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Robot Fucker 2023

@explodingpringlescans / explodingpringlescans.tumblr.com

Hello there! Any pronouns, 27, super queer. This blog is pretty much a bunch of random stuff I find entertaining at any moment. If you need anything tagged, let me know!
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The lies!!!!

*throws out all the bertolli*

IM SO PRESSED/SHOOK RN

this is a real scandal

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note-a-bear

Ain’t that a bitch

They selling fake olive oil.

they been selling fake olive oil from the time of the ancient Greeks and Romans

http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2007/08/13/slippery-business   This is a cool article on how they do it now and what they tend to substitute it with.

In 1997 and 1998, olive oil was the most adulterated agricultural product in the European Union, prompting the E.U.’s anti-fraud office to establish an olive-oil task force. (“Profits were comparable to cocaine trafficking, with none of the risks,” one investigator told me.) The E.U. also began phasing out subsidies for olive-oil producers and bottlers, in an effort to reduce crime, and after a few years it disbanded the task force. Yet fraud remains a major international problem: olive oil is far more valuable than most other vegetable oils, but it is costly and time-consuming to produce—and surprisingly easy to doctor. Adulteration is especially common in Italy, the world’s leading importer, consumer, and exporter of olive oil. (For the past ten years, Spain has produced more oil than Italy, but much of it is shipped to Italy for packaging and is sold, legally, as Italian oil.) “The vast majority of frauds uncovered in the food-and-beverage sector involve this product,” Colonel Leopoldo Maria De Filippi, the commander for the northern half of Italy of the N.A.S. Carabinieri, an anti-adulteration group run under the auspices of the Ministry of Health, told me.
In Puglia, which produces about forty per cent of Italy’s olives, growers have been in a near-constant state of crisis for more than a decade. “Thousands of olive-oil producers are victims of this ‘drugged’ market,” Antonio Barile, the president of the Puglia chapter of a major farmers’ union, told me, referring to illegal importations of seed oils and cheap olive oil from outside the E.U., which undercut local farmers. Instead of supporting small growers who make distinctive, premium oils, the Italian government has consistently encouraged quan-tity over quality, to the benefit of large companies that sell bulk oil. It has not implemented a national plan for oil production, has employed a byzantine system for distributing agricultural subsidies, and has often failed to enforce Italian laws and E.U. regulations intended to prevent fraud. The government has been so lax in pursuing some oil crimes that it can seem complicit. In 2000, the European Court of Auditors reported that Italy was responsible for eighty-seven per cent of misappropriated E.U. subsidies to olive-oil bottlers in the preceding fifteen years, and that the government had recovered only a fraction of the money.

I’ve been reading Extra Virginity: The Sublime and Scandalous World of Olive Oil by Tom Mueller, and wow, the things that get sold as ‘extra virgin’ olive oil are kind of scary, especially if you have any allergies. Or if you’re trying to use olive oil for health reasons – you’re likely paying a premium for something with none of the benefits you’re looking for.

Also, you could write at least 8 different genre novels about skullduggery in the olive oil trade, starting with a murder mystery and working your way out, because there’s just so much to unpack.

Well, that explains the rash of migraines/respiratory issues I had last month. I was cooking everything in whole foods oil and couldn’t figure it out. If it was cut with canola oil then there’s my answer. Son of a bitch.

(“Profits were comparable to cocaine trafficking, with none of the risks,” one investigator told me.)

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trackingshot

YO FUCK THESE GUYS my mom is allergic to corn and some of them were cut with corn oil. We very aggressively research any oil we purchase now.

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HYGIENE PRODUCTS FOR GAZA

Organised by the Asad sisters, Leena, Amanda and Loren with Pious Projects.

— At $20 each, this kit will include - but is not limited to - sanitary pads, a hair brush, tooth brush, toothpaste, cotton swabs, wipes, tissues, and other hygienic items depending on availability!

You can donate as little as $5 if you just want to help out, or donate a bulk of kits for between $100 to $1,000!

Access to the right hygeine products is essential for Palestinian people, as the Israeli blockade has left millions without access to proper hygeine that can lead to potentially fatal infections and diseases.

Do your part today:

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at hamhampangpang they served each of the sinners’ “soul food”!

this menu was originally posted in october 2022, but I wasn’t into this game back then lol n since hells chicken is coming I was curious :J

so here it is translated, mainly for my personal use, but I figured I’d post it too hehe. shout out to my friend peach for helping :D

Yi Sang 🪶: Kimchi Jeyuk Ssambap

Don Quixote 🎠: Gambas al Ajillo

Meursault 🌇: Ratatouille

Ryōshū 🚬: Oyakodon

Ishmael ⛪️: Hot Dogs

Hong Lu 🔮: Chilli Japchae & Hua Juan

Sinclair 🐣: Rösti

Heathcliff ⛈️: Fish and Chips

Faust 👻: Wurst

Gregor 🪲: Svíčková

Rodya 🪓: Borscht

Outis 👢 : Moussaka

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A strange alien doctor stands near the unconscious body of Padme Amidala. “It appears she has lost the will to live.” A older man with a limp hobbles closer with the aid of a cane. “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard,” says Dr. Gregory House.

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gwenthebard

-Keeps Padme on life support despite DNR, somehow this ends in him getting punched by Obi-Wan

-Immediately starts putting her on every treatment known to man

-Walks over to Wilson’s office, which is the only part of the entire ship that just looks the same as it does in the show

-Homoerotically complains about how stupid Jedi are, then makes a bet with Wilson on whether Obi Wan is gay or the father of Padme’s twins (Wilson wants House to believe people can be faithful)

-Padme almost dies again. Turns out the treatment’s not working

-“if the dark side nearly killed her, maybe it can save her”

-House uses force lightning to restart Padme’s heart

-Gets brought into Cuddy’s office and told off for using an experimental treatment, and the power of the dark side, in her hospital

-House is taken off the case and foreman is put in charge of the case

-Padme is unexpectedly doing better, but Cuddy refuses to tell House or else he’ll be using the dark side to save all his patients

-House watches on as Wilson tries seducing a relieved Obi Wan while he paces in the lobby. Doesn’t seem to work

-House interrogates Obi Wan about his relationship with Padme, insinuates it’s Obi Wans Fault. Gets in a struggle and once theyre seperated it’s revealed he ripped out some beard hair

-Padme is getting released from the hospital but crashes again with obvious signs of infection. Everyone blames the dark side of the force

-is put in intensive care again, everyone thinks she’s going to die, House is brooding.

-House meets Bail Organa and talks to him, Bail mentions how he was so worried about her the last time she was in a hospital, and this seems much more hopeless

-“what time she was in the hospital?”

-House marches in as they’re about to pull the plug, rolling Padme’s unconcious body over to point at dark spot on the back of her neck

-Foreman looks disapointed, “it’s a bruise house, her husband nearly snapped her neck.”

-“Our princess’ boyfriend here failed to mentioned she was scratched by a Nexu on Genosis years ago. Nexu claws are known as a vicious poison.”

-“it would have killed her years ago”

-“unless a small chunk of claw stuck in her back, working into the muscles near the nape of her neck for years. The little prince of Darkness chokes her, pressure and muscles spasming lets it work into a blood vessel. It’s why the force lightning only was a bandaid, it vaporized what was in her bloodstream but broke up the rest of the claw and let it enter in her bloodstream. Start her on dialysis, she’ll be fine by tomorrow afternoon.”

-Next day Padme’s wheeled out of the hospital with her two children, bittersweetness. House watches from balcony before going back to his office

-Wilson enters with his shirt unbuttoned and a few bruises on his neck, declaring, “the Jedi is gay. I win.”

-House holds up a paternity test, “he’s bisexual, it’s a draw”

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stalebagels

Edit: muted this monstrosity but if you're looking for the blank template it's on my blog and I'll tag this and it with "the stupid fucking shorts post" so you don't have to scroll through everything 💀😂 (I did not make the template btw, I don't know who the OP is but if you do please let me know)

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There’s something extremely endearing but also fucking hilarious about my partner helping me kill these bosses and giving me huge swords and runes in Elden Ring and telling me it’s payback for all the stuff I gave them in Animal Crossing

Mage brandishing an enormous crystal staff, eyes glimmering with sorcery: I grant you my strength and the broadsword of screeching death for the kindness you showed me in a previous life, in which you gave me a cool dress and several pumpkin seeds

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excalibelle

me watching monsters inc as a kid: how did it take so long for anyone to figure out that human child laughter not only produced energy like screams, but was more effective, and that children aren’t actually dangerous at all?

me watching monsters inc now: monsters incorporated, a multi-billion dollar corporate giant, stood to make extra profits off a scream shortage because low supply with high demand makes it possible to charge a fortune for a necessary commodity and everyone has no choice but to pay the high prices because they can’t go without electricity. Therefore Monsters Inc, as well as any other major powers that may have existed at the start of the era of using scream energy, fabricated the idea that only screams could generate sustainable energy sources in order to create artificial scarcity, because laugh energy was far easier to obtain and far more efficient, and therefore stood to lower the value of energy due to surplus. They also fabricated the idea that human children were toxic, in order to a) make other monsters too afraid to go near them to do research and possibly discover the secret of laugh energy, and b) to make monsters so afraid of going near them that there is a shortage of scarers, making it harder for rival companies to rise up and create competition. Even in the monster world, capitalism is based on lies, greed and cruelty, and even monster companies have no qualms about using and abusing children to maximize profits.

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