Rose, 24, idk/idk

sometimes you have an exceptionally shitty night and feel dangerously drawn to that headspace nikola tesla was in when he tried to build a death ray.

“why don’t you build it, poser?” can’t afford it. next question.

Don’t mind me. Just cleaning your dash

Absolute filth on main

Things that work in fiction but not real life

This post breaching containment has taught me that a lot of people seem to think they can accurately profile complete strangers. For the record, no the fuck you can't.

gay wario

Yeah you're right. It WOULD be pretty fucked up if you were a swan but you were raised by ducks and you grew up never seeing another swan or even knowing that such a thing as a swan even existed so you just thought you were a duck with something super wrong with it.

If I ask nicely will people reblog this and tell me what their most common breakfast is? Not your favorite necessarily, just what you have for breakfast most frequently? 🙏🏽

In what world is tall muscular man not conventionally attractive

We've all been down here too long. I truly think there's a chunk of tumblr's population that can no longer survive sunlight.

women will say “hear me out” and show u a photo of pyramid head and then tumblr users will go “this is a perfectly normal man and an ice cold take”

really wish gender was more of a hobby and less of a societal contract and mandate

it's always bad for adults to interact with minors, which is why when I was born my mother was positioned at the window and I was birthed down a giant slip n slide that safely transported me to the hospital grounds, where I was quickly accepted and raised by a gang of feral babies who were born under similar circumstances. and that's why my posts are so bad

Hey what the fuck happens in homestuck

It’s practically 2014 and you guys still don’t know how to google if an article is real or not before giving it 100,000 notes

i hate how they market alexa as a ‘member of the family’ like that’s SO fucking blatantly insidious and terrifying also if i wanted an untrustworthy/cold/emotionless machine in my life i’d just talk to my fuckin father 

“Guys stop bullying my wiretap”

#did we all collectively forget why Big Brother was called that

Wait, it got better.

He does this a lot, to my deep surprise in undergrad:

For reference, the reason nobody likes this book and you can press tofu with it is that it’s about 1600 pages long.

It’s also, by all accounts, the origin of Cousin Throckmorton

You know, it makes perfect sense that the guy who would amuse himself by going around Twitter as above would also have come up with the skateboarding cousin Throckmorton for a word problem.

Like it totally follows.

the four horsemen of the apocalypse