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this is the best one

5 is like an honorary even number

why does this make sense?

American baking shows: I’M NOT HERE TO MAKE FRIENDS I’M JUST HERE TO CONQUER AND DESTROY

British baking shows:

deleting your vent post 3 minutes after compulsively writing it

in this essay i won’t

The seven deadly sins as vines

reblog to let him know that you love him

oh hi thanks for checking in I’m still a piece of garbage

plankton built his computer wife so he’s also the one who programmed her personality.  plankton made a wife who would belittle and mock him. plankton has a humiliation fetish

Sometimes we have thoughts but we don’t have to share them with everyone and put them out into the world. Just a suggestion.

I burst out laughing and then it turned into weeping

[video: a seal emerges from a hole in the ice to breathe. It yells “Ah! Woo!” then sinks back down]

The ahh was so much deeper and the woo so much softer than i could have expected i love it

This isn’t even satire anymore

i’ve found it, the promised land

having a permanent full time job is you thinking to yourself “so this is really the rest of my life huh” as you come home every single day before using your 4 hours of recreational activity to do nothing and then going to bed