Do you think Hardison, who is well-versed in fanfiction and fandom tropes, ever stops to look at his life and is just like: omg.
Undercover at a coffee shop? COFFEE SHOP AU. Parker, please let me make you a coffee so we can have our very own meet-cute.
They have to get out of town fast and end up at a shitty little motel. Eliot opens the door and growls. Parker shrugs. Hardison stands on the treshhold, fist to his mouth, and gleefully whispers: there’s only one bed.
Fake dating? He is here for it. Fake married? HELL YEAH BABY they will be so married nobody will doubt their marriedness.
Parker doesn’t understand why he’s so excited about the tattoo shop next door to their clients, a flower-shop being harrassed by a big property developer who wants their building. “Do you want a tattoo?” she asks. No, babe, it’s just this fandom thing… “Oh it’s one of your make-believe about make-believe things.” Um… yeah.
Stuck in a snowstorm? Not as great or as sexy as fandom made it out to be.
Hardison meaningfully saying: and they were roommates and being annoyed that nobody answers.
He’s still waiting for the ‘undercover as a stripper’ episode. He’s ready. For whoever it is. He has outfits. He has nipple tassles. He has the whole Magic Mike choreography down just in case it’s him, okay?
That time Parker steals an entire busload of orphans through the power of Haagen-Das and he’s like: this is not how Accidental Baby Acquisition Fics usually go but okay, that’s cool.
Hardison saying Eliot shouldn’t try and seduce someone to get information out of them, because ‘Sam will kill him if he tries anything’ and everyone being like WHO THE HELL IS SAM.
Giant Fandom Nerd Hardison living his best fandom life, okay?