This was in a book I got today and it’s honestly how I feel
someone created a random generator that creates randomized inspirational quotes overlaid on random images in a soothing fashion and each and every image is comic gold
it’s pretty much the best thing ever and here are some of my favorites so far
so good
I’m getting this one made into a motivational poster for my home office
PLEASE GO MAKE SOME OF YOUR OWN RIGHT NOW
This is way too fun I highly recommend it xD
REBLOG IF YOU ARE SO PROUD OF LUCRETIA
today i got some columbian food in the back of a haunted mall how was everyone else’s day
ok i will tell the tale
so im taking this spanish class, spanish professor wanted us to go out to eat to practice. im all prepared, i punch in the address and drive 2 the place. turns out this place isnt really a restaurant so much as it is a small habitable zone at the back of a vast, empty mall
there was dead silence and darkness. 90% of the outlets were shut down and blocked off
it was 2 o’clock on a Saturday, but this mall was COMPLETELY barren. an air of powerful curses hung in the air. none of the escalators were working, i had to hike up one like stairs
of course once i got to the restaurant i had a nice time and some p good food and a guy with a saxophone serenaded us with covers of pop hits
my freinds, it was surreal
so my plans got really mixed up today and i decided to revisit the cursed mall while i was in the area! it seems things have gotten even stranger
for the most part, it is still the creepy empty mall it has always been. but this time even less stores were open, even the columbian restaurant was closed.
the food court, which was slightly open before, was utterly barren, and for some reason slightly sped-up mexican sounding music played over the completely empty venue
this was a particularly strange outlet, where instead of the remains of a store, there was a neatly set up classroom in the display window
oh
The mall shows u what u need when u need it
Heartbreaking: Hibachi Chef Tries To Make Meal On A Regular Table
“I’ll DM you,” I said.
You sit patiently, expecting a private message at any moment. There’s a knock at your door. It’s me, dressed in a surprisingly well made wizard robe, arms full of books and dice.
“Roll for initiative.” I utter.
for some reason i definitely thought this was going to be one of those fuckin… infinite chocolate things. or like, some really weird trick involved. literally it’s just “put the tomatoes in some dirt and they grow into MORE TOMATOES 😱” which like… yea… that IS how plants work but i don’t know if it’s a life hack
THIS #LIFEHACK IS TOO POWERFUL YOU WILL LITERALLY GET AN ENDLESS SUPPLY
grocery stores hate him! local man discovers gardening
Lifehack: literally just agriculture
Today I learned that cuttlefish experience REM sleep, and that it makes their skin flash random colors. This is the cutest thing ever.
The electric eel at my aquarium has a voltmeter attached to his tank, and whenever he pumps out a burst of electricity–either when he’s navigating his tank or getting fed–the meter lights up and makes noise. Sometimes, I’ll walk past him when he’s snuggled up and totally motionless on his log, and see the voltmeter going crazy.
I am left to assume that he is dreaming, and is sleep-zapping at the things in his dreams.
I am absolutely delighted to learn that electric eels dream of kicking ass.
when your cousin gets infected with a virus that will eventually turn her into a ghoulish nordic horror, but the armored vehicle that she has been slaving to keep alive for the entire comic tries to kill her first by bursting into flames
You can only reblog this today.
IMAX UPLOADED THE MUMMY TRAILER WITH HALF THE AUDIO CHANNELS MISSING AND CREATED 40 SECONDS OF UNDILUTED COMEDIC PERFECTION
There are literal tears running down my face! GOODBYE!
We live in an age where you can press a button and a deep web hitman shows up at your door and kills you. Technology is incredible.
what button
what fucking button
Dan and I bought a thing called “long ziti” from the local Weird Bargain Store, largely as a joke, but…. I have never had a more unsettling pasta experience in my life. They wouldn’t bend enough to cook from top to bottom simultaneously, and while they were cooking boiling water kept spouting out from the tops of them out of the pot, like a boiling pipe organ. Then they were so long and floppy and hoselike that we couldn’t pick them up with anything other than tongs, and then they were so long and unwieldy that it was basically impossible to sauce them without them all slithering out of the bowl like wet snakes. They then proceeded to cool down almost completely within the the seconds it took to walk to the living room. Eating them was like eating a bowl full half melted drinking straws.
Bringing back Long Ziti for another round because it’s just too funny