Dance of the Rats oil on canvas by an unknown Flemish artist of the 17th century

declaring “this is the bad place” every time you are even slightly inconvenienced is peak humor

It’s what Eleanor Shellstrop would have wanted

A forgotten god cannot run my life any worse than I am currently running it myself.

Bog mummy take the wheel

concept: a game called “john mulaney or cecil palmer?” where you have to guess if a quote was said by popular stand-up comedian john mulaney or fictional radio host cecil gershwin palmer

this might sound easy, but please keep in mind that john mulaney has said “whoa, that tall child looks terrible! get some rest, tall child! you can’t keep burning the candle at both ends!” and cecil palmer has said “alligators: can they kill your children? yes.”

John has said “🎶Because we’re Delta Airlines, and life is a fucking nightmare! 🎶” and Cecil has said “Delta Airlines, because it’s not like you’re safe anywhere else.”

A concept: John Mulaney is a former radio host from Night Vale

John Mulaney was an intern everyone thought died but instead he just got moved into our dimension

these 3 characters have a combined IQ of 1

@psychtaxi you understand

There were dragons when I was a boy

end of the year mood

This is funnier the earlier in the year it’s blogged.

EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHO REBLOGS THIS WILL GET THE FOLLOWING IN THEIR INBOX.

AND YES I MEAN EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHO REBLOGS THIS.

one of the weirdest ways that language is evolving in response to the internet is that “bad words” just. do not have the same impact anymore. i constantly forget that some people think ‘fuck you’ is a terrible insult

so threats and insults have to start getting really out there if the person wants to even mean anything. if a person told me to die i’d shrug it off but if i opened a post’s tags and saw “op i will sneak into your house and replace all your shoelaces with cooked pasta” do you know how shaken i’d be? do you know how upset i’d be if i saw “op is the personification of the look you share w other people in the grocery store when some dude is causing A Scene™ for no reason”

So you are saying English curses on the Internet are becoming more like Yiddish curses?

I sincerely hope so but I can’t say I’m familiar with yiddish curses and i am begging you to tell me a few

My Personal favorite is:

“May all your teeth fall out, except for one, to give you a toothache.”

“OP is a complete onion.” (their head is in the ground)

“I hope I have the privilege of sewing your shroud” is another one I like.

“May you have a hundred houses, with a hundred bedrooms each, and ten beds in each room. And may the plague throw you from one bed to the other”

“May your death be sweet. Run over by a truck full of sugar”

“May everyone congratulate your widow at your funeral”

Prof says he'll grade students on a curve, so they organize a boycott of the exams and all get As

Johns Hopkins Computer Science prof Professor Peter Fröhlich grades his students on a curve: the highest score on the final gets an A and everyone else is graded accordingly.

Clever students in Fröhlich’s “Intermediate Programming”, “Computer System Fundamentals,” and “Introduction to Programming for Scientists and Engineers” figured out that this meant that if they all boycotted the exam, they’d all get As.

So they organized a boycott, milling around the hall outside the class where the exams were being sat, sternly reminding each other that if no one sat the exam they’d all get straight As, ignoring Fröhlich’s pleas to come and sit the exam.

Fröhlich praised his students’ solidarity: “The students learned that by coming together, they can achieve something that individually they could never have done. At a school that is known (perhaps unjustly) for competitiveness I didn’t expect that reaching such an agreement was possible.”

https://boingboing.net/2018/04/24/hang-together-or-hang-separate-2.html

Who will ride or die with me this hard

I love that even the professor was like, “YES! They did good!”

oh, sure, when SPIDERMAN leaps from rooftop to rooftop, performing death-defying extreme parkour stunts as he swings through the city, he’s “a hero” and “protecting the city”, but when i do it i’m “illegally trespassing on private property” and “a menace to society”, THAT’S how it is, huh,

peter parker said this in civilian clothing

yours is the only funny and correct addition to this post

A prodigy

You missed the best part. They weren’t even their sheep. This good pupper gathered up a bunch of random sheep it found somewhere on the countryside and brought them home for its human.

*whispers* the countryside is full of free sheep

okay…… good night mom………….,,