I need any and all good vibes thrown my way. Please…

ellimonster reblogged

theartofaltruism-deactivated202

metamorphesque

Letter from Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, The Hague, 21 July 1882

[text ID: Though I am often in the depths of misery, there is still calmness, pure harmony and music inside me.]

ellimonster reblogged

perrfectly

www.flickr.com

Sumyko

ellimonster reblogged

quotemadness

“Every word has consequences, every silence too.”

— Jean-Paul Sartre

ellimonster

3 for 30.

My birthday the other week reminded me how much has changed in three decades.

If my life were a comic book I don’t know if I’d be the hero or the villain.

I suppose I’d be a hero to some and a villain to others.

All I can hope for moving forward is that I’ll always be a hero to my daughter.

ellimonster

I’m a mofuggin mom. And holy shit, I had no idea I could do it. No really, I was told I could never have kids because of the long term effects of abuse and other issues. But I did it. Had some crazy complications in the process, but hey - we’re here. Not that anyone reads any of my posts anymore, so this is simply a reminder to myself. A reminder that you literally overcame the impossible. So when you have a bad day, remember that. Please.

ellimonster reblogged

ellimonster

L

This letters been a while in its writing. It has drowned in dusk and burnt in dawn

It has flown across glaciers, aspirated in deserts, floated down canals It has walked with me for some time

Things are finally working out for me and I’ve been clean I wish I’d stopped the substance abuse even after we started talking again

Sometimes I wish things would’ve worked out different for us, like they do in anime or movies I really don’t know if there is a greater force truly in charge of finding wholesomeness for us But I hope there is

Nevertheless

There’s this burden on my soul I may never amend One I brought upon myself One I hope God will find contrite

I’ll understand and respect your silence if you so choose I’d just disappoint myself even more if I never reached out

ellimonster

When I first read this, my blood boiled with anger. But my life has changed so much now - that anger needs to be let go. I need/want to be a better influence for my daughter. So here is me saying that I am letting it go. Here is me saying that it’s not okay, but that it no longer holds the space in my heart that pains me anymore. I choose to fill my heart with positive things instead, so that they may overflow and spill into my daughters life.

ellimonster

L

This letters been a while in its writing. It has drowned in dusk and burnt in dawn

It has flown across glaciers, aspirated in deserts, floated down canals It has walked with me for some time

Things are finally working out for me and I've been clean I wish I'd stopped the substance abuse even after we started talking again

Sometimes I wish things would've worked out different for us, like they do in anime or movies I really don't know if there is a greater force truly in charge of finding wholesomeness for us But I hope there is

Nevertheless

There's this burden on my soul I may never amend One I brought upon myself One I hope God will find contrite

I'll understand and respect your silence if you so choose I'd just disappoint myself even more if I never reached out

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