Peachy Keen Jelly Bean

“Motherfuckers will read a book that is 1/3 elvish, but put two sentences in Spanish and they think we’re taking over.” Junot Diaz to the interview questions, “Do you think using Spanish in your writing alienates some of your readers?”

an article about this from the smithsonian magazing

Just call me a petticoat swashbuckler

Paul Delvaux, The winter. Skeleton in a greenhouse, 1952. China ink pen and watercolour on paper, 48.5 x 65 cm. Royaux Musées des Beaux-Arts de Belgique, Brussels.

kill the imposter

Cover of Lips of an Angel by Hinder, featuring myself on bass and singing

excuse the quality and I have a cold so yeah

for wheneveryouarecrying

@voidfishling I am SCREAMING it's bb me and one of the fewww recordings I have left of me actually playing bass

People need to realize that there’s a difference between straight people and Straight People™

Straight person: Hey, you got a new haircut. Looks really good.

Straight Person™: No homo, but your haircut looks good on you.

In case you were confused 👌

Just like how there are white people who are gay and then there are the White Gays

White people who are gay: “I’m gay.”

White Gays: “I can’t believe I got accused of racism after calling that person a racial slur! I mean, I know what racism looks like because I’ve been discriminated for my sexuality. How is me being racist even possible? I’M GAY!”

Lmao all the angry White and Straight people in the comments, keep reblogging

neurotypical: i don’t have any mental illnesses or disorders Neurotypical™: Happiness is a choice!! ✨✨Have you tried yoga? Drink more water and eat kale ✨✨

cis person: i identify completely as my assigned gender Cis Person™: It doesn’t matter what you identify as, cause you still have Female Genitals! I’m not being offensive!! Read a book on Human Biology! 🚹🚺

men: I identify as male.

Men™: feminazis ruin everything, get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich bitch

atheists: I don’t believe in god or identify with a religion

Atheists™: Don’t fucking talk to me if you believe in God. Open your closed-fucking-minds!! (usually targeted towards Christians)

nice guys: hey I know when not to invade someone’s space and I totally respect boundaries

Nice Guys™: IVE BEEN YOUR FRIEND FOR A MONTH AND NOW YOURE TELLING ME YOU DONT WANT TO FUCK ME ???? WHAT IS THE POINT OF WOMEN IF YOURE NOT HAVING SEX WITH ME?

this post got all kinds of better since I last saw it

This post is perfection across the board.

feminist: I believe in equality for everything between the sexes

Feminist™: ALL MEN ARE ASSHOLES AND SHOULD DIE! WE DONT NEED ANY OF THEM ANYWAYS AND THEY NEVER DO ANYTHING GOOD FOR US!!

Christian: I believe in God and his son Jesus

Christian™: We must Obey Bible In Everything and Take It Literally and if you don’t do it you’re Going To Hell! I’m praying for you to find God and have your sins Forgiven! Other religions are from Satan and So Is Atheism!

White women: Hello and Good morning I dye my hair blonde go to Whole Foods and have coffee at local cafes.

White Women™: What do you mean I can’t have corned-rows in my hair, Tisha?? It’s just a hairstyle my black boyfriend friend loves it I’m on fleek lmao YEET watch me twerk lol the minimum wage shouldn’t go up people just need to learn a real skill for a real job Black Lives Matter is so exclusive and racist maybe they should just obey cops uwu Zendaya and Beyoncé as feminists is a joke but looooove Emma Whole Wheat and Jennifer Linebacker they’re the ONLY good feminists I look up to Muslim women must be freed from their hijabs Who cares about Flint when animal cruelty is rampant this is why I’m vegan Lmao COACHELLA look how tan I am I’m almost as dark as you!!

Parks & Rec, Pretty Little Liars and the Fast & Furious films all exist in the same universe

And SCANDAL WTF

Oh jeez, SCANDAL….

….and BATTLESHIP too, apparently. It’s a goddamn conspiracy 

Oh god. He’s on REVENGE too. How deep does this rabbit-hole go….

Oh my god. DEXTER.

THE ACTUAL NEWS

I read an interview with this guy (who is a real news anchor), and he said he told his acting agent that he is ONLY interested in parts where he plays a new anchor. This is no coincidence. This is by design. 

what is his plan

living the dream

Lmaooo

- Here’s the promo video, btw:

- Blink-182 dropped out the first day of the festival bc they saw how much of a mess it was

- Some more gems:

(video link)

I literally can’t stop laughing at this mess. You can google ‘Fyre Festival’ to see what else is up–this whole this is so hilarious and such a rich-kid flop. 

favourite Extra™ things darth vader has done, ranked

- killed a guy, then gave his job to the guy right next to him

- did a triple front-flip over a stream of lava, only to get most of his limbs cut off

- took on an entire army of rebels by himself, and when told he was surrounded, said “all i’m surrounded by is fear and dead men”. talk about edgy

- announced he was luke’s father, barely seconds after amputating his hand, then was disappointed that luke wanted nothing to do with him

- every entrance he makes he always has to be in a dark corner or surrounded by fog with his cape billowing perfectly behind him. how Does he do it

- made a terrible pun about choking, while choking a guy

-flown a tie fighter with the force just so he could stand atop it and look dramatic

what a guy

YUP. my favorite moment.

vader is still anakin

- built his evil lava castle on the exact spot Obi-Wan cut off all his limbs, probably mumbles ‘who has the high ground now, bitch’ while staring out it’s windows

Haven’t you seen the way this guy stands? It’s incredible.

BIG SITH 4U

HE EVEN PAINTS HIS R2 DROIDS GLOSS BLACK SO YOU’LL KNOW THEY’RE EVIL

The way his hands and wrists are it kinda looks like he’s riding a horse…

And let’s not forget sat in that dining room in Cloud City waiting for who knows how long for Han and Leia to show up and then RESPECTFULLY STANDS UP when they enter.

Source: http://www.psychmechanics.com/2015/05/body-language-crotch-displays-of-men.html

This is veering quickly into questionable fanfic territory, and I am reblogging it for this very reason.

well um I’m here for extra Anakin