Head Like a Snowstorm

He hadn’t been expecting that. Part of him thought it might be the case, but he still hadn’t expected to have that slight suspicion confirmed.

Slowly, he looks up, meeting the other’s eyes, seeing in them things the same. This all seemed even less fair now. They had already suffered enough, hadn’t they?

There’d already been more than enough ash and death, hadn’t there?

Fate was a real bitch sometimes, a real bitch indeed.

"Zhe only other zhat knew vas Esther—…" Josef murmured, pulling his sleeve back down. God, he was cold. "Only you and her."

Karl follows suit, slipping on first his coverup and then tugging his sleeve back into place.

"…danke. Danke for telling mich. You didn’t haff to."

He feels pretty honored, to be honest, to be trusted with something only one other person had known.

"Zhis actually vill make zhings ein bit easier. Ve understand each ozher, know vhere each ozher is coming from bettah."

"Ja--... I s'ink you are right. As awful as it sounds, I'm almost glad to know zhat I am not zhe only vone writhing in zhe aftermath."

"I have missed you too." Bosko cooed down at the German, taking ahold of the other’s hand and intertwining their fingers as if to offer reassurance to his lover.

"Vhat can yous Bosko do for you to help you feel better?"

"Bitte, just--... Just stay vith me for awhile. I'm cold." The Medic replied with a weak smile, giving Bosko's hand a gentle squeeze. "Keep me varm?"

"Don’t apologize, do not tell me sorry…" Bosko murmured, kissing and nuzzling the German’s face with his own stubbled one. He could understand the loss of one’s own beloved family, and he certainly wouldn’t be mean to his lover just because he was gone a little longer than expected.

"I’m alvays here for you… I am sorry you… You had to go through…"

Josef sighed deeply, eyes falling shut as the faintest traces of a smile warmed his face. “Danke, Bosko… Thank you…” His voice was much softer now, no longer shaky or airy. “I vas worried you’d be angry or—… Or you’d hate me.”

"Hate you? Doktor, do not speak like this, I cannot feel anything but love for you, Josef. Do not think othervise, and yous gettings better is more important than anythings too… Until you ams okay, you feeling better is my only priorities." He replied, giving the medic another a Squeeze.

Josef sighed, giving Bosko a squeeze back. "Gott, Bosko... I love you. I have missed you terribly."

Head Like a Snowstorm

He hadn’t been expecting that. Part of him thought it might be the case, but he still hadn’t expected to have that slight suspicion confirmed.

Slowly, he looks up, meeting the other’s eyes, seeing in them things the same. This all seemed even less fair now. They had already suffered enough, hadn’t they?

There’d already been more than enough ash and death, hadn’t there?

Fate was a real bitch sometimes, a real bitch indeed.

"Zhe only other zhat knew vas Esther--..." Josef murmured, pulling his sleeve back down. God, he was cold. "Only you and her."

Head Like a Snowstorm

"You haff nozhing to apologize for. I understand."

He pauses, looking as if he’s thinking on something very heavy, before giving a soft sigh and a slight nod.

"I… I vant to tell you somezhing. Show you somezhing really, somezhing I haff shared wizh very few. … Can you keep ein secret?"

He’s pretty sure he could- the fact that Karl is here in an unfamiliar RED base at all and not being reported is a sign of Josef’s discretion. But he wants to stress the secrecy of what he is about to reveal.

Josef nodded. “Of course. M-my lips are sealed, I promise.”

"Alright." He takes a few deep breaths and slowly pushes up his turtleneck sleeve past his elbow. And having done that, he peels away a sheer fleshtone coverup sleeve, revealing his bare forearm.

And the numbers marked upon it.

He doesn’t comment- anyone, especially a fellow countryman, would know what they were, what they meant. He hoped it was proof enough, though, that he understood what it was to suffer a terrible ordeal. Why he so wanted to help another who was.

Josef's heart sank down to his feet, breath refusing to enter his lungs for a moment or two. It finally came back in a sniffle and gasp, and left in a drawn-out wisp. 

He rolled his own sleeve back, turned up his wrist, and revealed a similar string of numbers. It took a moment, but Josef managed to gather up the willpower to look at Karl again.

"Don’t apologize, do not tell me sorry…" Bosko murmured, kissing and nuzzling the German’s face with his own stubbled one. He could understand the loss of one’s own beloved family, and he certainly wouldn’t be mean to his lover just because he was gone a little longer than expected.

"I’m alvays here for you… I am sorry you… You had to go through…"

Josef sighed deeply, eyes falling shut as the faintest traces of a smile warmed his face. "Danke, Bosko... Thank you..." His voice was much softer now, no longer shaky or airy. "I vas worried you'd be angry or--... Or you'd hate me."

Head Like a Snowstorm

"You haff nozhing to apologize for. I understand."

He pauses, looking as if he’s thinking on something very heavy, before giving a soft sigh and a slight nod.

"I… I vant to tell you somezhing. Show you somezhing really, somezhing I haff shared wizh very few. … Can you keep ein secret?"

He’s pretty sure he could- the fact that Karl is here in an unfamiliar RED base at all and not being reported is a sign of Josef’s discretion. But he wants to stress the secrecy of what he is about to reveal.

Josef nodded. "Of course. M-my lips are sealed, I promise."

Head Like a Snowstorm

"Shh-shh… I’ve got you…" He rubs Josef’s back gently, letting him weep. Sometimes it was the best thing- better out than in. Pain left to fester could do terrible things- he should know.

"You’re nicht ruined. You’ve been zhrough somezhing terrible. Zhings ah going to be different now, but you ah nicht ruined. You vill heal. It vill take time, probably ein long time. But you vill."

He wonders… wonders if he should tell Josef. If for no other reason than to show himself as living proof that it was possible to endure something horrific and survive…

The RED eventually pulled back, trembling faintly and wiping his eyes. "I just--... Zhere's already been too much. Zhis only added to zhe wreckage." He exhaled slowly, swallowing just after. 

"I--... I'm sorry. I should be in better control of myself. Zhat's vhat started zhis clusterfuck in zhe first place."

"Josef…." Bosko murmured in worry as he got a good look at the little doctor. He was quick to scoop up his lover and find a seat so they could talk. "You do not… Needs to apologize, my doktor… But vhat happened…? You are hurt…"

He was cold— missing the usual almost overbearing warmth that radiated into his hands and face. “I—… I am not hurt.” He rubbed his eyes, leaning in against Bosko. “It is… A long story.”

"Y-You can tell me if you vant to talk, I vill listen to everything you tells to me, doktor…" Bosko quickly replied as he hugged the medic close. "I am here to care for you, doktor, to varm you and be yous Bosko."

Josef sort of buried himself in Bosko's chest, face against his shoulder and arms wrapped around his waist. "I--... I had to go avay for awhile. Zhere vas a housefire back at home, and--... And I vas told zhat my daughter and ex-vife vere--..." The medic trailed off, shuddering. "Unable to escape. It--... It destroyed me. I vas violent, so I'm told, but... But I don't remember vhat I did. I voke up a few days later, drugged out of my head and strapped to a table. Zhe medication zhey gave me... It... It did more harm zhan good. My memories are scattered and my body is veak..." Josef heaved a shaky sigh.

"I'm so, so sorry I vas not here--... I'm so sorry..." 

Head Like a Snowstorm

Karl is silent for several moments, not even startling at the sudden appearance of the bird. He looks very sad- not just at the situation itself, but something about it that resonates all too well, just like a lot of other things about all this.

Following his instincts, he reaches out, wrapping all too thin arms around the other man. He was not the sort who usually gave this sort of thing easily. But now? He felt it was needed.

He doesn’t say anything. What could he say? Hopefully his actions spoke the words he couldn’t find.

Josef dragged the other Medic in closer, practically crushing Karl as he sobbed into the BLU's shoulder. The little bird hopped off, cooing in surprise. Two more joined it on the back of Josef's chair.

"I-... It ruined me. It ruined my mind. I can't even handle lighting a fahking candle visout having panic attacks."

"Josef…." Bosko murmured in worry as he got a good look at the little doctor. He was quick to scoop up his lover and find a seat so they could talk. "You do not… Needs to apologize, my doktor… But vhat happened…? You are hurt…"

He was cold-- missing the usual almost overbearing warmth that radiated into his hands and face. "I--... I am not hurt." He rubbed his eyes, leaning in against Bosko. "It is... A long story."

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Send me a ship

and I can only reply with (✖╭╮✖), (◡‿◡✿), or (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧