Magic Anons! [Anon specifies time for all of these]
Hot Lips: Aren't you the yummiest thing? Everybody who comes into your askbox finds themselves suddenly wanting to kiss you!
The Emperor: You are convinced you have some fantastic new clothes. In fact, you are completely naked, and you just can't see it. Everyone else can, though!
Social Pariah: Oh dear. You have an aura of repulsion around you which means your friends, lovers, and enemies find themselves unable to bear being near you for long.
Rumour Has It!: Psst, have you heard that one about....? You might not have, but everyone else has heard a bunch of delicious rumours about you. If you're particularly unfortunate, they may even have reached the news. Anon specifies the rumour.
In Heat: Someone's a little bit *needy*. Actually, you're so overcome with lust that you really, really need something to happen. Like, right now. And you'll whine pitifully until you get it.
Howl: You are now a werewolf, and sugar, it's full moon. Have fun with that.
Sensory Deprivation: You've just lost one of your five senses. Oh no! Anon specifies which you lose.
Freaky Friday: You just swapped bodies with one of your friends! Anon specifies who.
Walking Dead: It's the zombie apocalypse. You've just been thrown head first into it. Friends/followers of yours can join in too, if they want!
Sick: Oh dear, you're a little bit poorly with ------ [anon specifies]. Rest up, and get cuddles and chicken soup!
The Stork Has Come: Congratulations! You have a bundle of joy on the way!
Arrow of Cupid: You suddenly fall head over heels in love with whomever the anon specifies.
Duck: Guess what you've just been turned into. Quack, quack!
The Chosen One: You are suddenly the hero of a famous book or film. Worse, you still think you look like you, but everyone else sees *them* instead.
Let's Dance: You suddenly can't stop dancing. Worse, your dance moves look like your parents doing the macarena in 1999.
Blades at Dawn: Oh dear, you suddenly are filled with a desire to fight with everyone you meet!
Real Bad Things: You wake up after some time of excruciating pain to find yourself thirsting for something which sure as hell ain't water. Yep, you're now a fanged denizen of the night. If you were already a vampire, you're now a vampire hunter instead.
Thirteen, Going On...: Oh no, you're now thirteen again. Enjoy your renewed youth!
Violet, Sebastian: Whatever your gender is, you're now something else.
With a Smile and a Song: Yes, you're now a Disney Princess. No matter what your gender was before.
Mutant and Proud: You're now a mutant. Anon specifies what your power is...and who you work for.
Hail to the King: You now think you're the Ruler of your country. Nobody else agrees with you, understandably.
He's Gone: In an alternate universe, they're dead. Gone forever. Anon specifies who.
The Unsub: You suddenly have unholy rage, a score to settle, and a weapon to do it with.
Bibbity, bobbity, boo!: You're suddenly the Fairy Godmother/Father to your friends, able to grant their wishes.
Don't Stop Believin': You suddenly think you're in Glee, and keep breaking into song. Watch out for those slushies! If you really are in Glee, you're now Sue Sylvester.
Purple Fingernails: A china doll is following you around...and they're getting creepier. Are you scared yet?
Mad Man With a Box: Guess who you are for a day? If you already are the Doctor, then you're now a different version of yourself. Anon specifies which version you are.
You Need a Hug or Something?: You suddenly want to give hugs to everyone you meet. Regardless of whether you know and like them or not.