways being an identical twin is a bit trickier than being a fraternal one, especially with boy/girl pairs. Twins are thought of as pairs, two of a kind, part of a set. In the minds of those around us, we are often not individuals, and it’s only reinforced when we happen to look the same. Boy/girl fraternal pairs tend to escape the more aggressive sorts of attention because our society is so set on gender binaries that they’re thought of as fundamentally different from the moment they’re born (and boy isn’t THAT a whole other set of issues!)
Identical twins, though? I can personally attest to a lifetime of being stared at, of being poked and prodded and questioned by people who see you as more of a curiosity than as a person, of being given the exact same gifts because no one bothers to find out your separate interests, of being left nameless because people would rather call you “Twin” or “Clone” or even “Thing”(1 or 2) to your face than admit they don’t know which one you are. Sometimes, it feels like your accomplishments can never truly be just your own, like no matter what you do, you can’t escape being one of two rather than just you, and it can get very, very old.
My sister is my best friend in the entire world. We grew up in a very healthy environment and we’re fortunate that our parents went out of their way to make sure we were raised as separate, equal individuals. Yet even then, late high school was easily the most strained period of our relationship so far. There were a lot of identity and individuality issues that cropped up in those years, among other things, and we snapped at each other a lot.
I can’t help but think of Stan and Ford going through all that, only in a worst case scenario. They didn’t have the healthy environment that I did. They had a dad who played favorites, one brother who felt he was worthless on his own, and another who felt he had to be the best at everything just to overcome being a “freak” times two (because, even if it’s more benign than having extra appendages, being an identical twin has a freak element all its own).
No wonder Ford would feel suffocated. I’ve felt suffocated and my life’s been the bee’s knees in comparison! The main difference is that suffocation for me is fleeting. My individuality’s been reinforced without my ever needing to prove myself like that. I’ve been able to experience separation and individuality through college life while still remaining in contact with my twin. Our strained high school years are behind us and have been replaced with more positive experiences.
But Ford? The last he remembers of his existence as a twin is probably a period of struggle against identitylessness, combined strangely with being singled out only for being a nerd and a freak by his peers, and the better brother by his father. What Ford remembers of being a twin is one of the most suffocating experiences a twin can have, and he’s going to need a big wake up call to realize that this is not the norm, that his experience does not apply to Dipper and Mabel, and that his solution to it is neither needed nor desirable.
I understand. It hurt. And it hurts that I understand. Ford suffocated in a relationship that should never have been that way. Which is why he so desperately needs to hug it out with Stan. Because he needs to learn that you can be a twin and still be able to breathe.
