odin is like “when thor was born the sun shone bright upon his beautiful face. i found loki on the sidewalk outside a taco bell”

Oðinn spake:

Bright the sun shone | at the time of Þor’s birth, And bathed his count'nance fair. Loki, wolf-father, | the trickster, the liar, I found on the cold pavement While returning in glory | from a grand hunt For a 3 AM quesadilla.

@damn-fuck-i-burnt-myself-again

I need this framed on my wall it’s so beautiful. 

@theshitpostcalligrapher

ay @systlin hmu

@systlin

My husband complained that this was more Shakespeare than Eddas, and I challenged him to do better.

Solen sken, skönt gyllene

Dagen Tor föddes

På trottoaren, vid Taco Bell

Där låg Loke

—KJN

My translation:

The sun shone, sweet golden

The day of Tor’s birth

On the tarmac, by Taco Bell

There lay Loki

(For poetry reasons, Thor needs the Swedish spelling.)

@bold-sartorial-statement

ay yo show ur husband 

@bold-sartorial-statement no but hang on this should be in runes: 

(oops spot the typos)

i wanna translate this into icelandic so imma do it 

Sólin skein, björt og gullin við fæðingu Þórs á stígnum við Taco Bell Þar lá Loki

The amount of quality going into these shitposts is amazing

This is not shitposting, this is transformative work!

And in Danish because why not:

Solen skinnede, skøn og gylden

På dagen for Tors fødsel

På asfalten ved Taco Bell

Dér lå Loke

“LEV MERE (LIVE MAS)”

*Snorts*

When Thor born

He hair shine brite

A very very

Magical site

But then I see

A bab from hell

I pik up loki

From taco bell

the rosetta stone of shitposting

@incorrectnorse-quotes

Now THIS is the best post on this hellsite

JUST FUCKING LISTEN. 

THIS IS HALLOWEEN BUT NOT LIKE YOU KNOW IT

reblog so others can hear it!

Where the hell are the Victorian Goths they should be all over this.

*SMASHES REBLOG BUTTON*

this is some insta-reblog shit, my friends, i’m like 20 seconds in

HELL YES I LOVE THIS

Happy ten years to this post!

Herrrre’s a new beastie, pov you are a tasty mackerel or perhaps an eel.

I didn’t mean for her to look so…cute? She’s been in the crockpot for a while and seeing all the lion-dancer posts gave me the need to flesh her out.

I guess she’s like a massive hydrozoan type beast that’s being puppeted around by a couple mutant isopods? I’ll think of something more in depth for her though.

Her name is Maggie Motley :3c

And I made a new chunky water mark✨

I know I’ve said this before but vampires

therefore I am in dire need of a heist film where a group of vampires band together to steal back their old stuff from museums

Oceans 1100 AD

Very interested in the hardest part of this beign the vampires trying to trick someone into granting them permission to enter the premises earlier in the day

I feel like this has several simple solutions!

(all ideas shared on this blog are public domain, feel free to go nuts. you can find more story ideas like this on my ko-fi)

outcast of the village

I'm so glad to see this blow up actually. this piece feels very important to me, especially that it's not a fanart

icon

Oh my God its true

how are yall gonna share this all and not mention that the muppet with the fraggle rack is named Arieola Borealis

every single addition to this post caused additional psychic damage i hit 0hp at ‘fraggle rack’

official boob post

[video by emersonbrophy. caption: no celery was wasted in the making of this video (very sick of ants on a log)]

yeah i use this pro gamer technique called "hitting every single button frantically with my little raccoon hands until something happens" you probably wouldn't get it it's really advanced

THIS WAS AN ACTUAL POST BY THE POKEMON COMPANY. 

don’t click off after it hurts you, please

As it is Passover again, it is time for the annual debate as to whether the frog plague, which thanks to a quirk in the Hebrew, is written as a plague of frog, singular, rather than the plural, plague of frogs, was in fact, as generally imagined, a plague of many frogs, or instead a singular giant Kaiju frog. This is an ancient and venerable argument that actually goes back to the Talmud because this is what the Jewish people are. If we can't argue for fun about this sort of thing, what are we even doing.

In that spirit, I would like to submit a third possibility, which is that in fact it was one perfectly normal sized frog, who was absolutely acing Untitled Frog Game: Ancient Egypt Edition. One particularly obnoxious frog, who through sheer hard work, managed to plague all of Egypt.

Pharoah and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Frog.

New Cerberus just dropped.

Now THAT’S a pet named Spot.

The electric rodents

Artist

Werewolf with a cane, brought to you by my achey joints

Tactoon-cat Cartoons

With each I was like “Surely the cat doesn’t actually look like that in the image. surely this is an exaggeration.” but then I scrolled and yes, the cats are liquid

that last one did not disappoint. 

My take on Pierre Bonnard’s Le Chat Blanc (1894) - 150x232px