when ur mom gets mad at u for staying up late

just saw a guy wearing a nirvana t-shirt lmfao i bet cant even name three noble truths of buddhism

i’m the first comedian to tell raunchy jokes

and the last

not funny

sup bro

the instagram fitness community loves sidewalk oats

*hits you with car* “sorry”

*gets hit by a car* “sorry”

(at a gay bar)

a gallon of milk for the lady at the end of the counter, please

the bartender pulls her titty out and gets to work

certified iconic post

walking in a crowded hallway like

three steps to getting things done!

Me, an intellectual (having ADHD):

think

plan

…

…

execute

?

Might be because I’m sleep deprived but this is the funniest shit I’ve seen all day

I’m just here for the distracting heptagram

I have to admit, it’s pretty hypnotic

you’ve summed up adhd

Even though they have no correlation whatsoever 7x7=49 and Thursday feel the exact same.

they be right tho

the fact that “abolish the police” went from a fringe, radical stance that no one took seriously to a national talking point after just 7 days of protests is itself a massive victory. keep pushing.

mater has given dobby a gun

I FUCKING SPELLED MASTER WRONG