you were red and you liked me because i was blue da ba dee da ba die

If I had a dollar for every time Donald Trump said something stupid, I’d have a small loan of 1 million dollars.

that would b because girls are only taught to sew and churn, whereas the boys are taught letters and how to skin an animal in the field

This is 2016 wtf

NOT A LOT OF GIRLS CAN READ?!?

There is a reason why their national anthem is named “O Canada.”

Liking a villain character is cool but it also sucks ass cause there’s always ppl that are like ‘aw no precious baby did nothing wrong UWUWUUWUW’ like no asshole they’re bad that’s why I love them leave me alone

Chris knows how to comfort a friend. *touches boob, touches knee*.  

Me as parent

Like… Did Reese Witherspoon literally have a baby with herself?

So we can all agree that Reese Witherspoon has mastered cloning, yeah?

I’m working earlier and this guy comes in and seems anxious. We usually wait until people need help to ask, but he comes over and tells me, “I’m cosplaying Bowser and need spiked wristbands.” I immediately start heading towards the jewelry / accessories and try to strike up some friendly conversation

 I respond, “Ah, cool. You doing NonCon at all?” remembering that our local convention is this coming weekend.

He looks at me super seriously and replies, “no, my friends and I are going go-karting downstairs and we’re all dressed up as Mario Kart characters.”

Retail, although very rarely, has its perks.

Jic case you thought I was lying

Sometimes, the world is so full of beauty…

Dad, just because it got hit by lightning that time doesn’t make it electric!

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Calculus

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Algebra

Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Theorem

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Analysis

Harry Potter and the Order of Operations

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Statistician

Harry Potter and the Deathly Algorithms

OH MY FUCKING GOD

AND THE ORDER OF OPERATIONS

I’m in Dumbledores math club…

More like Harry Hypotternuse.

You’re a mathemagician, Harry.

THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY?????

If You Find One Of These Bizarre Egg Sacks In Your Back Yard, Try Not To Panic 

I’m not saying that it’s aliens, but it’s aliens…

The devil’s fingers fungus begins life inside of a sac, so this is what they look like before they’ve fully matured. 

They secrete a smelly, sticky ooze to attract flies so they will become covered in it and disperse their demon spores.

All I can see now is:

#he was probably like 20 in this

how punk am i??? *steps on crack* why don’t u ask my mother’s back

QUIT LEAKING THE SUICIDE SQUAD SCRIPT