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helping with the distance

@helpingwiththedistance / helpingwiththedistance.tumblr.com

We started as a long distance relationship advice blog, but we do general relationship advice too :) Please read our FAQ and "Advice Given" pages before asking your question, as you may find the answer you are looking there :)
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A Heartfelt Goodbye

 Well, that's it guys! It's an end of an era! Helping with the Distance will no longer be active from this day forward!  We (the admins) have discussed this deeply, and this isn't a decision we have taken lightly, but we really do feel as though it's for the best - not just for us, but for the followers too. The reason for this is because we haven't been able to dedicate the time or energy that we used to, and we felt as though we were letting you down, and aren't in a position to get the blog back to it's old standards, and we'd rather let it rest than watch it go into ruin. This isn't because we love you any less, and it isn't because we lost our love of helping people, it's just a case of life taking us all in different directions. I speak for us al, past and present admins that we have loved being a part of this blog, and we're so glad to have helped so many people and seen so many sucessful LDRs, and people closing the distance. On a personal level, we've all made friends out of this blog, and it's been a pleasure to be here.  For those of you who are wondering where you can go now for guidance and advice, you can find ex-HwtD admin, the wonderful and amazing Amber, at http://amberanswers.tumblr.com - she will help :)  I've asked the admins to write a small little thing for this goodbye post:  I am truly sad to see it go but the blog has had a great run! We've just out grown of the blog and I think this is a bittersweet moment where it's sad to leave, I've met some amazing ppl, admins and followers, it always sad to say goodbye we all know that too well, but it's also really exciting to see how much we've all grown and know that we have only better things to come! Wishing everyone love and happiness! - Sakura It is amazing to me just how far, the admins and followers, have grown during the course of this blog. Our admins have closed the distance, gotten engaged, and grown to happy and wonderful times in their life. We have been there through the hard times and the happy times. Just myself I closed the distance, moved into an apartment, and grown immensely into the person I an.today. This blog has made me a confident and stronger women. The overwhelming support we all had for eachother is what I am going to miss the most. Hang in there everyone, follow your heart, and never stop loving and supporting each other. Thats ultimately what this blog was all about, after all :) Love always, Emily Although I was an admin for a very short time, I kept my eyes on this blog from way before. It's been an illuminating journey to say the least, and I learned many things along the way and was advised just as much as I gave advice. Thank you all for making this blog incredible, without our vast number of followers this blog wouldn't be where it is. Although it is very hard to say goodbye, this blog will still be here for others to look on and read up, should they ever need it :) - Susmita This blog was a lot of help to me before I became an admin, and becoming an admin was one of the most rewarding things that has happened to me (so far xD). I've poured my heart and soul into this blog, and I am sad to see it go, like I said, it wasn't a decision that was taken lightly. Months of thought went into it for me. As Sakura and Emily have both said, it's lovely to see how much everyone has grown. When I joined this blog, everyone was in an LDR, and now none of us are (apart from Susmita, whose LDR is half on half off due to college etc). I mean, Sakura is engaged!!!! So do not lose hope! We've all matured so nicely, and grown into fine young women even if I do say so myself :P I think running this blog has been a huge part of who we've developed into... and we've recieved a lot of support from our followers in return from the support we've given them. We've also built up quite a support network ourselves within the admins, I mean we don't talk as much as we used to because of time differences and life getting in the way, but we all know that if one of us needed it, the others would be there for us in our hour of need :) Thank you to each and every follower for your support and understanding, and a huge and special thank you to the other admins here, and past admins (you know who you are if you're reading this) for being such amazing ladies and having me be a part of this :) Stay strong everyone, and remember, distance will only get between you if you let it! Well, that's me, signing off for the last time!  ~Rachael 

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Anonymous asked:

I was with this girl for 5 years. in a long distance relationship for 2. Recently she broke up with me. I dropped my life moved across country and she was the only thing I knew for 5 years. I was going to propose to her this year and we planned on moving back to my state after she finished college. Now I feel like I never meant anything to her by the way she just dropped me like it was nothing. I don't know what to do anymore. There's days I don't want to go on but she's all I think about

I'm really sorry to hear that, that really sucks. I'm going to tell ou that she's not worth your tears if she dropped you just like that, but I know that doesn't make things any easier. The thing is with breakups, is, there's no "break ups for dummies" how to guide on getting over them... Healing is a process that's different for everyone and it has to come naturally to you. One thing you can do though, is to distract yourself… Watch your favourite movies and TV shows, preferably nothing romantic, and something that’ll make you laugh… Read your favourite books, or read that book that you’ve been meaning to read for ages. Play games if you’re into them, something with a good immersive story line. Go out with your friends, the people that make you happy. Talk to them. If you need to cry, then just get it all out, cry until you can’t cry any more. If you don’t have anyone to talk to, or don’t want to talk to anyone, it’s actually really therapeutic to just grab a pen and paper and scrawl all your feelings out, just get them off your chest in whatever way you feel comfortable with, you’ll feel better after I promise. Go for nice long walks somewhere beautiful. If you have any hobbies, get stuck into those! If you don’t have any hobbies, then find a new one! Learn about something new, or something that you’ve always been interesteded in. And take care of yourself! I know it’s hard, but remember to eat! And try and sleep properly, I know from experience that that’s the thing that’s hardest when you’re heart is broken… Take long hot relaxing bath with candles or aroma therapy oils. Get a new haircut or dye your hair!Just give it time. I know it's hard. ~Rachael

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Anonymous asked:

I am so sad right now. My boyfriend's employment pass application got rejected by my government cause his boss told him that my government is tightening the inflow of foreigners in my country and I don't know what to do. He went depressed mode and has been crying non stop and I feel really upset with all this system and its really ridiculous and I can't even think well :(

I'm so sorry to hear this, that really sucks. Is there a way you can see if you can move to his country instead? Is there an appeal system for him to try?If not, I'm afraid there is nothing else you can really do in the mean time, apart from just be there for each other and try and get through this difficult patch. I truly believe that two people who are meant to be together, will be together, one way or another, even if it has to be a hard road to get there. If two people love each other, they should be able to find a way. Stay strong, and bets wishes. ~Rachael

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Anonymous asked:

Hello! Any tips for transitioning a 'normal' relationship (1 month) into a long distance relationship? Thanks x

Communication and compromise. Allowing time for each other, and understanding when the other either needs you or needs space. Setting up scheduled Skype time can help, Skype dates, watching a movie over Skype. Maintaining your independence is important too, spending time with friends, or even in your own company outside the relationship is healthy, and it will give you stuff to talk about with your SO. Pick up a hobby or night class. Ultimately, take it one day at a time, and do what feels right :) Good luck! 

~Rachael

#Anonymous
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Anonymous asked:

Hi! So, I will be in a ldr soon. I'm really scared of it but my boyfriend is much worse I think. He doesn't really want to talk about it, then again he sometimes says that we will visit each other and that it will be fine but like, I know that. I feel like he is doing this to calm himself more down than me. We've been together for about 2 months now and I don't know what to do to help him since he never wants to talk sincerely about it.

LDRs are tricky I aint gonna lie to you about that. The thing is, you can't reeeally make him talk about it and how he's feeling but maybe if you brought up how you feel about it yourself and open up to your fears and your...solutions(?) to the fears you're facing, it may help with him opening up. The thing I've learned with LDRs are that they don't ALWAYS pan out the way you want them to, so having incredibly high expectations and leaving no room for flexibility can turn sour. You have to be accommodating to each other's lifestyles whilst at the same time maintain communication and ensure you're open and honest with each other. You'll need to work on that foundation before you enter an LDR, it's easier to have that trust and confidence to make it through from thereon in. So I strongly suggest (if he's not opening up or talking about it sincerely), let him know you understand he's scared but you're wiling to give this a shot. I hope everything works out okay for you :)

-Susmita

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Anonymous asked:

So i have a problem dating. When i meet someone, no matter how great they are, i always fear someone better is out there for me.... I think it's my imagination of the perfect guy along with being so picky. i can't stop! Help?

I just think you need to remind yourself that no one is going to be perfect. Everyone is going to have their own flaws and it is those flaws that make up the person you love. 

You need to just try to get rid of this "perfect guy" imagine in your head, because it is very likely that the guy that is right for you is nothing like you ever imagined he would be! 

Just let things happen naturally; if you ever feel like this is stopping you from being with someone who could potentially be amazing just remind yourself that no one is perfect and Part of loving someone is loving all their flaws

-Emily

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How do I get over my ex ? He and his new girlfriend are plastered all over the internet these days, they’re so happy and it makes me sick i could never make him as happy and that it ended so messily. I was with him last night at a party alone in a room and we had such a nice although kind of weird conversation, he kept mistakenly calling me by his current partner’s name and I can’t help but feel my old feelings are becoming true for him once again, but I have no idea if it’s mutual. I’m not looking to break them up, in fact all I want in this world is to meet a new guy who won’t treat me like he did, to show him I’ve moved on from our break up nearly a year ago. Being single is so lonely, and I feel so stunted because every time I’m into someone they either like my friend or don’t like me back at all. How do I meet new guys? He definitely has me tied right around his little finger once again and he doesn’t even know it.

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I think what you need is to stop looking for another guy and to stop looking in the past with your ex. When you stop looking is ALWAYS when the right person comes along. You just first need to be comfortable with yourself single. You need to learn how to be on your own two feet, alone, and happy with that before you will be ready to be in a good and serious relationship. 

Do some things for yourself. Go out with other friends, pick up a new hobby, work more hours/study more, etc. Do things for YOU, focus on what makes you happy. If you have to, block your ex and his girlfriend from your newsfeed. Don't focus on what other people have and what your lacking, just focus on the things that make you happy.

It is a proven fact that people are attracted to confident people. If you work on loving yourself and focusing on just you, other people will be attracted to that :)

-Emily

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Anonymous asked:

Is it weird to not be turned on by kissing? Like I'll kiss my boyfriend and I like doing it but I guess I've never gotten any sexual pleasure from it. It's kinda bothering me cause he'd have to touch me for me to feel any kind of sexual pleasure:T

Well, no, it's not weird really. I mean there are plenty of A-Sexual people out there who just don't get sexual attraction or sexual pleasure from anything... but, being turned on and getting sexual pleasure are two different things... Being turned on is the sensation of wanting things to go further, enjoying the kiss and wanting more, wanting him to touch you, take your clothes off etc... Getting sexual pleasure from kissing alone is quite rare... I wouldn't worry about it. I mean it's supposed to be enjoyable, but not the be all and end all. ~Rachael

#Anonymous
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Anonymous asked:

Oh! I was so afraid I'd missed the deadline! I just want to say my deepest thank yous for everything you do. I've followed you loyally since before I had a tumblr and even though my ldr finished last december, I still love you guys and wish you all every success in the future

Oh what a lovely message :) Thank you! I'm a bit speechless...~Rachael

#Anonymous
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Anonymous asked:

NOOOOOOOO!!!!! Don't leave, please..........

I'm sorry, but it's what we need to do. We're doing a very sub-par job here as it is, and that doesn't make us feel good. ~Rachael

#Anonymous
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OUR ASK BOX AND SUBMISSIONS ARE NOW CLOSED

We will spend the next week working out the remaining messages. ~Rachael

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Anonymous asked:

I just say your post saying that this blog will be shut down soon and just wanted to thank you all for the advice you have given me. Everything is going so well with me and my ldbf and you ladies had a lot to do with that. Thanks for keeping me sane! Good luck with all of your future endevors

Aw, thank you :) You're very welcome, it has been a pleasure :)~Rachael

#Anonymous
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helpingwiththedistance

SHUTDOWN NOTICE

Helping With the Distance is shutting down! You guys may have noticed the dwindling activity on this blog, and we’ve made the unanimous decision that it is time to shut the blog down. This is because with everything else going on in our own lives, we don’t feel that we can run it as efficiently as we used to, we just can’t devote ourselves to it in the way that we used to. We feel that it’s better to shut things down completely than continue to do a half-assed job with sub-par advice and long wait times for responses. This isn’t a decision that we’ve taken lightly, we have thoughtabout it, and talked it through amongst us. We have all absolutely loved running this blog and helping the many thousands of you with your various problems, and we love each and every one of you… And, yes, it is a shame to let it go, but we just feel like it’s time to move on. We will keep the ask box open until the 24th of January, after that we will receive no more asks or submissions… then we will spend the next week answering any questions that still remain in the ask box at this time, with the aim ofshutting down on January 31st. ~Rachael

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reblogged
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helpingwiththedistance

SHUTDOWN NOTICE

Helping With the Distance is shutting down! You guys may have noticed the dwindling activity on this blog, and we’ve made the unanimous decision that it is time to shut the blog down. This is because with everything else going on in our own lives, we don’t feel that we can run it as efficiently as we used to, we just can’t devote ourselves to it in the way that we used to. We feel that it’s better to shut things down completely than continue to do a half-assed job with sub-par advice and long wait times for responses. This isn’t a decision that we’ve taken lightly, we have thoughtabout it, and talked it through amongst us. We have all absolutely loved running this blog and helping the many thousands of you with your various problems, and we love each and every one of you… And, yes, it is a shame to let it go, but we just feel like it’s time to move on. We will keep the ask box open until the 24th of January, after that we will receive no more asks or submissions… then we will spend the next week answering any questions that still remain in the ask box at this time, with the aim ofshutting down on January 31st. ~Rachael

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ASK BOX CLOSING TOMORROW

Just a breif reminder that we are shutting down the blog, and the ask box will be closing tomorrow. We will then spend the next week answering all the questions left in there, with the aim of shutting things down on the 31st of January.  ~Rachael

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