imagine being 15 years old and ur dad gets diagnosed with lung cancer and at the same time stops spending time with u and the rest of ur family even though u have never wanted to see him more because u might Lose him. when he talks to u, he's distant and distracted. u try to step up and be more mature and earn his respect by helping out ur mom and drinking like a man and learning to drive, but nothing u do seems to work. he's either gone or looking thru u like ur made of glass. u still love him so much that it turns u inside out, so u step up again and start raising money all by urself to pay for his cancer treatments. but he still doesn't love u. u take care of ur baby sister and work at ur family's new carwash business. u swallow down the hurt that ur dad is too high and weird and weepy to wish u a happy sixteenth birthday just to tell him that u love him and want him so badly in ur life that u will go by any name just to have him talk to u. but he still doesn't love u. he pulls a knife on ur mom. he kidnaps ur baby sister. he disappears and turns up dead in a nazi meth lab. he was a stranger the whole time, but he was always ur dad and u loved him the whole time. u worked like a dog for his love, his respect, his time. and he made u feel ashamed. he made u feel small. he MADE u, he named u after him, he raised u in his shadow. he made u. but he still doesn't love u.
