we talk a lot about ohhhh what if my calling is to be the greatest mammoth hunter ever and I'm wasting my talents in the modern era but we never think about what if Thog from 30,000 BCE was the only person ever born who could get a sub-7min Donkey Kong Country any%, and he never got the chance. what about thog

hey everyone its april fools. but dont worry i dont have anything planned. just going to sit here and...

I LIED !!!! GET PRANKED

POST BELOW ME GET FUCKING WET

Hey guys! Check out this block of pure sodium that I got!

Roasted chicken, ginger, daikon, shiitake mushroom soup with lime, cilantro, broccoli sprouts, and rice noodles

Thank u for this contribution

Souphelia

OPhởlia

*gasp* THE BEEEEEEEANS

first time I ever went to the animal shelter and picked out my own animal was surreal. we had so many animals growing up but we never picked out any of them. and sure that’s normal for cats. they just showed up and we adopted them. but it didn’t end there.

we had a ball python because my mom was on a walk with her friends, saw it on the ground (this was Ohio) said “woah! that’s not native!” and put it in her purse. we advertised but never found the owner so we kept the purse python.

we ended up with a corn snake during a hurricane because my mom went out to get one of the cats and the corn snake was so little it came blowing through the air like a branch and my mom reached out and grabbed it out of the air to save it.

actually the point of this post is lost because I typed this far and realized the universe was maybe just sending my mom snakes specifically.

Was it a plot hole? or was it a part of the movie you didn’t pay attention to because you were on your phone?™

Customer: NIER AUTOMATA. VIDEO GAME DMV: 2 BLUNTS 9 SLUTS

Verdict: DENIED

They were cooking with this interpretation actually

not to add directly but

the cali dmv is so funny to me

banned from the clock app for making too many alarms. you set too many alarms girl! banned from clock app.

thing that happened to famous singer-songwriter andrew hozier-byrne

this is a bug

Creature that looks like it was made by a tumblr poll where 40% of people voted “eye” and 5% voted “leg”

It's a mouse-deer, the smallest hoofed mammal in the world. They live in tropical forests in Southeast Asia.

We call them 'Kancil' in Indonesia and Malaysia. They're the main character of many of our traditional fables (typecast as clever/sly lil bastard)

So, so gratifying to know that the ecological niche and the folklore role are shared for both rabbits and mouse deer. Guess you gotta be slick to be a tiny thicket herbivore.

Little old Italian lady: Do you have zucchini?

Me: Yes, right here.

Lady: Is how much?

Me: $2.99 a pound.

Lady: It's usually $1.49.

Me: Yes, in the summer.

Lady, pauses, then grabs two: I put it in a soup.

Me: Oh nice, what kind are you making?

Lady: You will not fantasize about my soup.

And then she walked away. "You will not fantasize about my soup" will be in my head forever. I love you, little old Italian lady.

the way being employed keeps you from video games and other various activities is so sick. genuinely demonic

“oh just do it when you come home” i am dead. “oh just do it on your days off” i am bearing with getting reanimated. after being dead throughout the week.

Unrestrained summer fun

youtube what

my cat stopping me from petting her

her swift maneuver, for context