It will forever haunt me that I cannot share this joke with everyone I meet

I will be reblogging this every time it comes on my home page, thank you.

The devastating difference between how much time it takes to write something vs how fast people read it lol

you're falling in the trap!! it will be read by many people, many times, and it will live on in their memories. and maybe no single other human will match you in time spent dedicated to your story, but as a collective we will outlast you. acts of creation only grow when they are shared

This. Writing is not like dinner. It can be consumed many times

rattling away giggling

You’ve heard of one shots, now get ready for none shots! It’s when you think of an idea for a fic and then don’t write it

#not to brag but im so fckn good at this

Our Lady of the Damp and Rain

My boyfriend just woke up, mostly still asleep and told me “don’t worry, it’s getting better” in a heavy, American accent, which is unusual for an Australian man.

“Why are you American?” I asked, to which I got:

“Sorry, it’s getting better” in a stereotypical posh English accent.

“Why are you English?” I asked, amused.

“What is he normally?” He managed to ask.

“He? You’re not anyone else, you’re you.”

“Ugh, me” was the last thing he said, in a right proper Aussie accent before he fell back into proper sleep.

Bitch just thwarted a ghost possession by judging his accents

*places an orange just outside a fairy ring to see what comes out* science is more of an art than a science

*the orange grows legs and skitters away*

Fascinating results *places a banana in the same spot*

*clawed hand reaches out of the ether and drags it into the ring, leaving ragged claw marks in the soil as it disappears, back into the ether from whence it came*

“let’s go to the extreme.” *places a pineapple in the same spot*

Real scientists would keep putting an orange in the same spot to make sure the results are consistent before moving on to other fruits or different spots.

The only valid response to this post.

We’re working up the complexity levels of fruit until we feel there is enough evidence to support the judicious placement of a volunteer twink

You sit down, we haven’t seen what’s happened to the pineapple

This is Tumblr; we’ve ALL seen what happened to the pineapple. O_O

PUNIC WARS THREE

PUNIC WARS FOUR

Every time you add another punic war to this post a time traveller goes back and makes it real for the bit

just found fanfic written on clay tablets in cuneiform and then the pictures were uploaded to ao3 the good omens fandom is insane

this is the fic if you were wondering

THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY. DEDICATION TO THE BIT

EA-NASIR?!

I know the biggest issue I'm going to have with the fallout TV show is that I'm sure at no point the heroes will be walking along when a wrecked car just flies up in the air and then comes crashing down bouncing all over the place. Every time I play fallout 4 I'm just walking along minding my own business when a car just goes mental, honestly I bet there's no realism in this show.

Dealing With Executive Dysfunction - A Masterpost

hey remember when anon asked me if i had any resources on handling the drawing process with ADHD that were similar to stimuwrite and i said nah unfortunately not and then proceeded to badly explain my own copes with the process

the heavens have parted and the resources have fallen into my lap thanks to @justmenoworries reblogging this (thanks pal <3)

though I do see ONE that isn’t mentioned here that I just thought of, and it’s a simple motto that I learned ages ago and have tried to live by since-

The time will pass anyway.

Worried about how much time it will take to learn to draw, write, or pick up any sort of skill that you’re really interested in? Concerned that you’re not ready to take on that project you really want to do because you don’t feel like you’re “good enough yet” to Do The Thing? Borrowing too much grief from the future as you worry you may fail and all your efforts might some day feel like a ‘waste of time’?

The time will pass anyway.

Coño don limpio

mr clean off the shits

am fascinated by the implication that this person thinks that a backflip clean out of his pants and onto a swing would be easier

very well, i shall smoke this “bowl” with you. but take warning! henceforth i may become quite….. silly…

the most life-changing customer i’ve ever had at work was a guy who came up to me and my coworker when we were at cash and said ‘hey kids…. wanna see something?’

and I said sure because why the fuck not, i’m here for a good time not a long time, and this motherfucker pulled a railroad spike out of his pocket.

A GODDAMN

ANTIQUE

RAILROAD

SPIKE

It was a fucking foot long chunk of steel that weighed about five pounds on its own so i was like ‘huh….. neat’

and he said ‘wait. there’s more’ and he took out a screwdriver. inlaid into the head of the spike. ‘things aren’t always as they appear’ he said as he unscrewed the bit and pulled out of this goddamn railroad spike

a statue

a tiny, tiny golden statue stood on the base of this flathead screw. it was a tiny golden man standing next to a tiny golden flower with gemstones in the petals. the whole thing was smaller than my thumbnail is tall. it was detailed enough that the tiny man had facial features. it was amazing.

‘oh my god,’ i said. ‘how long did it take you to make that?’

‘here’s a word of advice,’ he said, ‘never answer that question when people ask it. it devalues your work. you’ll get faster and better at things, and be able to make more art in less time. they don’t need to know about the process, just the product’.

and he left and that’s the one artistic piece of advice i definitely wanna hold to.

don’t tell people how long it takes to make shit.