Its been a long time. Its been a really long time since its been this bad but it crept up on me. Ive known for a while now that i have not been okay but I thought by throwing myself into work I could get through it. Turns out that spending every waking hour at a job you barely tolerate trying your best for other people and not taking care of yourself in order to do that "better" is a really good way to overload anything resembling an abilty to cope. I can't manage it anymore. Ive had no less than 6 coworkers ask me if im okay because they can see in my eyes that im not. My entire life my only effective coping mechanism has been to maintain control of my emotions, keeping them in check and keeping a happy functional face to show the rest of the world. If i can fool everyone else into thinking im fine, it really cant be that bad right? Its not working anymore, everyone can tell except me. I deluded myself into thinking i was fine to the point that everyone in my life knows that im on the verge of falling apart except for me. I dont know what to do anymore. I am so, so, so tired.

princeofturtles

Obligatory 4/13

Merry Homestuck. We are all still trash. You cant escape.

princeofturtles reblogged

four-leafedclover

hatingongodot

I finished putting together the Irish-American heritage month display and Jesus CHRIST there are so few books about Ireland in our collection?? Once more, I must say:

hatingongodot

Oh and for the people who asked me last time what "a lot of stuff" entails

hatingongodot

How the FUCK did I forget this

princeofturtles reblogged

twilightobservationtower

steviemcfly

I honestly don’t understand why there aren’t more people who, when given the platform to discuss minimum wage, don’t simply distill it to the simplest of facts:

A forty hour work week is considered full time.
It’s considered as such because it takes up the amount of time we as a society have agreed should be considered the maximum work schedule required of an employee. (this, of course, does not always bear out practically, but just follow me here)
A person working the maximum amount of time required should earn enough for that labor to be able to survive. Phrased this way, I doubt even most conservatives could effectively argue against it, and out of the mouth of someone verbally deft enough to dance around the pathos-based jabs conservative pundits like to use to avoid actually debating, it could actually get opps thinking.
Therefore, if an employee is being paid less than [number of dollars needed for the post-tax total to pay for the basic necessities in a given area divided by forty] per hour, they are being ripped off and essentially having their labor, productivity, and profit generation value stolen by their employer.
Wages are a business expense, and if a company cannot afford to pay for its labor, it is by definition a failing business. A company stealing labor to stay afloat (without even touching those that do so simply to increase profit margins and/or management/executive pay/bonuses) is no more ethical than a failing construction company breaking into a lumber yard and stealing wood.
Our goal as a society should be to protect each other, especially those that most need protection, not to subsidize failing businesses whose owners could quite well subsidize them on their own.

reagan-was-a-horrible-president

Wages are a business expense, and if a company cannot afford to pay for its labor, it is by definition a failing business. A company stealing labor to stay afloat (without even touching those that do so simply to increase profit margins and/or management/executive pay/bonuses) is no more ethical than a failing construction company breaking into a lumber yard and stealing wood.

jadedamber

Always reblog.

princeofturtles reblogged

ichor-nectar

zhimaqiu

And this is tiktok we need

75% of the time if something is paywalled, fucking around in developer mode looking for a link to the real thing or finding and deleting the content blocker works like a charm

also if ur lazy like me or just straight up cant figure out how to do this without deleting 90% of the page theres this extention called Poper Blocker which not only.. blocks popups. but also has this thing called “Remove Overlay” when u right click which works a good 99% of the time in my experience in getting rid of paywalls.

princeofturtles reblogged

eternally-soft

scottishtwitter

princeofturtles reblogged

tyleroakley

anxietyproblem

princeofturtles reblogged

junkirat

programmerhumour

Sad encryption noises

princeofturtles

Oof that was a lot of feelings last night. Im not normally that talkative about my like emotions and I think thats an issue. Ive been withdrawing from all my friends for like almost a year now and pretty much only talk to my fiancee. Thats not her fault or anything, im very single minded and tend to lose myself in relationships in the sense that they kind of become my singular focus. I know thats not necessarily healthy especially since I have like, smothered all my other relationships in attention to the point of being obsessive, including friendships. I dont know why im like that. Why i cant just have a regular friendship where there are like normal boundaries and I have my own life outside of that relationship. Its always either me being all in to the point where its annoying and intrusive or I go through the effort to become friendly with someone and then I just kind of give up for some reason. Its not any of my friends faults, I guess im just kind of a piece of shit like that. I dont really have a coherent reason that i can put into words but i guess the closest thing is that I dont want to bother them? Like i get really invested to the point where all I do is exist around people and then the first time they show any disinterest or inconvenience with having to deal with me I convince myself that they hate me, are tired of me, want nothing to do with me, and that i should just leave them alone. Which I know isnt like, empirically true, like sure they might be annoyed with me in that instance but that doesnt mean they wish i would just drop off the face of the earth. I guess its some weird combination of needing constant attention and then at the same time feeling like im totally undeserving of that attention. And then this happens. I sit here wallowing in the fact that i dont have any friends instead of just like, fucking talking to the friends that i definitely still do have and whos feelings I am probably hurting by just dropping off the face of the earth because, again, dysfunctional piece of shit.

princeofturtles

I feel like im slowly losing control. The finish line is so close and I keep losing steam. Every time I take a step forward i get more and more exhausted and it never seems to get any closer. Thats all very metaphorical but suffice to say I feel like im falling into a bad place I have not been to in years and im so scared that im going to ruin everything. I feel the walls going up and this time there isnt anyone to save me from myself. Im too irresponsible to have the free will to just do whatever I want. It feels like im an idiot kid playing with matches and im going to set myself on fire. I feel alien in my own head, like there is some other person piloting my body into a ditch. It doesnt help that im self aware. If I didnt know what my shortcomings were, i could at least feign ignorance to the trainwreck im about to cause, but i do know whats happening. Im letting the broken awful part of my brain be in control because I cant work up the energy to just deal with my problems as if they are not miniscule. The issue is that they are not going to be miniscule for much longer. They are very quickly going to snowball out of control if I dont do something about it but i just feel like i cant. maybe it wouldnt be a problem if i could just scream or cry or do SOMETHING to let it all out but after so many years of stopping myself i cant even do that, and at this point it would pretty much be a full blown mental breakdown. i want to cry. i just want to let myself be sad but every time i feel my chest get tight and my eyes start to hurt from the pressure of it all i stop myself and i just cant get over the fucking hill in my brain to let me feel something. i just want to feel something, anything other than the feeling that everything could come crashing down around me at any moment, anything other than the need to cover it up with distractions and caffein and nicotine and alcohol. I feel like a fucking prisoner in my own mind and body and im so tired of feeling tired.

princeofturtles reblogged

istoleyourboredom

Don’t have kids if you’re traumatized and it’s going to get in the way of raising a kid safely and healthily and not in a way that’s also gonna traumatize them in a different way. And don’t have kids if you think it’s going to “heal yourself through the purest form of love” children and their childhoods aren’t your guinea pigs to experiment with for your own healing

Wait. Um. Excuse you? 🤨

I think op was pretty clear? Don’t have kids if you’re not in a place mentally where u can give them a healthy childhood. Traumatizing ur kids won’t fix your own trauma, all it’ll do is create more traumatized people. Children are people and u can’t just use them as some sort of fun project to get over your own issues

Sometimes breaking the cycle is not having kids

princeofturtles reblogged

hype-daydreams

hapalopus

Pros of having ADHD:

Can track prey for hours without losing focus
Special interest: basket weaving
Always fidgeting - banging rocks together and discovers flint-knabbing
Distracted by berries
Stimming by making noises, discovers the sksksk that lures out squirrels
Can't sleep at night, great at guarding the cave while family sleeps
Sensitive senses means discovering and refusing to eat rotten/poisonous food
Sees bird eat nut - impulsively tries it too and discovers that nuts taste good

Cons of having ADHD:

Can't do homework
Impulse buys
Can't use a calendar
Can't sit still in classroom

smute

born in the wrong generation

specificfuckery

lyrapuppy

Well fuck

princeofturtles reblogged

damselwrites

Color Synonyms

White

also: pale; blanched; sallow; pallid; waxen; spectral; translucent; albino;

Grey

also: dust; stone; pepper;

Black

also: coal; slate; dusky; ebon; shadow; murky;

Tan

also: flesh; khaki; cream; tawny;

Brown

also: henna; russet; sepia; chestnut; cocoa; drab; bronze;

Red

also: terracotta ; rouge; carmine; fire-engine; ruddy

Orange

also: pumpkin ; rust ;

Yellow

also: sunny; amber; saffron; hay; straw; platinum;

Green

also: viridescent; grass; jade; forest;

Blue

also: turquoise; cyan; ultramarine; royal; aqua; aquamarine;

Purple

also: berry; amaranthine;

Pink

also: flushed; candy; cherry blossom; petal pink ;

—– source: http://ingridsundberg.com/

—–additional synonyms added by me

ibunnyreuni

I will forever cherish this post. I’ve seen it a multiple of times; how foolish of me to not reblog this masterpiece the first time I see it UGH

:000 pretty

Also useful!

petermorwood

This colour - or color - chart has rung a bell in the oddest way.

Its second row from the bottom of Pink includes “taffy”, which prompted a “What?” and a quick Google search to find out why it was there and not in the Tan or Brown section.

I’ve been married to an American - @dduane - for more than 30 years, and in all that time it’s never crossed our minds for me to ask or her to say that “taffy” isn’t just the US-variant spelling of “toffee” (which IS tan or brown) and is actually more like “Opal Fruits / Starburst” chews.

“Taffy pink” is an official colour, though there several variations and no official Pantone shade or code. “Toffee Brown” is a colour name as well, with just as many variations as Taffy Pink depending on whether it’s car paint, hair tint or fountain-pen ink.

This is one version of what I think of as “Toffee”.

But the more usual version looks like this, sometimes called “The Dentist’s Friend”, because if you have a loose filling or wobbly tooth a solid bite onto one of these may well relieve you of the problem before you get unstuck.

princeofturtles

We largely just refer to individually wrapped toffee candies as caramels. At least for me, the word toffee invokes more of an image of like peanut brittle.

princeofturtles reblogged

demi0123

woulddieforperrytheplatypus

I…

I’m so happy for Dan

princeofturtles reblogged

poptart42

nealashitposts

There's a lot of accidental anti-semitism in the world , but sometimes I come across the deliberate and malicious anti-semitism im DND and I'm just reminded that no matter how much I love this game it does not love me back and the original creators never wanted me to play it.

Today's example is: Phylactery

In d&d:

In real life

That's right. they named the evil artifact that the evil undead spellcaster hides their soul in after a Jewish ceremonial object.

GIF by sooper-dee-dooper-natural

nealashitposts

Actually I want to add something because the genius of this particular kind of anti-semitism is that most gentiles won't know what a Phylactery really is, The only people who will notice are the Jewish players. Making them instantly feel isolated, alone, and unsafe in their d&d group.

when you come across that you should at the table paralyzed wondering

Do my fellow players know this is anti-Semitic?

If they don't know and I bring it up will they be mad at me for ruining the fun?

If they do know and I bring it up will revealing myself as Jewish be dangerous?

It's a tactic to deliberately push Jewish people out of the game. and nobody jump up to tell me it was an accident because it fucking wasn't. Before d&d Phylactery only had one definitionand I find it impossible that they would know the word without knowing the meaning. Or at least knowing it was Jewish.

bluenos3

Holy shit can this post fucking disappear from my dash please!

Attention goyim: Jews don't use the word phylactery. That's stupid and greek. They're called Teffilin.

I don't know why articles everywhere say that this is what The Jews™ call their Weird Little Prayer Boxes, but we don't say that, and it's not even a super common aspect of prayer (at least where i'm from) and i wish y'all wouldn't pretend to be offended at this. No jew calls Teffilin phylactery, when i first saw this post i even tried finding out if anyone i knew said phylactery, and they all looked at me like i was a dumbass. We don't need your fake outrage, and I SEE YOU FUCKIN GOYS IN THE NOTES PRETENDING TO BE JEWISH AND FEEL ALIENATED! GROSS! This is a non issue, dispel it from your mind and stop spreading this horseshit!

aintlikethatnow

I was going to let this slide as someone making an honest mistake, and that you can never be too cautious around antisemitism, but then I find out that OP lied about being Jewish for this post and frankly that’s just pathetic to the point of hilarity.