APRIL 6 2014 – AFTER PRACTICE

Hockey players at restaurants

Waiter: so you wanted the salad?

hockey player: well ya'know, i'a think that the salad is a good choice and uh I think that the chef has just gotta make a real good effort and uh I uh trust the famer, he’s been doin’ a fine job growing the lettuce ya know he’s got a real good thing goin,he really cares and I uh just gotta do my part and uh finish that salad.

*record scratch* *freeze frame* Patrick Sharp: Yep, that’s me. You might be wondering how I got here…

You can make me do anything by calling me babygirl

#codependent couples

u know what's great? im not in highschool anymore

STEM major: hey good luck on finals

liberal arts major: yeah you too

that one white dude who wears shorts when it’s 30 degrees outside: it’s not even that cold lol I feel fine what’s the big deal

and that dude? was a business major

When you stop wanting it, it immediately comes to you.

I totally don’t want enough money for uni lol

[X]

Feel free to get attached to particular hockey players. Feel free to get attached to certain teams. Just don’t get attached to particular players being on certain teams because that will end your life. Just don’t do it.

my problem is i know that i’m ugly but i still want someone cute to notice me and fall in love with me

WHAT THE FUCK HE LOOKS SO GOOD

You know our parents didn’t want us to go online because they thought middle-aged men would stalk us, but oh how the tables have turned

JULY 2014 ~ RADIO SHOW (CONVENTION)