Seasons.

October - February: self-doubt, self-hatred, anxiety, try not to be a cold bitch/generally shitty person to everyone i care about, agony, insomnia, nightmares // March - May: frenzy, exhaustion, dissociate and forget things, stress, oppressive dread, neglect responsibilities, isolate and seclude // June - September: blinding white, try to find a fuck to give, stop wishing the torrential downpours would drown me, lie in bed until the urge passes, stay out until i can’t, self-destruction

me: *uses caffeine as an antidepressant*

still relevant, except that now if i have too much, i also get anxiety.

me, in 90+ degree weather: please, let me rest my brain: [banging pots and pans together] NO BLANKET NO SLEEP

it won’t be like what you imagined. maybe you get the road trip to the beach with coffee in your hand and the radio playing, maybe you don’t. but happy shows up. it’s in a 2 AM game of jenga with your new college friends. it’s curling up for another marathon of netflix. it’s meeting the person who will be your best man at the wedding. it’s 4:45pm in the library when the girl in the study coral across from you quietly whispers “i’m going to set everything on fire” and then turns to you and asks if you wanna take a break for dinner (say yes, she’s very nice and you both need a moment away from the stress). it’s the mornings they have omelettes and in good books and in a puddle that looks cool. it’s sometimes picturesque, but more often it’s full-belly laughter at stupid things on the floor of your friend’s house while in the background someone is debating the best way to win settlers of catan. 

i know it gets dark early now and the tired is setting in and everything sort of feels blank and hazy and you want to spend ages staring at walls thinking of nothing

but happiness will find a way in. it will be small moments. look for them.

@resilientrunner

I’ve been so FRUSTRATED today for some reason I can just feel my anger tingling at the tips of my fingers

me: goodnight moon :)

moon: should’ve been saying goodnight 5 hours ago its 4am asshole get your life together

I’m the girl crying

I’m Chloe

Amiko Li

Kate DiCamillo at @commongoodbooks, 4/30/16

The four major types of ramen