Nosce te ipsum.

I feel like a waste of space. Sorry, it seems like these days I only ever post on here when I'm angsty.

Please don't take this post the wrong way -- I am not looking for attention or to do something drastic. I've had this nagging feeling that has been increasing in frequency over the past year. I can't shake the notion that I won't be around as long as my peers. It's not an upsetting or scary feeling, just kind of like a neutral statement. I don't claim to be psychic or whatever, and for all I know I could kick the bucket in my sleep at 110. Does anyone else ever get this feeling?

365 days sober. I deal with my feelings in a healthier way, have learned to work through them. I know myself just that much better. Nosce te ipsum.

I apologize for how incoherent and ramble-y this is. Let me preface this by saying that I don't believe alcohol is "evil" or "bad." If you can moderate your consumption and be privy to your own actions while under the influence, party on, dudes! I have gone back and forth in my head over whether or not I want to bring this up, but I have ultimately decided to do so. Today marks 364 days sober; the fact that I even had to make the choice/effort in the first place is not something I am remotely proud of. I cannot handle alcohol and don't know my limits. I am weak when I am under the influence. Why am I sharing this with you? Although I don't think everyone does this, I believe that there's a subconscious tendency to compare our day-to-day lives to those we see presented on Facebook/Instagram/blogs/etc. I want to be real and raw with you, to let you know that you are not alone, to let you know that what is presented is not always real, that there is more than meets the eye. We all have our vices and our faults: shame and weakness pervade every individual's life. We should not be respecters of persons and shouldn't dim our self-worth and potential according to what we perceive online. Everyone has imperfections, but it's how you deal with them that counts: look them in the eyes. Get to know them. Change or learn to live with them. Ever feel stupid or untalented or unattractive when looking at those around you? I guarantee that I can recall a moment when I have felt the exact same way, and will share one with you should you need it. Know yourself. Love yourself. Better yourself. I am rooting for you.

And anon, thank you for that message. Seriously. <3

11 1/2 months sober. It's not that I dislike drunk me, per se. I just don't trust her.

I just want it to be January. It’s been seven years, but Christmas and New Years still bring a dull ache. I’ve let go in every way I know how, but the slight sting is there every year like clockwork.

I’ve always believed that there is something to be learned from everything. I did learn a hell of a lot, but sometimes I think that if I could erase this, I would.

Got on medication for hormonal acne and it's making me molt like a tarantula.

Secret Santa embroidery -- cover art from "Commit This To Memory" (Motion City Soundtrack).

GPOY Thanksgiving edition.

@scullytho Aw thanks! They're mostly foam rollers (kind of like the soft spikes Irish dancers used to wear before wigs), but a few are done with a small-barreled curling iron because they came out wacky.

I do myself up nice sometimes.

Fucking around again with treble jig beats. I need to strengthen my ankles…

Another piece I embroidered this summer (mainly in the field, hence the wrinkles). Watch Me Rise, Have Heart.

Embroidering Motion City Soundtrack album art for a Secret Santa present. Question: if I started selling my embroidered pieces, would anyone be interested?

Mucking around to Turnstile. My form is horrible here (haven't been to a class in a year and a half), but this was fun.