well twitter's dead, let's give this another shot

Love the "quality check" portion of the Domino's tracker. I imagine some 14 year old Domino's worker stoned out of their mind doing this for a few minutes

Some wild shit goes on in ppls lives

For everyone who doesn’t spend their time on Reddit, here’s the equally wild follow up that OP referenced in the tags.

A girl of about 6 or 7 was babbling nonsense words at her mom and I thought to myself 'she should be able to form real words and sentences by this age' but then the mom responded in kind and I realized 'oh wait, they're speaking french'.

i never want tumblr to end. this website is like the internet equivalent of a huge mall where you can run around and do whatever you want and there are no laws

no laws? the fuck? i wanna be on the website you’re on. my experience of tumblr is that if you break even a minor law you get executed publicly 

However you are allowed to steal stuff, and if you don’t support shoplifting, you’re transphobic. 

feanorus rex i am not transphobic and i dont steal anything. i dont appreciate libel on here

I was joking. The tumblr ‘shoplifting fandom,’ (Yes, that is a real thing) says that people who don’t support stealing are transphobic bc trans people need to steal makeup to live. 

Simply Don’t appreciate any of whatever you just said to me. Don’t “joke” or whatever you call it here again. Now… godbye

you’ve never heard of the tumblr shoplifting fandom? or their ridiculous justifications? 

^ exactly what i expected. dont feed the Tumblr Trolls people.

The tumblr shoplifting fandom isn’t smth I agree with, but it does exist. (Source 1) (Source 2) (Source 3)  (Source 4)

Here’s a post making the “anti shoplifting= transphobia claim

Your original post mentioned a mall, so I thought of the lifting fandom, and decide to reblog with a satirical comment.

i got juice in my mouse and i cant click the links

Jezebel.com:

rebrn.com:

The Daily Dot

Knowyourmeme:

The ‘anti lifting= transphobic post:

pictures wont load i think my internet is slow. can you reblog again and type out the text from the articles/posts yourself

yeah, the first one says, “It’s too bad that you accused someone of fabricating the tumblr shoplifting fandom, she went and found sources and you panicked and invented progressively more ridiculous excuses.” 

^ so again you prove my point…

it seems pretty convenient that you can’t access any of my sources. just search ‘#shoplifting fandom,’ on here, or is your ability to search some how broken too? 

i dont know why you would say it is convenient. im the one with the mouse with juice in it. it is very inconvenient for me

how are you clicking on anything if your mouse is broken? 

spare mouse

then click on the links i provided? or search, ‘#shoplifting fandom’ on tumblr?? 

hm… not a bad idea… can you post the links again though? my spare mouse does have working clickers but its scroll wheel is totally fried (milk accident) and i can’t scroll up to the links

The tumblr shoplifting fandom isn’t smth I agree with, but it does exist. (Source 1) (Source 2) (Source 3)  (Source 4)

Here’s a post making the “anti shoplifting= transphobia claim

Your original post mentioned a mall, so I thought of the lifting fandom, and decide to reblog with a satirical comment.

i just spilled some olive oil (extra virgin of course, i wouldn’t settle for anything else) on my spare mouse and the clickers just stopped working. could you post some screenshots of those articles or something

What the fuck “I spilled olive oil”

yeah, i use the good stuff. mock me for it all you like.

Something about this feels right

solved the paradox of the ship of Theseus btw!! turns out the answer was “it depends”. hope that helps, have a good weekend everybody!

I wish I could make cats understand the concept of fairness. Of hypocrisy. I wish next time Beatrice was eating I could stick my hand in her bowl and dig around and say "see? Not very nice is it?" And she would say "I understand now father you're right". But instead? Big fat paw in my soup

me and my band of dumbshits on our fuck machines

the propaganda in tv shows does numbers on y’all and i’m not immune to this either but it’s been bugging me a lot lately because y’all will see a character who is a radical who is radically anti-war or radically pro-racial justice or a communist or whatever and you’ll see a character who is one of those things but also inexplicably like, murders a child or whatever and instead of thinking “hey, maybe there’s a reason this show is portraying someone who wants to feed the homeless as an insane monster” you’ll start posting like “i mean technically they were right but i just can’t defend them after they exploded an apartment full of pregnant women” and like. yeah. that’s what they want you to think. that’s why they have those characters do random off the wall shit. think beyond the text please

So cool you dont even have to teach cats to use the litter theyre just born with a passion for peeing on sand

Technology really is magic. I know that’s said a lot but like I’m sitting here looking at one of those chargers that you put your phone on top to wirelessly charge. And today is the first time I’ve really looked at it and gone “truly how the fuck does this work”

Maybe we stress about fantasy worldbuilding too much. We’re like “oh we gotta know the rules of the magic system,” no you don’t. I don’t know the rules of our magic system. If Aragorn, son of Arathorn got hit by a truck that orcs and goblins were driving flintstone style, and he transmigrated into my living room, I would not be able to explain any of the technology around me. I have no idea how I’m making this post. Imagine the first caveman who was like “oh shit the wheel” and I’m nodding along with that cave man. I understand how the wheel can roll. This next sentence was supposed to be about how I can sort of grasp how landline telephones work, but then I thought about it and no I don’t. I am surrounded everyday by mystical forces.

Anyway I have to use this particular charger because this miracle machine’s charging port is fuckin broken again

Don’t even get me started on pharmaceuticals. They are potions and concoctions. I googled “how does Tylenol work” and it turns out the answer is “hmmmm we don’t actually know, but it works” and then I go “cool!” and take two of them

pokemon single moms will raise their child in a quaint neighborhood of three houses and one of the nations leading laboratories

This kind of smart, walkable, mixed-use urbanism is illegal to build in many American cities

God keeps smiting me, and it's a critical hit, every time, but I'm a rogue and I'm using uncanny dodge, and instead of fighting, I keep using my bonus actions to run to fight another day, even though he keeps following me around with that 200 AC.

just discovered the truth of the uchiha massacre at Claire’s