Bare your blade and raise it high

Are there any redeeming qualities about sword and shield?? Like at all???

a sword allows for quick blows while a shield can deflect projectiles and some attacks.

I knew some dumb mother fucker was gonna reblog this about the art of combat. Blocked and unfollowed.

shot for my beliefs. bled like a dog

sorry i got scared by the passage of time. can yuo hold my hand

hello two thousand people who saw my post. we are all holding hands and braving the passage of time together

the handmaiden

I’m sorry milord, but the peasants are nailing erotic artwork of you and your court jester to the church doors again

and the ship name, squire? what is the ship name

“… Kinglebells, m'lord.”

ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to run low on storage space

unfortunately the awful little freak everyone hates has saved the world so now we all have to try to be nice

sometimes a story is about gay sex because there is no gay sex. sometimes a story revolves around the gay sex that is not happening

we're having sex and you pull out at the end to discover your cock is entirely gone, dissolved (ive digested it like a pitcher plant). bye!

You'd unfollow me for my pitcher plant pussy post? After the beautiful night we shared???

WASNT A BEAUTIFUL NIGHT. PESIS IS GONE.

your honor my client should be at the club

i know what you’re thinking. ‘thank god this tumblr user isn’t an actual licensed attorney’. well bad news kids

Black Friday is such a joke nowadays. “Don’t miss out on 30% off” don’t piss me the fuck off. People used to hit each other over the head for a microwave that’s how low the prices were. People literally died. We used to be a country

having to come to terms with the fact that love is not an everlasting performance in which you attempt to retain the attention of your significant other but rather a release of control and putting faith into them and trusting them to choose to stay with you no matter what you have to offer

to love and be loved is to rest

aye can i get uh………ingredients on my burger

beetroot?

you want beetroot?

you want fucking beet root?

ingredience