remade

Happy Alice Day.

this has been in my queue for literally a year

It’s been 150 years.

Happy Alice Day.

this has been in my queue for literally a year

It’s been 150 years.

July 1st.

182nd day of the year.

It’s 12pm.

Congratulations you’ve officially wasted half a year.

I finally understand what blink-182 means.

Happy June the 12th everyone

You won’t be able to reblog this for a year guys

HETEROPHOBIA DOESN’T EXIST CISPHOBIA DOESN’T EXIST REVERSE RACISM DOESN’T EXIST

STOP TRYING TO BE OPPRESSED

Omg the hypocrisy. My sides hurt from laughing.

this post is probably from over a year ago wyd

Happy Alice Day.

this has been in my queue for literally a year

It’s been 150 years.

i lost it with the salad

completely lost it at the gravy

are you srs i couldn’t make it past the brussels sprouts

billy i thought we all agreed to never be creative again

islefroot

The FUCK?!

The fact that buzfeed made it makes it 10 times better

*classical music playing in background* [setting the table]

Narrator: “Here, we will speak about the etiquette of the holiday meal.”

“Here are the ingredients of the meal.”

[puts turkey on plate] “The flesh of a dead bird.”

[cut to two Brussels sprouts on the plate] “These are Brussels sprouts. They are nature’s turd; they taste like tiny turds.”

[rolling Brussels sprouts off the plate] “This is what you do with Brussels sprouts. It is good etiquette.”

[puts stuffing on the plate] “This is stuffing. It is made of bread and vegetables. It is called stuffing because it was stuffed into the anus of a dead bird. Delicious.“

[cut to a single legume on the plate] “A legume. Billy has made a penis out of the legume. That is bad etiquette. [smearing mashed potatoes on the plate and glass so to look like the legume-penis has "ejaculated”] Billy should be sent to his room.“

[making a penis out of a carrot and two Brussels sprouts] "By contrast, here Billy makes a penis on accident. [removing the carrot from the display by eating half of it and putting it back in a different position] He quickly fixes his mistake. That is good etiquette. Now you don’t have to go to your room, Billy.”

[cut to cranberry jelly on the plate] “Here are cranberries.”

[cut to mashed potatoes on the plate] “And the mash of potato. [sticking his finger into the mashed potatoes and dragging it through] What has Billy hidden under his mash? Look, it’s the cranberry. He’s being silly.”

[cut to full arrangement of dinner on the plate including stuffing, legumes, carrots, potatoes, Brussels sprouts, turkey, cranberries, and a roll] “Look at the nice way Billy has arranged his food on the plate.”

[cut to different arrangement] “Now he has arranged it by colors. He is being creative.”

[cut to minimalist arrangement] “Look, Billy is not very hungry now, and he still makes a nice plate.”

[cut to arrangement of individual bites featuring all aspects of the meal] “Look at the tiny bites he has made.”

[cut to arrangement of meal by food group in the shape of a triangle] “Now he has made a food pyramid. Billy has no friends.”

[cut to food separated from each other on the plate so nothing is touching] “He has separated his food. He is an obsessive. Maybe he writes computer programs.”

[squeezing all the food in his hands] “Billy is acting like an idiot. He is playing with his food.”

[cut to a picture of the food that looks like a person with blood splattered on their face and the word “DIE”] “He has made a bad drawing on his plate. Billy needs therapy.”

[cut to a picture of the food that looks like a scenic landscape picture] “He has made a nice drawing. Billy doesn’t need therapy now.”

[cut to food with Billy holding his fork about to eat] “Here is the correct way of using your eating utensil.”

[cut to fork lying on the plate with no food on the plate] “This is the wrong way. [Billy shows that he is holding all the food in his hand] This is bad etiquette.” [places the food on top of the fork]

[cut to plate with only mashed potatoes on it] “[making a divot in the potatoes with a spoon] Billy makes a divot in his mash for his gravy. [pouring the gravy into the divot] He is sexually frustrated.”

[cut to full plate of food with Billy pouring gravy all over it] “Billy went on a date. Look at how he applies his gravy now.”

[cut to Billy holding his hand over his food and pouring the gravy on his hand] “Now Billy is addicted to pornography.”

[cut to bowl of salad] “He doesn’t like the salad. [throws all the salad out of the bowl] It reminds him of death.”

[bringing pumpkin pie into shot] “Now it’s time for pie. [lifting slice out of the pie tin] Billy takes a small piece. How much is left? How much pie is left? [showing a bar graph of remaining pie vs taken pie] Here is a graph.”

[spraying canned whipped cream on top of slice of pie] “May I have some whip, please? Billy is still addicted to pornography.”

[cut to cranberry remnants on plate arranged to look like an ink blot painting] “He is finished now, and he sees things on his messy plate. Billy sees the devil.”

[cut to pumpkin pie remnants on plate arranged to look like Elvis Presley] “Now he sees something different. He is (voice and picture distort) hallucinating now.”

[cut to completely empty table] “The meal is now done, and Billy says ‘Happy Holidays’.”

@captioned-vines

Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean mental illness don’t exist.

Important!