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rest in peace, lee sun kyun.
thank you for giving us so many wonderful performances and one of my absolute favorites in my mister. you will always be remembered.
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"Goodbye." "Can I get a hug?" -My Ahjussi (2018) Ep 16
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but how perfect is it that what leads Ji An back to Dong Hoon is his voice?
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He had just seen her. Ran into her by chance, or was it fate he wondered. Actually, if she hadn’t approached him first he might not have been able to recognize her. She looked lovely, he thought. He hadn’t been able to stop smiling since then. He still felt the warmth of her hand in his and it sent a shiver all over his body. His steps felt lighter as he walked back to work. His team members and now workers at his own company had noticed his change and bombarded him with questions about what had put him in such a great mood. The ever quiet Park Dong Hoon had said nothing. When he had started to smile to himself, his teammates wondered if he was finally loosing it.
The team did notice however how he would just look at his phone every few seconds. He had been itching to text or call her since he saw her. He didnt want to come on too strong though so he decided to wait.
It wasn’t until the end of that day that he was found out. They had been in a meeting and his cell phone pinged with a text. The screen had flashed “Ji An” and Park Dong Hoon almost tripped over himself trying to get to his phone. In the brief second that it took him to pick it up from the table both Assistant manager Kim and Chief Song had caught a glimpse.
“Ji An” Manager Kim had said outloud,
“Oh, Lee Ji An?! Are you talking to her again?”
Chief Song more perceptive than the rest just looked over his flustered boss and chuckled. He had deciphered their relationship long ago, even if he still hadn’t. Trying his best to at least act cool Park Dong Hoon mentioned that he had seen her earlier. His team looked around at each other and collectible let out and “Oh” of understanding.
“It’s no big deal” he had said nonchalantly but Chief Song had pointed out he was clutching his phone awfully hard. The team broke out in giggles and decided that was enough teasing for now. They got up and let their boss have some privacy.
Before closing the door Chief Song poked his head in and said that he still owed Ji An that hug. And there it was, the annoyed look on his boss’s face, exactly the reaction that he was expecting. Chief Song chuckled and quickly said to let her know that they should have drinks soon.
Finally alone he read her message,
“Can I call you later tonight?” You are a CEO now and I don’t want to bother you.“
He surprised himself by sighing loudly. Even though he was incredibly happy that she had texted him he’d have to wait even longer to hear her voice again. He’s quick to reply that "It’s ok, she could call him anytime. He would wait.” And adds that “she could never bother him”
Once he got home his mind replays the winter when they had first met. They had found each other when they were living the worst moments of their lives. She had given him the push to get his stalled life going again. And he had let her go, begrudgingly, to live a new life, a life she most certainly deserved. A life away from him. Going over their relationship he admitted he had always know what his feeling for her were even when he tried to bury them they would just bubble to the surface and make his heart clench painfully. Back then he just wasn’t in a place were he could share them freely with her. She deserved everything and he didn’t want to be in the way. He wonders if it might be too late. He tells himself to snap out of it. He would have to wait and see what their meeting had in store for them.
That night she calls him and hearing her soft voice sends a tingling feeling all over his body again. She’s quiet and shy, then he realizes she had been listening to his breathing. “Ji An…” he start to say says and he can hear her take a breath.
“Ahjusshi” comes out softly, “can I buy you something delicious tomorrow?” She asks almost hesitantly.
“Yes, let do that” he replies and his cheeks start to hurt from smiling so much.
They decide to meet in a new place near her work. It’s very similar in atmosphere to the neighborhood bar they always went to before. She is surprised to see him there already waiting for her. She looks at him from head to toe taking him in and stops when he spots her, their eyes lock and his face breaks out into that beaming smile from the previous day.
She’s a little awkward, but his cheerfulness relaxes her. She realizes how different things are. And remembers the time when he told her he had been on the verge of dying. How true that had been for both of them. He looks good, too good she thinks and that smile on his face that hasn’t left since she got there makes him look younger. She mentally scolds herself as she tries to stop her foolish heart from running wild.
“You seem happy ahjusshi” she says.
“I am happy” he says and hi eyes meet hers, “I’m happier here, right now…with you”
She’s stunned silent and her heart beats wildly in her chest. She had hoped against hope for so long.
He takes a breath ready to say everything he’s been holding on to for far too long. The day he let her go, he had been devastated. It was then that he realized the depth of his own feelings for her. So, he had made a choice to live his life differently. And promised himself that if they ever met again he would use his opportunity to at least let her know that every time she confessed to him his heart had wanted to reach out. That he hadn’t been in a position to accept her feelings for him even if he was right there along with her.
“Ji An, I’m not married anymore” he blurts out. He takes a deep breath and says I’ve been living alone for quite a while now. Ji Seok’s mom went to the states to live with him. He falters as he says “I know I’m and older man and you could do so much better than someone like me, but… he’s stopped by her small hand on his lips. He panics a little, his eyes scanning her face. She’s silently crying and takes a breath to compose herself before she says,
"I love you ahjusshi”
He covers her hand with his own and kisses her palm, overwhelmed by the intensity of her feelings for him. He let’s the words wash over his heart and says
“My heart has loved you far longer that I let myself believe” “I love you too”
She smiles her eyes shining with tears and he hears her say,
“Ahjusshi” before she let’s out a sob. He holds her hands in his, tears streaming down his own face.
“Ji An” he says, “let’s be happy…let’s be happy together” she looks up at him a radiant smile gracing her face and nods her head in agreement.
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“What’s got you in such a good mood Dong Hoon Ah? You keep smiling” Jae Chul asks late one night at Jung Hee’s bar.
“Nothing” he had been quick to reply taking a swig of his drink.
Jae Chul gives him the once over tsking as he says,
“I don’t know, you really are acting strange today”
He didn’t think he was too different, I mean yeah he had been seeing Ji An since the day they ran into each other a few weeks ago. But he was trying to keep that private for the time being. They had just had a particularly spectacular date and he couldn’t stop thinking about her. The flashes in his mind of her lips on his and her hands tangled in his hair were making him flushed. Luckily he could use alchohol as a cover. He thought the conversation would move on but instead he was startled with a loud,
“Are you dating?”
Park Dong Hoon choked on his drink hard. All eyebrows in Jung Hee’s bar rose at his reaction.
Ki Hoon who had been studying him is quick to say,
“She’s back, isn’t she?
He doesn’t reply instead busying himself with cleaning his clothes. He finds that Ki hoon would not be easily discouraged by feigning ignorance.
"I bet you that’s it. You’re seeing her” he stated, clearly pleased with himself for having figured it out.
“Seeing who?” He could hear from the group.
“Ya, you bastard”, he warns. He really doesn’t want to share this just yet. It’s too new, too exciting and terrifying at the same time.
“I need a smoke”
Ki Hoon says and pats his brother on the shoulder signaling he should follow him outside. He takes this chance to get away, since the questions from everyone have not stopped yet. He figures if he is to have this conversation, his younger brother would be at least understanding. Lighting a cigarette, Ki Hoon ponders and after taking a long puff he says,
“I already told you once to be careful, but I feel like I dont have to worry about that with that girl right? It’s clear she loves you. I could see that…we all could”
Park Dong Hoon is taken aback. The nature of their relationship had been blurry from the start. He had struggled with his feelings for her for so long. Only willing to accept them fully once she was gone. While hers had always been out in the open for everyone to see.
“Are you happy?” Ki Hoon asks,
“Hyung, you know you are allowed to be happy right?”
After a long pause and a defeated sigh he replies,
“Yes, I am happy” And that is all he is willing to say.
Ki Hoon chuckles, patting him on the back,
“I knew it! Well, then that’s all that matters isn’t it. Bring her by when you are ready. I’m sure everyone here would love to see her. She was a good fit, the last time she was here.”
And that she was, he thought. While his ex wife had just wanted to isolate him with her form of affection, Ji An had accepted him whole. He had always been Park Dong Hoon +family +neighborhood. He was a loyal caring friend, and in turn people loved him as well.
Two weeks later be brings her by. They are holding hands as they leisurely walk the road that saw them together long ago. He can tell she’s nervous, and he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t as well. They had talked about their new relationship status. Unable to keep dodging questions, he had come out clean about them last week. And while some were puzzled by their pairing, most had known this was coming. They had also all been equally excited for him, for them.
As Jung Hee’s bar gets closer, he asks her if she’s ready. Her big beautiful eyes meet his and she nods. He kisses the hand that he was holding, smiling at each other as he gets ready to open the door.
The jingle of the bells announces their arrival. They are met with the lively bunch all cheering for them. He laughs and she’s a little startled when she’s almost yanked out of his side, plopped into a chair, given food and drinks, and congratulatory pats on the back. She looks back at him still standing there taking it all in. He beams at her, pleased that she is so welcomed. Jung Hee approaches him and says quietly
“I’m glad for you Dong Hoon Ah. She’s a lovely girl, and has a big heart…just like you”
He smiles at her fondly and thanks her. He knows how much Jung Hee adores her.
He marvels at his life now. It most certainly wasn’t what he had expected. But like Gyeomduk had once told him he had to live the life he wanted, and he ultimately was. She had been instrumental in that development. Everything that happened led them both here. Even though he had missed her desperately when she was gone their separation was a time much needed to sort everything out. Life had brought them together again as better versions of themselves. And here she was, finally, with him. His friends treating her as if she had never left, as one of their own.
Ji An smiles back at him, joy shinning in her eyes. She is soon distracted though by Jae Chul merrily handing her another drink. Park Dong Hoon finally comes in and takes the seat next to her. In that small neighborhood bar the warmth that surrounds them is not because of the changing seasons. It’s because of the people who inhabit it, and for that he is very grateful.
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I. EM. SCREAMING.
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“Is this it? Is this all we’re going to be?” She had said and it had left him stunned. They had been walking home late from another…date.
He had stood there rooted to the spot. How could she be so blunt, he wondered. Words always had seemed to fail him, to not be the right ones, when it came to them. They were so opposite that way. They had been dancing around this thing between them for a while. Months really, and too long if he was being truthful. And it was always one step forward and two behind.
After their first meeting at that coffee shop they had seen each other too often to call it nothing. He knew he loved her, desperately wanted to be with her. But his inability to star something romantic with her stemmed from his paralizing fear to fail again. To fail with her. Even if he had been able to get a divorce and slowly moved on with his life he knew that if this thing that they had didn’t work out he would most certainly die. It was different that way with her, she made him feel so much. He couldn’t lie to himself any longer, she meant too much to him.
They had argued, she had made herself clear again. She didn’t want to hope anymore. It wasn’t fair, and he knew it. He really had to do something, say something,
I…you…know… he struggled to get the words out.
“What” she challenged.
“I…care about you…a lot”
She sighs because she knows this. She is painfully aware that their feelings are mutual. She’s been patient and understanding. She’s also been steady in her affection. He’s the one who’s still hesitating.
“Well, I love you ahjusshi…you know that” she says.
She won’t settle for less, she knows he loves her too. He tries to be subtle but she can see it in his every action. She can feel his desire too. Everytime they part it takes longer to leave one another. They are in constant touch, with messages and phone calls that last hours. She can sense his apprehension to take the next step though, and she’s had it, so she’ll push hard if she has to.
Her face falls, his words are not enough and he knows it. He has to let go, allow himself to be free and just live. Because imagining a life with her not in it snaps something deep inside him. He’s lost her once. He knows how much that hurts. He can’t do that again. He strides over to her gathering her in his arms kissing her fiercely. She’s surprised for a moment but responds with all her might, tears springing to her eyes.
When the part they are breathless.
“Ji An” he says his voice cracking, laced with so much pent up emotion.
“I…I can’t ever loose you. It would destroy me” he finally confesses with a shaky breath.
“And I’m afraid, so afraid that one day you’ll realize that I’m just an old man and…”
“Ahjusshi” she says softly a hint of a smile on her face. “That won’t happen” she grabs his hand and places it over her heart.
“You feel this?” She asks looking up into his eyes.
“It’s yours. You have it, all of it. You can’t keep doing this to yourself, to me. Don’t doubt me. I am sure, I just want you. Forever.”
Forever was what haunted him though. He had already lived half his life. He knew his age and hers and it tormented him.
She could see the conflict in his eyes like a raging storm.
“Ahjusshi” she says softly and as if she had the ability to really read his thoughts says,
“Just promise me one thing and one thing only”
“What” he replies tightly.
“In your next life…in our next life… find me sooner” She gives him a small smile.
“Let’s be childhood sweethearts, born in your neighborhood”
“Ji An…” he says his voice cracking again, lips trembling. It’s too much, her devotion to him astounds him.
“But in this life, just love me and let me love you…please. Let’s live this together"
Park Dong Hoon is overcomed with tears. How can she love him so deeply, how can she be so unwavering in her feelings. He’s just so amazed by her.
He crushes her to him, this tiny super woman that has the ability to love with her whole being, and tells her,
"Until you.. I didn’t want to be reborn. But now, I do. I promise…I promise you I’ll find you every time…”
“And we’ll be happy?” She asks gently looking up at him, wrapping her arms around him.
“Yes…yes, the happiest” he replies burying his face in her hair.
“What about now, are we going to be happy now too?”
He smiles tenderly at her, he licks his lips and kisses her gently, deeply.
“Yes” he says when they part. “We’ll be happy now too”
He vows with all his heart to keep his word. Even is he lives 500 lives like she had said once, he will find her because she is home.
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Park Dong Hoon had lived his life fulfilling obligations. He had done everything that was expected of him. He had lived in a fog of routine and duty. He had thought about ending it all multiple times. The weight of it all was crushing him. In the end he was passive about that as well.
He had never wanted, or asked for things. His heart was never selfish. And he had paid for that in life. But now with her he finds himself doing things he never thought he would do.
She snuck up on him. Turned his world slightly sideways. Since it was never has perfect as he had made himself believe. And she gave him a push into living.
Reserved and private was his nature but she brought out his protective side like no one else had. Their relationship developed naturally. Silence was comfortable. A deep understanding of one another. True friendship.
He had thought he had been happy a few times in his life. When Yon Hee had accepted him. Even though if he was truthful she was the one who had pursued him. When he had gotten married he was happy that he was making his family happy. When he became a father might be the only time he truly felt happiness and the others paled in comparison.
Slowly though his life had lost its luster. He felt so very trapped. Lost and in silent anguish. They had decided to sent Ji Seok abroad and that had hurt him more than anything. He knew he couldn’t ask, because he never did, for her to give up the career that was so important to her. So he went along with it making himself believe he was giving his child a chance at a better future, and his wife room to grow in her career. And everone was happy…except him.
They had chosen wrong. Maybe because he had never really chosen with his true heart. When he chose her from a pile of exceptional applicants he never imagined the impact his decision would have on his life and hers.
He found himself loving her. It terrifies him. Had he ever liked someone before he wondered.
He thought himself ridiculous to be feeling almost like a shy schoolboy for the first time at his age. Sneaking glances, looking for ways to talk to her, to be with her. Her company a balm to his broken soul. His every thought always with her. He realizes she is his first love.
His mother is sad at her pitiful son. Unable to keep his marriage together. It’s not in his nature to hurt anyone so he takes all the blame. His brothers and…her all know the truth and that’s enough.
When she says she is leaving he hears himself whine that where she is going is too far. How can he be without her. He knows it’s not fair to ask someone to stay with no promises. His morals stop him from doing so. And how can he ask someone that’s never seen the world outside of her own miserable one to stay. She needs to live and he happy as well, he knows that. So he will bear with it, and for her he will try to be happy like he promised.
He realizes that once you take charge of your own life and do things right, it’s actually worth living. Being happy had been a choice all along. He had just never made it for himself.
When they run into each other, he acknowledges that his resistance was in fact in vain. He loves her still. He loved her always. They are improved people now. They had taken the time to find happiness individually. Their hearts were mended, and this time he’s finally able to admit his feelings. So he holds her hand tight, not ready to let her go. He’s not wasting this chance and wants to subtlety let her know. In his own quiet Park Dong Hoon way. And she figures it out, his silent plea. When she says she’ll buy him a meal, and call him he knows the best is yet to come.
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Normal
“You’ve got more grey hairs…” She pointed the side of his head.
“I’m nearing fifty, remember?” He said casually, not taking his eyes away from his laptop.
“I love them, by the way…”
“Of course you do. You love everything about me,” he smirked.
He meant it as a joke, so she gave him the laugh he deserved. But he didn’t know how true his statement was.
She loved everything about him, so very much, she scared herself.
Was it normal? She wondered sometimes.
She went to Busan knowing that she might never see him again.
The first few months were hard, but she’s nothing if not determined. And she promised herself she would use this second chance the best as she could. So she put his memories in the most precious corner of her heart and moved on. She even thought she had managed to erased her feelings for him.
When she was suddenly transferred to Seoul, she didn’t dare to hope. She often walked past Saman E&C building with a bittersweet feelings, but she didn’t look for him. She continued to live her life like she always do.
Until one day she heard his voice again.
Her feet moved automatically towards him, as if she was being pulled by an invisible thread. And, there he was. She could only see him from behind. Then he turned and smiled at her. His smile was so full of happiness, she felt her lips formed an answering smile.
She remembered that day clearly. How she tried to act cool, calm and collected when her heart almost burst from her chest. They exchanged small talks. He couldn’t stop smiling and seemed very happy to see her, but she didn’t know how to feel. She didn’t know where they stand.
When her coworkers called her to go back to the office, she panicked. It can’t end just like this, she aught to do something! But her brain shortcircuited, so she could only stared at him. It was him who made the first move by asking her for a handshake. His big, warm hand grabbed her smaller one and refused to let go. The handshake gave her the courage to tell him she wanted to buy him something delicious. His answer was huge shy smile, the cutest thing she ever saw. And the rest, as they say, is history.
She closed the book she’s supposed to be reading, but forgotten in her trip to memory lane, and looked at him.
After that day, her feelings emerged slowly from where she’d buried them. The fact that she never stopped loving him was not a surprise. And the more she know about him, the more her love grew.
He can be very frustrating, she admitted. Sometimes too set in his ways, although he can be persuaded. He’s a reasonable man, most of the time.
She looked at the crow feet at the corner of his eyes, the laughter lines. He laughed more freely now.
But she had loved him when he was a somber man, long time ago. When it was as if he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders.
He’s strong. The inner strength that held him up and kept him going, she adored that.
Also his kindness. His caring nature. His trust in the goodness of human…
And all other qualities, good or bad, charming or annoying, everything that made him Park Dong Hoon. She loved him. So much. So wholeheartedly.
Was it normal?
“Stop looking at me like that,” his protest intruded her thoughts. She didn’t realised he’d stopped working.
“Looking at you like what? Like I want to eat you?” She teased.
His face reddened. He couldn’t help the shy smile emerged from his lips. But suddenly he leaned in and whispered into her ear, “Promise, Ji An?”
She lost her wit. Nothing she could do but sitting there flustered, heart beating fast.
He leaned back and let out a mock regret sigh. “But, I have to finish this first,” he gestured to the papers strewn all over the desk.
She glared at him, while he hid his victory smirk behind his laptop.
This man, she loved him so much. Always, with no boundaries.
Was it normal?
Maybe.
Her normal.
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Lee Sun Kyun and Lee Ji Eun (IU) photoshoot for Haru Hana Magazine and Korean TV Drama Magazine.
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I can never get enough of him...
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i would pay for Park Dong Hoon to explain the Tower of Pisa to me
아저씨 소리… 다 좋았어요
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I read that “IU Is Back!” and I was so excited for a second because I thought it would be for My Mister 2: Still Mistering, where they’re just cute dating and making out for the whole series :(