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STARSHINE

@mistletien / mistletien.tumblr.com

Ark 18+ They/Them 🍰Femme lesbian.🍰 I like crying over video games and sometimes I write about them
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i think the hardest part about this job is not being able to say What The Fuck

During my sophomore year biology class, we all had to dissect worms. One of the kids in class ate one. A few minutes into the class, the teacher was like, “oh, by the way, make sure not to touch your mouth. These worms are covered in super poisonous formaldehyde.”

The kid who had eaten the work went pale. The kids at his desk huddled around him for a whispered discussion about whether or not he should admit to what he’d done, or keep his mouth shut and hope he survived it. He eventually decided that he did not want to risk death, put up his hand, and very timidly informed the teacher of his little snack.

The poor teacher. She just got this look on her face, like she was considering switching careers immediately. Anyway, she ended up calling 911. I don’t know how things went down at the hospital, but the kid survived.

Right. We’re going to have words about that last tag there.

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tricornking

Okay @gallusrostromegalus I realize you probably just forgot to finish that last tag, but I want to make clear how fucking

OMINOUS

it is that you don’t elaborate what those coroner firing reasons were covering up

Tumblr fucked up the tags, the last one is supposed to read “#Someone finally gave in to temptation and had a little Nibble”

If this isn’t a #WorldHeritagePost it should be.

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I feel pretty upbeat for 5am and I'm trying to physically restrain myself from starting to work on a fic chapter

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I want to learn to animate so I can make a video of k'vira with the "cat, I'm a kitty cat, and I dance dance dance" song

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reblogged
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deamortis66

why does every farming/life sim game have a different fishing mechanic and no tutorial for it. you pull out your fishing pole and click on the water and the next thing you know hieroglyphics are flying around everywhere, there's a timer in the bottom right counting down from 47.4, and the whole screen is shaking violently and flashing red every time you move your mouse

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nyctosaurid

if you don’t know the difference between a hare and a rabbit you’ve never gazed into the cold wild eyes of a hare and known that if it could speak it would speak backwards

Image

Jack Rabbits are North American Hares and they’re the WORST to encounter at night becuase:

  • You all know how big a rabbit is.  Jack Rabbits and hares are much bigger. they’re the size of large cats or small dogs or just-walking-age children.
  • They also like to hang out in gangs of a hlf dozen to over 30.
  • and in the middle of backcountry dirt roads.
  • perhaps they’re dustbathing
  • or blood sacrifce
  • I don’t know because when you come up the road at night because your dog has a tiny bladder and needs to go out at midnight and you have no yard so you’re walking him on the dirt road around your neighborhod because you might aw well get some stargazing in, and you come just over the ridge to see a coven of twenty jackrabbits in the middle of the road
  • and
  • they
  • all
  • stand
  • up
  • not just onto all fours like a proper prey animal
  • No they get up on thier hind legs and don’t just sit but STAND like tiny rabbit-skinned toddlers, wobbing slightly as they stare directly at you eyes shining in your flashlight’s glow
  • …Blood Red.
  • And a chill goes through you on that warm july night because while they’re a puntable size and allegedly herbivores they’re standing and watching you just like people and you are vastly outnumbered.
  • everyone freezes
  • you’re considering your odds aganst roughly 200lbs of Suspiciously Humanoid Hare
  • and they’re considering their odds against you
  • the only sound in the never-ending high desert wind 
  • somewhere in your peripheral vision you can see the streetlights but they seem awfully far away
  • The nearest Jack Rabbit
  • Blinks
  • and takes a single shuffling step
  • forward
  • You area an overdevloped monkey and your prefrontal cortex is capable of some amazing feats but it runs very slowly compared to the reflexes of a rabbit and you’re frozen as you desperately scramble for the appropriate course of action, hands feeling thick and useless, mouth dry and feet imeasurably heavy there’s no way you’d outrun THESE, god there’s a rabies outbreak going around that shit’s not curable-
  • The Dog
  • L U N G E S
  • It’s only the briefest of movements but the animal you’d picked out for his gangly legs and floppy ears and goofy smile is suddenly a dark shape of muscle and teeth and had flung himself at the horrible goblin rabbits faster than mere physics should dictate, appearing in the circle of the flashlight for only the briefest of moments before the jolt from the leash makes you stumble and the light falters
  • The Jack Rabbits
  • Scatter
  • Vanishing into the faintly starlit sagebrush in as so many faint gray shapes that might be mistaken for the dustclouds they kick up
  • Later, you sit on the couch disquieted
  • and you wonder
  • If the sight of the Jack Rabbits standing and studying you was frightening enough to make you yearn for the safety of the yellowed streetlights
  • what must it be like from thier end?
  • what terrifying creature 
  • deliberately ties itself
  • to something so horrible
  • As a Dog?

@gallusrostromegalus that last bit gave me such a strong mental image I absolutely had to draw it

WELL HOLY SHIT.

CONGRATULATE, THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I WAS GOING FOR.

is it ok if I print it out and stick it on the fridge?

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