three older motorcyclists pulled up behind my car when i was at a stoplight and they were just. investigating. so shocked and confused. grappling with the punchline, struggling, grasping for some semblance of understanding, only to find none. i love gen z humor dumbfounding old men.

i never mentioned that this is my bumper sticker

me .01 seconds after emphatically saying yes to plans

Clueless (1995)

“As our ship approached the massive ice cap, I was shocked to see a string of waterfalls that straddled the entire expanse of the melting ice” 

Nordaustlandet, Svalbard, Norway. Photo by Paul Nicklen.  

Ma'am, your organs are shutting down.

Wombman

imagine being so insufferably self righteous even your organs yeet

(x)

i used to work at Denny’s and honestly i served the weirdest people like this one time these two really stoned guys came in and when they were ordering their drinks the one guy was like “i would like a coke with exactly 6 ice cubes” and i actually counted out 6 and brought him his drink and when he saw that there was actually exactly 6 ice cubes he just stared at me for an uncomfortably long time and also he tipped me 20 dollars

I love seeing men gush about their relationships and the women they love. It’s time for the whole trope of men hating being married/ viewing relationships as things holding them back. Amen for men uplifting their women and their relationship. Amen for men getting choked up and ready eyes thinking about the one they love. Amen for men thinking of the woman they are with as their best friend.

social media was a good development because back in ancient greece it didn’t exist and people would just be yelling their opinions in the city square instead and the only way to block them was murder or exile

the court of athens, sentencing socrates to death for “rotting the youth and disrespecting the gods”: blocked, unfollowed, reported

YOU GUYS IT’S DECEMBER 10TH YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND THIS HAS BEEN IN MY QUEUE SINCE FEBRUARY

everyone’s having their mid-life crises at like 19

These kawaii ass hoes laughing like so funny

Catch senpai ouside how bow dat

a study in catstronomy filed under: things the government doesn’t want us to know

fun fact

im weirdly knowlagable in the history of soda i dont even drink soda why do i know so much about it

coke and pepsi taste different because coke was invent before refrigeration so it was designed to be drunk warm, while pepsi was designed after refrigeration was invented so it was designed to be drunk cold. as a result the tastes are different but if you drink pepsi cold and coke warm theyll taste the same.

Why the fuck do you know this

i honestly have no idea

coke’s recipe was originally green but the designers made it brown so it looked more like tea

Had they never seen green tea?

i dont even know if green tea was invented in 1886 but they wanted to make the public more open to eating the fizzy drink

Green tea was invented in the 13th century and made up 22% of the tea thrown off the ship in the Boston Tea Party 

alan i know about soda not green tea

i will trade u information abt bees and carrier pigeons for information abt the history of soda

no one knows where the origin of the name ‘7up’ started but it did have a mood stabilizer in the original recipe found in present day anti-depressants

i want facts about bees and carrier pigeons now

Carrier pigeons come from a species of Wild Rock pigeon, and their flights could be as long as 1800 km and were used as early as 3000 years ago. 

You know in old cartoons where a character throws a beehive at someone, and you think ‘lol, but that wouldn’t work in real life’. Turns out it would, and did. People used to lob beehives at the approximate location of the enemy forces to expose them. 

this is amazing thank you

NO