Mia

i want to be WOOED!!! i want to be ADORED!!! fuck anyone who says it’s “cheesy” or “a cliche” i want to be ROMANCED!!!

Just learned that there is going to be a live action Barbie movie and I expect two things from it:

1.) For it to be as good as Legally Blonde AT MINIMUM

2.) A scene where Barbie hands in a resume and it’s as thick as a novel

3.) Barbie calls people put on their sexist bullshit and is a femenist icon

4.) Barbie is like Elle Woods and is amazing. e.g “what like it’s hard” type thing

if a girl does that thing where she puts her hand up to urs and is like “wow ur hands are so big!” she is trying to bang u. just a tip to u all

Dismissing Romeo and Juliet as dumb horny teens is OUT, crying because every attempt these children made to show love, kindness and tolerance in the face of senseless hate only led to more violence and death is IN

You’ve heard of Old Friends Senior Dog Sanctuary. Now get ready for New Enemies Junior Cat Battleground.

Dude reading at the library = as one does

Dude reading at the library, frowning, and then taking out a moleskin notebook to jot something down = oh damn this dude is serious. Better not jostle my things around too loudly

Dude furrowing his brow and taking out a second moleskin to flip through before nodding and taking more notes in the first notebook = This dude is planning a fucking heist

tan france gave john mulaney a makeover. you should go watch the full video :)

he really does have feminine hips

Me to my vampire girlfriend: Hows my blood taste? Im a fine wine aint I? Like a smooth mead that you only remember so many millenia ago

My vampire girlfriend through tears: your so salty please

natasha romanoff died a noble, honorable death. she sacrificed herself to save trillions of people. she knew she would die, and she didn’t hesitate. that’s a heroic death. and maybe, MAYBE that would be ok if the mcu didn’t have a history of fucking up their female characters. maybe if pepper wasn’t relegated to wife and mother, maybe if betty wasn’t completely forgotten about after incredible hulk, maybe if jane had more to do than be thor’s love interest, maybe if they gave maria hill an important role, maybe if they didn’t reduce maya hansen’s role to the point that her actress was disappointed with it, maybe if frigga wasn’t fridged to make thor and odin sad, maybe if they didn’t forget that sif existed, maybe if they gave sharon screentime and didn’t put her down in favor of peggy, maybe if they let gamora shine, maybe if nebula had more to do than be tortured on screen, maybe if wanda wasn’t whitewashed and goywashed and didn’t have her powers nerfed, maybe if the ancient one wasn’t whitewashed, maybe if they didn’t completely erase mantis’ backstory and powers and personality to instead make her into a subservient asian stereotype, maybe if they didn’t totally fuck over monica rambeau, maybe if carol had a significant role in endgame like they hyped her up to have, maybe if they didn’t kill shuri offscreen, maybe if they didn’t make peggy into a prize for steve at the end, maybe if nat herself didn’t have that wack characterization and arc (if you can even call it an arc) in aou and had consistent characterization throughout the movies and was allowed to develop as a character and had a funeral and wasn’t constantly sexualized and presented for the male gaze, then maybe. then maybe it would be okay for the only remaining female avenger to sacrifice herself in order for the plot to continue

me, daydreaming: stop - there’s a plot hole

me: whatever, it doesn’t matter, nobody’s gonna see it

me: mmm-buuuut-mmmm-plOT HOLE sToP

continuing to daydream: wait wait wait - spoiler up ahead.

me: we’ve gone through this scene multiple times? we’re just extending to now.

me: let’s go back to how i think we would meet.

me: jesus christ

every fall teenage girls are like.. “oh , im gonna enter a place of business and order a product which is offered by that place of business because i like the flavor of it” and honestly? how dare they. that’s so annoying. why can’t they buy the beverage that i, a smart man, would prefer to drink

Probably because they’re generally indifferent to the flavor of it and rather use it for in group/out group signalling like the giant basic bitch wall-decorations-from-target early childhood education/nutrition hive mind they are.

dude shut the fuck up lol

ok i spend all day with teenagers and am paid to educate them and let me tell you most of my girls may love leggings (comfy) and iced coffees (yummy) but i have never, NEVER, seen thirty of them spend a solid month all playing the same boring goddamn video game or had to pry them off their tablets and phones the day some ugly-ass overpriced sneaker drops try and get a group of teenage boys to all stop making the same fucking meme reference all. goddamn. day. then, and ONLY then, can you talk to me about hive mind

Can you imagine being a middle or high school teacher when Pickle Rick dropped.

worst time to ever be in high school. all the boys ever did was talking about pickle rick and communism.

click

why has sebastian stan not been casted as a disney prince he would be perfect and I would probably die

i don’t think i could have a bodyguard w/o falling in love with them

its so gross to me that there are people on this website who were born in 2001

*cough* YOU GOT A PROBLEM BITCH *cough* ahem no sorry I didn’t say anything

I'm born in 2001 and that also made me uncomfortable