can we eat yet?

me: i don’t have a type😤😤

also me:

How are penguins not extinct?

I am in tears omg

whoever timed the film to the music is fucking brilliant this is gorgeous and oh my god i know they’re made of a lot of fat/blubber but this gave me like seven heart attacks

Clumsy pillows

I’ve pulled my tshirt up over my face to try and hide the fact that I am crying with laughter on the coach full of people.

that one time on Hotel Hell when Gordon Ramsay fed the owner’s dog some shitty bread and then was afraid he killed her

He checked her pulse

i really wish everyone had good hearts and good intentions for others. honestly.

Can you believe that there are people who live so close to the ocean that they can just think “hey, I should go to the ocean” and then they just do???

give me the look that says “just wait until we’re alone”

“you’re going to have that tattoo for the rest of your life”

woah

really

are you serious

wow i

i had no idea thank you so much bless your soul

hey handsome…………of that money to me

so there i am, depression all over my titties 

I’m so thankful I had a childhood before social media took over

you ever fell in love with somebody like 5 times? like damn, I thought I loved you before but wtf is this next level shit

so the thing about my family is that we have two ancestors on my dad’s side who were buried in france, where I currently live. one died in the spanish civil war, and one died prior doing…we don’t know what. but he somehow managed to get buried in père lachaise. 

so anyhow, my gran sends me a message like “pls put flowers on ur uncle samuel’s grave because he’s gone over a century with none and it will make the ghost mad if he hasn’t already” because my family spends time in europe but never long enough to go all the way to père lachaise and give ya boy samuel jr. his death rites. so im like “ok gran I can do that” bc im a good grandson and you do not fuck with gran she doesn’t DESERVE THAT 

i figure out which plot he’s on and ask someone specifically where you can find uncle samuel jr. and they tell me where and so I arrive at the junction and. 

HE GONE. 

WHERE DID YOU GO UNCLE SAMUEL. 

*celine dion’s smash hit “my heart will go on” playing in the distance* 

in other words either someone stole my entire great great uncle samuel or he has risen again, ready to party in paris for all of eternity. 

You’re pretty chill about a corpse disappearing.

My guy, my dude, he’s been dead since 1851. He could be anywhere. He does what he wants.