My phone keeps changing it to “Laws and Costumes” and I’m getting unnecessary masquerade vibes every time I look at the Silmarillion.

And then I think about the time Tolkien and Lewis dressed up like polar bears, and I contemplate which two characters would show up at an important event in their best polar bear garb, because I find that very necessary to think about.

Over the course of the past week:

- I hosted a PBS show (teleprompters are fun)

- attended too many meetings

- rushed to the hospital because my dad fell; went home when they admitted him for flu and pneumonia

- rushed back to the hospital in a blizzard when I found out he’d actually had a heart attack

- drove back through the blizzard when the hospital wouldn’t let mom and I stay overnight

- At some point broke up a fight between two possums that were mauling each other over who got to sleep under the wheelbarrow outside (spoiler - there’s two wheelbarrows - and no that was not one of my smarter decisions, but the outdoor cats were going to go investigate, and one of them already lost a their tail over curiosity and yes if I could get them trapped or inside I would but there’s only one sensible one of the three so we’re still working on it, so meanwhile, possum patrol).

- trips back and forth, blizzard number two (or three? Fuck if I know)

- my dad had triple bypass on Valentine’s Day - that has to be lucky, right?

- I wake up sick on Saturday and get diagnosed with bronchitis (so much for masking in the hospital)

Someday I’m going to have time to write some fanfic again, but for now, I’m just glad my dad is a fighter and is recovering — but we’re good on snow here. No more fucking snow necessary.

And no more possums. Possum quota has been reached.

Chapters: 4/? Fandom: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies) Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Finrod Felagund/Meril, Amarië/Finrod Felagund, Finrod Felagund/Thranduil Characters: Finrod Felagund, Amarië (Tolkien), Meril (Tolkien), Galadriel (Tolkien), Celeborn (Tolkien), Thranduil (Tolkien), Gimli (Tolkien), Finarfin (Tolkien), Eärwen (Tolkien), Edrahil (Tolkien) Additional Tags: Unhealthy Relationships, Finrod's past relationships with Meril, Finrod's current relationship with Amarie, Finrod's developing relationship with Thranduil, Finrod is homophobic and doesn't even know why, Valinor is a little more liberal than it was during the First Age, Matchmaker Galadriel, more tags as the story develops, These Elves swear like sailors and I don't need anyone's opinions on that, Indoor plumbing in Valinor because I say so, I'm just here to have a good time, Mimosas are part of Thranduil's balanced breakfast as long as he can balance one in each hand, Felagund with the romance skills of a 7th grader at movie night Summary:

It's the Fourth Age, and Finrod Felagund is poised to become the next King of the Noldor in Valinor. He initially expects that he will have Amarië rule by his side, but it turns out that their problematic relationship is unable to endure through the coronation. Galadriel attempts to play matchmaker.

Chapters: 3/? Fandom: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies) Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Finrod Felagund/Meril, Amarië/Finrod Felagund, Finrod Felagund/Thranduil Characters: Finrod Felagund, Amarië (Tolkien), Meril (Tolkien), Galadriel (Tolkien), Celeborn (Tolkien), Thranduil (Tolkien) Additional Tags: Unhealthy Relationships, Finrod's past relationships with Meril, Finrod's current relationship with Amarie, Finrod's developing relationship with Thranduil, Finrod is homophobic and doesn't even know why, Valinor is a little more liberal than it was during the First Age, Matchmaker Galadriel, more tags as the story develops, These Elves swear like sailors and I don't need anyone's opinions on that, Indoor plumbing in Valinor because I say so, I'm just here to have a good time Summary:

It's the Fourth Age, and Finrod Felagund is poised to become the next King of the Noldor in Valinor. He initially expects that he will have Amarië rule by his side, but it turns out that their problematic relationship is unable to endure through the coronation. Galadriel attempts to play matchmaker.

Chapters: 2/? Fandom: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies) Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Finrod Felagund/Meril, Amarië/Finrod Felagund, Finrod Felagund/Thranduil Characters: Finrod Felagund, Amarië (Tolkien), Meril (Tolkien), Galadriel (Tolkien), Celeborn (Tolkien), Thranduil (Tolkien) Additional Tags: Unhealthy Relationships, Finrod's past relationships with Meril, Finrod's current relationship with Amarie, Finrod's developing relationship with Thranduil, Finrod is homophobic and doesn't even know why, Valinor is a little more liberal than it was during the First Age, Matchmaker Galadriel, more tags as the story develops, These Elves swear like sailors and I don't need anyone's opinions on that, Indoor plumbing in Valinor because I say so, I'm just here to have a good time Summary:

It's the Fourth Age, and Finrod Felagund is poised to become the next King of the Noldor in Valinor. He initially expects that he will have Amarië rule by his side, but it turns out that their problematic relationship is unable to endure through the coronation. Galadriel attempts to play matchmaker.

Dear 2025,

Look, I know we haven't had much time to get to know each other yet, but let's just start with this:

Your older sister was a fucking nightmare of a year.

That's saying a lot considering your even older siblings (2020 - 2023) were handling a worldwide pandemic (and poor 2020 -- there was so much expectation for that fella, so many 20/20 vision jokes that were expected to be funsies and, no, that's not a fucking phrase we talk about anymore because it's still too soon).

From a world standpoint, 2024 was a hot mess. Personally, I'd like to know what sort of sadist year thinks it's totally okay to kill off all four of my pets in one season, send not one but two major weather events to damage the house, garage, and cars, and throw so much medical and illness related bullshit at me that I'm writing this from a recliner I've spent three days in, sick once again, and on top of it, make work a damn nightmare on so many fronts I don't know where to start.

Honestly, the sick at the end of the year really pissed me off. It meant cancelling watch parties for Tolkien trilogies, missing War of the Rohirrim with my Smial, family parties, and not getting to kiss Smaug at midnight (a tradition for almost 30 years). And no end of the year fic writing because I'm pretty useless on creative efforts right now.

So here's the deal, 2025. Years have ups and downs, I get that. But after the last twelve months, if you could be a little kinder, that would be great. And if not that, then way fucking less memorable in a way that is going to take me into 2026 unpacking it all with my therapist would be great.

If nothing else, just please give me some fucking time to write fanfic again.

Chapters: 33/? Fandom: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage Sex Relationships: Erestor/Fingon | Findekáno/Gildor Inglorion/Glorfindel/Maedhros | Maitimo, Fingon | Findekáno/Maedhros | Maitimo, Finya/Maedhros, Glorfindel/Gildor Inglorion, Fingon | Findekáno/Glorfindel/Maedhros | Maitimo, Amarië/Edrahil/Finrod Felagund | Findaráto, Amarië/Edrahil (Tolkien), Finrod Felagund | Findaráto/Thranduil, Thranduil/Thranduil's Wife Characters: Fingon | Findekáno, Maedhros | Maitimo, Gildor Inglorion, Glorfindel (Tolkien), Erestor (Tolkien), Eruglar, Asfaloth (Tolkien), Thranduil (Tolkien), Finrod Felagund | Findaráto, Denethor of Ossiriand, Turgon of Gondolin, Aredhel (Tolkien), Celegorm | Turcafinwë, Littleheart | Ilfrin, Galion (Tolkien), Amarië (Tolkien), Edrahil (Tolkien), Verdev Additional Tags: Gender Dysphoria, Genderfluid Character, Gender Identity, Gender or Sex Swap, Mental Health Issues, Mental Breakdown, Mental Institutions, In-patient Treatment, Legal Drama, Medicinal Drug Use, Elfling, Talking Animals, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Parenthood, Homophobia, Psychologists & Psychiatrists, Harassment, Past Rape/Non-con, Athletes, Therapy, Hopeful Ending, Suicide Attempt, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Bunniverse, Pregnancy, Family Secrets Summary:

Despite the best efforts of Fingon's family, sedatives and positive reinforcement only go so far. Following an altercation which leads to a public trial, Fingon must navigate the trauma of the past in order to move forward. After being admitted into a clinic on Tol Eressea for treatment, Fingon must now confront long-lingering questions of gender identity with limited aid from family and friends.

Follows Peacock in the Bunniverse.

[A clarifier on the warnings: Because this story will delve into the specifics of the multiple times Fingon was raped while a young athlete, I felt it necessary to tag with both rape and underage, since the dates of when things happened and the age he would have been at the time are somewhat vague.]

Podfic: Whatever Betide

I have been dabbling with audio recordings (or as the cool kids say these days, podfics) of some of my stories.

I finished edits on Whatever Betide yesterday. (Summary: Fëanor makes Celegorm and Curufin apologize to Finrod. This was a B2MEM fic from a few years ago, prompted by a discussion that happened in the SWG discord at the time regarding the topic of forgiveness. It has in it an OC I created as Finrod's personal assistant who has some background as a therapist, and also someone who is very unimpressed with the Feanorians -- and goes so far as to analyze Feanor, to his face, in this story. Her name is Salvillë, and the podfic has an intro/forward portion where I talk a bit about her and why I created her.)

Link to the text on AO3, where the link to the audio file is found at the top of the first chapter; the file comes in at roughly an hour and ten minutes, which is now making me rethink this whole audio recording project, except that they are turning out pretty cool with the sound effects and background music:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/38903196