not now, im noticing the pattern

the straightjacket stays on during sex

please don’t hold a knife against my throat and threaten to kill me otherwise i might fall in love

an itch that only blunt force trauma to the back of my head can scratch

you're vague with your threats, i'm direct with my pistol

2006-2008

2009

wtf is a situationship.. don’t ever put me in a situation

me, writing: this sentence is way too long. I need to condense it in a way that makes it grammatically correct while still preserving the original meaning I’m trying to convey

the devil on my shoulder: or, you can add five more commas, a semi colon, three em dashes, fifty more words, and it’ll all come together in a way that’s technically grammatically correct but completely incomprehensible to anyone who reads it, even yourself!

me, writing faster: you’re a genius

Darkness on the edge of town, Christopher Soukup

If you’re a little weird that’s kinda sexy of you

My "stay in the house" game too strong.

you have to admit there are some joys in life that can only be felt due to hardship. a common example is steaming hot showers. it takes a cold day, or a sickness, for someone to experience the joy of a hot shower. you can’t enjoy it in the heat. then there’s the joy of a fulfilling sleep, often achieved through a tiring day. and there’s the joy of a reunion, achieved through separation. and there are many more examples. sometimes difficulty carries a special range of joys and that’s something to be thankful about.