Consider the Lobster

choose your fighter

I learned about most things from my Aunt Lucy. She taught me how to spell my name: W-I-L-L-O-W-D-E-A-N. Willowdean. She also taught me how to like a name like that. My mom being a bit of a celebrity around here just meant she was too busy for me. So my Aunt Lucy was the one who taught me how to say, “yes, ma’am” and “no, sir,” how to look people in the eye, and how to find a keeper in a heap of junk. But most of all, my Aunt Lucy taught me about Dolly Parton. 

Dumplin’ (2018) dir. Anne Fletcher

the other day at work, I met a man who I think was 100% a werewolf. he was very charismatic but in a weird way and it was cold but california cold and he had on a very large fur coat and flannel underneath with a single huge tooth on a necklace? he even had sharp canine teeth that did that thing that anime boys do and poke out a little when he smiled?? I saw him for 5 seconds but he was very beautiful and was buying raw meat.

I failed to mention I work at a pet store so buying raw meat “for your dog” is a perfect cover

i don’t got street smarts OR book smarts. where the fuck did i invest all my skill points

In gay

dignity laugh discord emote

The beginning.

actually IIRC this was the first photo with a specific type of camera or equipment  “cos THE progenative shitlord of  cat memes was Harry Pointer. And around 1870 he decided that Au Naturelle  photos of cats weren’t gonna cut it, and started doing shit like this: 

then he realised HE COULD CAPTION THEM

and thus the dignity of the feline was forever destroyed. 

sluggo!!

Robert Pattinson photographed by Danielle Levitt

It’s Christmas, and we’re in Tartarus.

i would rather rip my own fingernails off than even entertain the thought of dating or talking to somebody in the military or interested in joining the military

joker, ten seconds before disaster 

St. Sebastian tended by the Holy Irene (detail), Nicolas Régnier, 1650

#im not a model i was just martyred like this