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I Got Feld Up

@igotfeldup / igotfeldup.tumblr.com

[life in los angeles: a midwest girl married to a jersey boy]
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Beyoncé (planning CMA performance): How can I make the conservative racists in this fanbase even more pissed and uncomfortable? 

Beyoncé: *sees footage of Dixie Chicks performing “Daddy Lessons” on tour*

Beyoncé:

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me: *pretends to be a stone cold bitch*
also me: *cries when I think about kids who sit by themselves at lunch*
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Figured out how to cure the whole "losing an hour" thing.

Spoiler alert: it involved a full day in the sun with some of my favorites.

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Fun Fact: the very first season of Extreme Makeover was very The Swan-esque (people had plastic surgery makeovers). One girl had never been kissed, so a kissing expert brought DJ in to be her first kiss.

He has always told me it's not online anywhere because it "predates YouTube" and I've been searching for that damn clip for years and TODAY IS THE DAY THAT I FINALLY FOUND IT AND VICTORY IS MINE.

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Grief is such a strange thing.

I was up until 1:30 this morning sobbing thinking about my granny. Like can't breathe through your nose, head hurts because you dehydrate yourself sobs.

When she died almost 12 years ago, I thought for sure the sadness would go away at some point...but it hasn't, and I've learned that it never will. 

And I'm pretty sure that's okay.

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For all intents and purposes, I am a very practical person. I don't really believe in soulmates and fate and all of that. But I can clearly see how certain life choices I made that seemed insignificant along the way have impacted my life in a major way. For example:

  • If I would have stayed pre-med and gone to med school to become a pediatrician, I never would have moved to LA.
  • If DJ would have chosen Pitt over Ohio State, he never would have come out to the Rose Bowl and had his "I'm moving to LA" moment, and would likely still be on the East Coast.

DJ and I talk about this from time to time, and it's so surreal to me to think that one change anywhere along the way could have completely altered the course of my [our] life.

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