get ready for an exuberant summer

mike’s hard past couple of months

me: do you guys like my evil thorned plate armour and bloodred cloak? is the ominous glow of my visor slit too much?

my manserpent minion: it'ssss sssslaying absssolute penisssss, ssssire

my shambling zombie: uuuu 👍

captured gnome i keep in a birdcage: golly gee willikers it's sure some scary!!!

my straight manserpent minion: looks pretty good boss

germany will always remain a very morbidly funny concept to me. large land of sweaty numbers-obsessive woodland beasts who, when given enough resources, make really good cars and, when given more resources, invariably start killing a lot of people

when will we learn

it is worth noting that basically every white american, regardless of preexisting cultural ties, has had the soul of a small german pervert implanted in their cerebellum. this is the source of most archetypically american neuroses. sometimes the small german insists on doing product research for 3 weeks before purchasing a new smartphone (it will get you nowhere, you will buy Something and hate it for 3 months before it becomes a new techno-appendage; you will mourn its loss). sometimes the small german insists on obeying no trespassing signs. sometimes the small german makes one start trying to categorize certain demographics as indefinably undesirable.

it is your duty to excise this bavarian imp from your neural folds as expediently as you can.

other western euro nations are somewhat similarly predisposed to the behavior described in the original post, but the chain of cause and effect is a little more fickle and moody; it's a statistical correlation. however, you could raise a prussian in a plain white box bereft of external stimuli and it'd naturally start using its own various secretions to scrawl cave paintings of a new-model BMW MonsterJamming a crowd of climate protestors

some experts say you may be able to tame the brainkraut and achieve a holistic productive relationship via a sufficiently consistent diet of industrial electronic dance music and sturm-und-drang quasi-medieval sadomasochism, but i wouldnt hold my breath.

Gwat

pretty self-explanatory u can bust out a thesaurus, dictionary, and encyclopedia if it's truly necessary. maybe also read the principia discordia, that might help,

Oh, for sure. I just cant hear you over the electronic dance music playing super loud in my head all the time

Sehr gut.

Attention Wal-Mart shoppers

you are in range of enemy artillery

I was expecting anything but not Bard

hope is a skill

hope is a weapon you are trained to wield

favourite additions

(Above tags written by @mumblesplash)

You cannot hide this in the tags, bestie. This is too lovely to keep a secret.

King of Swords

Reblog this post to transform prev into a frenzied Khornate berserker style blood-rage

fuck w me

fog of war in the grocery store

clicks you. commands you to explore

on it boss

there's cheese in here boss

I just realized that Heavy TF2 was edited into the background of this image.

KING

King

ITS APRIL 13 YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

FETCH ME NEIL