probably petting a cat

his name is Whole Roasted Chicken

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Audrey Hepburn

The quote on my blog

customer: hi how are you today

me: 

I really…fucking hate customer service.

Like…

Okay, as a lot of you know, I work overnights at a hotel. It’s for a pretty recognizable brand, so we get a lot of high paying customers.

Part of my job is to prep the breakfast area before the breakfast team shows up so that breakfast is done by the time it needs to be. This, of course, means that I have to step away from the desk. It doesn’t really help that the time I need to start working on breakfast is also when customers start checking out.

So I had the bright idea of making a sign. It’s not fancy, the letters are pretty big, and it basically just says “Hey if you need me I’m in the kitchen, just give a holler.”

It’s worked really well so far; people see it, they call for me, and I get them taken care of with little to no fuss. Or, at least, it’s worked up until now.

This guy.

This. Fucking. Guy.

I finish prepping the breakfast area, I walk out, and at the front desk is a man, huffing and puffing. He harshly asks “Are you working the front desk?”.

I say with my best customer service voice “Yes sir, I just had to prep a few things for the breakfast team. Can I help you with anything?”

“Yeah you can help me by giving me some fucking service. I’ve been waiting for almost five minutes and I have to catch my flight!”

Oh boy. Here we go.

So I tell the man, “Well, sir, if you’ll look right in front of you, if you needed me, that sign tells you that I was in the kitchen.”

And this man. Just. Fucking looks at me. And says.

“You expect me to fucking read on my day off?”

And I just.

I was floored. That someone would say that. Completely unironically. With no hesitation.

Just

Fucking customer service, man.

This image is way funnier considering that this is Egypt and this snow was the first snow they got in 112 years.

this man has waited 112 years to SLAM DUNK that snowball on this man’s head

Cain and Able colorized

Going through the notes on your phone is just like: *codes and passwords that don’t tell you what they lead to* *a random fact* *midnight thoughts from 3 years ago* *a wishlist* *something your friend told you about that you were “definitely going to check out”* *random numbers* *drafts of emotionally charged messages* *shopping lists* *todo lists* *fake poetry* *a diary entry*

happy halloween! here is a ghost duet

I love this so much. I always play it when it comes on

how cute

I have no words

thanks for the hot tip, tumblr spambot that just started following me

dont tell me where to put lizards