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I’m so frustrated I could just scream!

@roecomplex :3

it gave her the lisa rinna

Self-portrait by Eric Carle

she creepin on my weirdo til i dont belong here. what the hell am i doing here

picks up an ant by the scruff of its neck

🙎‍♂️joke-maker1994 Follow

there once was a 3 little fish, and one day they found a magical golden clam that granted them each a wish! the first little fish said. make me a dolphin! and it turned into a beautiful dolphin and swam away. the second one said. make me a mermaid! and it turned into a beautiful mermaid and swam away. the third one saw a shark in the distance and said. make me a-- oh fuck! and he turned into a fuck! and got ate! share if this made you laugh ☺️

-3 notes

🖕centaurpussy Follow

your dad pregant with me

12.8m notes

scientist who has spent millions of funding trying to get a bug to lift a dumbell made of a toothpick and 2 blueberries barracading himself in his lab because they've come to shut down his operation, but the bug just started rubbing chalk dust on his forelimbs

a cold slice of watermelon can be so life changing im seeing god and angels

these dont even register as humans in my brain theyre like ugly purebreed prize animals that cant eat food without assistance or theyre get dust in their eyes and die

riddle me this batman…. what has no climax, no point, and no meaning

One time i got sucked up by a ufo im not joking

what happebned

On god they were being super mean to me like they were flicking my head and shit the grey aliens were flicking my head and punching my nose and giving me noogies and shoving me and shit....

I love the concept of exile. Like dude just get out

Melanie Martinez wishes she was Grimes. Grimes wishes she was Bjork. Bjork wishes she was 2 inches tall so she could go inside the computer and have a big adventure