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insp. ( requested by anonymous )
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this time i’m not leaving without you
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Favorite Amelia Shepherd scenes
“You coming?”
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you taste like whiskey when you kiss me. I’d give anything again to be your baby doll.
The only man I’m gonna serve my whole life…
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Never Too Late (’Til It Is) || Amelia & Ryan
The escalation in her tone was unplanned and caught her off-guard almost as much as it did Ryan, but she had no choice except to go with it. She was angry. She was angry for all he had missed and all the broken promises. It wasn’t fair, and it certainly was not okay. The shock in his voice did nothing to deter her agitation, and she practically growled her response.
“Our son, Ryan. That boy upstairs. The sweet, innocent little boy who never got to have a father because he was off God-knows-where doing drugs–” Low blow, and she knew it, not to mention hypocritical. Her rant halted and jaw tightened, averting her gaze for a moment before forcing it back to his. “I’m sorry. I didn’t– I just wanted you there. And I guess I didn’t realize how much until now.”
Her blow came as a shock to him... after all this.. she spoke to him just like he was any other druggy. A low life. “I had nobody. My whole life I had nobody. Until I had you. Trust me, giving you up was harder then giving the drugs up. I would not have done it if it wasn’t best for you. I.. I love you Amelia, everyday since I met you, I’ve loved you.... But I guess the question is now... Do you still love me? && is it enough? Because I’m here now... and I’m not going anywhere. ” Unless she wanted him too.
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Amelia swallowed, her heart beating miles a minute inside her chest. Brows stitching together, she let out a breath. “You don’t have to be alone.” She shook her head, willing too much of any emotion to disappear from her expression. Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe it was all just too much of a mess. Two addicts who lost a child – a spiral was all it could ever be. But maybe not. And maybe she loved him too much to give up.
“You don’t ever have to be alone again.”
He was scared, not for himself but for her. For what his influence would do to her. If their past could truly be their post or if it would just become their future once more. Reaching out Ryan grasped her hand, his stomach twisting in all sort of knots. His gaze still trailed else where as his voice came out in a hushed tone.
“You.. You don’t.. I don’t have anyone...&& You don’t have to be that somebody out of pity. I love you too much to let you do that for me.”
"Are you bleeding!?"
"Really-- I’m fine it’s noting but a scratch."
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You’re the woman of my dreams Dr. Shepherd
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“You really still want four – even with our little monster troublemaker running around?” Chris was a sweet kid, and he probably wouldn’t hurt a fly, but he was a little too much like his parents when it came to finding new ways to get into mischief.
“I really want four. Not only because I want more kids.. but because.. that number.. four kids. You and that goal was what got me clean, got me through each and everyday in rehab with you. Every-time I had a craving-- I thought about our four future kids-- and that was an even bigger craving then drugs could EVER offer.”
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If happy ever after did exist, I would still be holding you like this.
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Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, Carter rolled out of bed and looked out the window towards the ocean. The one calming thing in the city, she thought. It had been a couple months since her little brother had been born, and the same amount of months since he died to save several lives of other little boys and girls. Shaking her head, the teen made her way down the stairs of her aunt’s now empty house. “7 am… Great…” she hummed pulling the carton of juice from the fridge, stopping short when she saw a figure out on the back deck.
“Do you need directions or something?” The brunette asked as she stepped outside, leaving the door open behind her. “You do know that this is private property right?” Carter questioned, crossing her arms over her chest.
It had been maybe a week or so since Ryan had been back and almost 3 and a half months he had kept sober. Amelia and him were still trying to find their way back to each other; if they even could. But despite that, Ryan was in her life now, them having a child together and all made that a sure thing.
As usual Ryan wandered out in the back, expecting to turn around to see Amelia but instead seeing a smaller figure.
“You must be Carter,” Hands shoved in pockets, he shifted a little as he drew closer with a softened smile. Holding out one of his hands. “I’m Ryan.” Not sure if Amelia had told the young girl about him.
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“Well, I think it’s going to be a girl. One of each,” she grinned, nuzzling into Ryan’s chest. “Chris is going to be an amazing big brother.”
Grinning ear to ear Ryan leaned down to press a quick kiss to her lips. “One girl and one boy. Then we’ll be half way there.”
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Never Too Late (’Til It Is) || Amelia & Ryan
“The redhead has a name,” she muttered with a little too much bitterness. It was far from the point, but Amelia couldn’t help feeling abandoned – abandoned by the very same man who only days before had made the promise he would never leave. She folded her arms across her chest, leaning back against the cushions of the couch. Since when did ‘no time’ mean over a year?
Eyes narrowed in on Ryan, hearing his side of the story in a state of disbelief, uncertain whether to believe Addison could do such a thing – that she could send away her fiance. Too steeped in bitterness, she couldn’t even find it in herself to be proud of his accomplishment. For all these months she had been alone, and she was happy. She and Chris were happy. “Why? Why would Addison do that and not tell me about it? We could’ve been there for each other. We were supposed to be there for each other. We were supposed to get sober together. We were supposed to have a family. You were supposed to be there for the birth of our son.”
The bitterness caught Ryan a little off guard, but he knew he had deserved it after all this time. He had promised her he would never leave, and he intended to keep that promise. But the best thing to do for both of them in that moment was to leave- well at least the best thing for her.
“Addison probably didn’t even expect me too get clean, hell, I didn’t expect me too. Amelia, if I stayed...we would have never gotten out of that spiral of drugs.-” He was about to go in but then her final words set in, leaving Ryan speechless, not sure if he heard that last sentence correctly- his son? “ W-What?”
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Ryan & Addison||Starting Over.
Addison was shocked by what he said.
“Yes, no thanks to you. If you weren’t around she wouldn’t have been around and wanting the drugs! Do you even realize that you overdosed and almost died?! Nothing about this is showing me that you love her!”
Addison was even more shocked by what she said. His words just infuriated her and sent her mouth into a downward spiral. She knew it wasn’t all his fault, Amelia was as much as an addict as Ryan was.
Ryan was never one to get angry easily, usually he was a calm and collected guy and maybe it was just the withdrawal but something definitely set him off. “I didn’t force the drugs down her throat! Hell I didn’t even get half the drugs we took, she did! It was her choice, it was my choice. Just because you can’t deal with the fact she’s doing them, doesn’t mean it’s all on me.”
