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Im Very Strange Probably

@godiszombie-blog

"Once you adjusted to the leather studded harnesses, latex body suits, and ball gags that adorned a majority of the clientele the whole thing became downright pedestrian." ~I write odd things for a living. Here's one of them.
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sndwave

the funniest thing in the entire pirates of the caribbean series is definitely that one scene in At World’s End where they have parlay but davy jones is part of it, and rather than have him stand in the shallows or something they get a big bucket of water and have in stand on it on shore

who thought of that idea? who thought “put davy jones in a bucket of water” and had the guts to suggest it aloud? and then who went “hey that sounds like a great idea!”

at some point someone told davy jones their idea was for him to stand in a bucket of water and he agreed to it

*stands majestically in a bucket*

ok but notice the trail of buckets behind him meaning he walked from the ocean through three other buckets of water before he got into the one hes standing in

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prokopetz

It’s even funnier when you consider how he must have figured all this out in the first place.

Some folks are asking “well, if he can avoid the no-dry-land curse simply by standing in a bucket, doesn’t that ruin his whole motivation?”, but he’s not on dry land here.

The parley takes place on a sandbar - which, for the unfamiliar, is a temporary “island” of sand deposited by breaking waves, unconnected with the shore, that spends most of its time submerged, being exposed only at low tide.

What Jones is doing here is rules-lawyering his curse. Can you imagine the trial and error he must have gone through in order to determine that this would actually work?

“Okay, do islands count as dry land? How about parts of the shore below the high tide mark? Reefs? Shoals? What if I stand in a pool of water on a shoal? Does it have to be seawater, or will any water do? Does it have to be a natural tidepool, or can it be something artificial, like a bucket?”

What I am saying is that there must have been a process.

Pretty sure that this implies that the reverse - a bucket of sand, floating on the water (big bucket with just a bit of sand), would qualify as dry land. That’s absurd, so I’m pretty sure that his lawyer pulled a fast one over the curse governor.

It may be absurd, but the text of the film bears it out. Davy Jones can sense the presence of his heart while it’s at sea, but not while it’s on land (indeed, that’s why he buried it on land in the first place: to break his connection with it) - yet placing the heart in a simple jar of dirt conceals it from Jones’ awareness just as surely as burial on land does, even if the jar is on a boat at the time. Suitably prepared vessels filled with dirt absolutely count as dry land for the purpose of Jones’ curse.

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smartinis

i remember until i was ten, i spelt ‘satin’ like ‘satan’ and i went to a christian school and they called my parents because i wrote ‘satan is soft like a bunny’ and they wanted the priest to talk to me

Satan is glad you appreciate the effort.

Satan uses Garnier Fructis to lock in moisture.

I JUST LOST MY SHIT

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And the Righteous Man said unto the angel Castiel “When last I was gazed upon in such a manner, the gazer and I became intimate.”

And, lo, did the angel Castiel strengthen his gaze, for this is what he desired.

Chuck 5:18

never let this die

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Signs as beautiful sentences in literature

Aries: "How wild it was, to let it be."
—Cheryl Strayed, Wild
Taurus: "We cross our bridges as we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and the presumption that once our eyes watered."
—Tom Stoppard, Rosencratz and Guildenstern Are Dead
Gemini: "Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it yet."
—L. M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables
Cancer: "Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt."
—Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five
Leo: "If equal affection cannot be, let the more loving one be me."
—W. H. Auden, "The More Loving One"
Virgo: 'Dear God,' she prayed, 'let me be something every minute of every hour of my life.'"
—Betty Smith, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn
Libra: "In spite of everything, I still believe people are really good at heart."
—Anne Frank, The Diary of Anne Frank
Scorpio: "I would always rather be happy than dignified."
—Charlotte Brontë , Jane Eyre
Sagittarius: "It does not do well to dwell on dreams and forget to live, remember that."
—J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
Capricorn: "And now that you don't have to be perfect, you can be good."
—John Steinbeck, East of Eden
Aquarius: "One must be careful of books, and what is inside them, for words have the power to change us."
—Cassandra Clare, The Infernal Devices
Pisces: "There are darknesses in life and there are lights, and you are one of the lights, the light of all lights."
—Bram Stroker, Dracula
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