judgmental farmer: why the heck did ya name yer dang horse Mayo, son?
my horse Mayo: *neighs*
What the fuck?
well pardner, I named my horse Mayo because horses are inclined to neigh, and “Mayo neighs” sounds like “mayonnaise” which is my favorite condiment. this kind of complex humor is hard work but so is farmin’, and I get a good chuckle out of it. that’s just the kinda farmer I am
She’s beautiful
Adorable <3
Just remember. There is no such thing as a fake geek girl. There are only fake geek boys. Science fiction was invented by a woman.
Specifically a teenage girl. You know, someone who would be a part of the demographic that some of these boys are violently rejecting.
Isaac Asimov.
yo mary shelley wrote frankenstein in 1818 and isaac asimov was born in 1920 so you kinda get my point
If you want to push it back even further Margaret Cavendish, the duchess of Newcastle (1623-1673) wrote The Blazing World in 1666, about a young woman who discovers a Utopian world that can only be accessed via the North Pole - oft credited as one of the first scifi novels
Women have always been at the forefront of literature, the first novel (what we would consider a novel in modern terms) was written by a woman (Lady Muraskai’s the Tale of Genji in the early 1000s) take your snide “Isaac Asimov” reblogs and stick it
even in terms of male scifi authors, asimov was predated by Jules Verne, HG Wells, George Orwell, you could have even cited Poe or Jonathan Swift has a case but Asimov?
PbbBFFTTBBBTBTTBBTBTTT so desperate to discredit the idea of Mary Shelly as the mother of modern science fiction you didn’t even do a frickin google search For Shame
And if you want to go back even further, the first named, identified author in history was Enheduanna of Akkad, a Sumerian high priestess.
Kinda funny, considering this Isaac Asimov quote on the subject:
Mary Shelley was the first to make use of a new finding of science which she advanced further to a logical extreme, and it is that which makes Frankenstein the first true science fiction story.
Even Isaac Asimov ain’t having none of your shit, not even posthumously.
You know what else was invented by women? Masked vigilantes, the precursor to the modern superhero. Baroness Emma Orczy wrote The Scarlet Pimpernel in 1905. The character would later inspire better known masked vigilantes such as Zorro and Batman.
Stick that in your international pipe and smoke it
I have literally been telling people this for over a year.
the first extended prose piece - ie a novel, was not, as many male scholars will shout, Don Quixote (1605) but The Tale of Genji (1008) written by a woman
The first autobiography ever written in English is also attributed to a woman, The Book of Margery Kempe (1430s).
The day may come when I find this post and do not reblog it, but it is not this day.
thanos is confused and offended (x)
im like 2% cute and 98% single
Can you be 100% mine?
no
What dark appetites does he feed
Hasn’t Mark Hamill been playing The Joker for 20 shitzillion years? How come he never got “consumed” by the role?
cause hes not an ass
seriously–that’s one of my favorite things. while jared leto is over there talking about how playing a PG-13 Joker has irreparably turned him into a dark and twisted psychopath, mark hamill, who has played the meanest and scariest versions of the joker for years, is running around being an actual ray of human sunshine.
nothing makes you be a dick. you decide to be a dick, then find an excuse.
why the fuck do people always remind you that taco bell isn’t real mexican food like do you not think that i know that like do you think i go to taco bell because i think the 16 year old white guy behind the window just made me authentic mexican cuisine two minutes before i pulled to the second window no do you know why i go to taco bell it’s because it’s 1:30am and my life is terrible so i order a coke and five dorito loco tacos and shove them down my face in the parking lot
Should be commissioned as an ad for Taco Bell
Honestly I’m so sick of seeing rich-girl fitness. Don’t show me pretty vegan smoothies in mason jars held by a girl with perfect makeup, a manicure, and a color-coordinated running outfit. Show me diets and workouts that I can manage when I’m working 13 hours days and living on a budget. Show me how to eat healthy when I have 5 minutes for lunch. Show me small things I can do to help my body. Show me workout plans that I can do outside of a gym when I can’t afford a membership. I don’t have time. I don’t have money. Half the time I don’t have the motivation to get up in the morning. But I have a body. I want to be healthy.
IF YOU AINT SUCKING HIS DICK WHILE HES DRIVING THEN WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Getting home safely
I don’t care if they got a body like Nicki Minaj with their boobs pushed up to their chin and wear more pink and ruffles than a unicorn in a tutu. If they tell you they’re nonbinary, then they’re fucking nonbinary.
I don’t care if he’s got the highest, prettiest voice and wears dresses and pink glittery nail polish and high heels. If he tells you he’s a boy, then he’s a fucking boy.
I don’t care if she looks like the Hulk and talks like Morgan Freeman and has a beard to rival Thor and the hairiest chest and legs ever and wears a suit. If she tells you she’s a girl, then she’s a fucking girl.
Deal with it.
Riding public transit shortly after Caitlin Jenner introduced herself to the world, I heard two men in their sixties with thick Southern accents turn conversation to ‘this whole Jenner business.” I braced myself for something ugly and considered moving further down the train; I’m glad I didn’t.
“I just don’t get it, ya know?” one of them began, shaking his head. “I mean, you bump into somebody in the supermarket and you say, ‘I’m sorry, sir,’ and hear back, ‘actually, it’s ma’am,’ then you say, ‘so sorry, ma’am; my mistake’ not ‘I’LL CALL YOU SIR IF I DAMN WELL FEEL LIKE IT!!!’” More head shaking. “What’s the matter with some people? They just got no manners.’
“Couldn’t agree more Hoyden.”
Got off that train with a big smile on my face.
My type of petty
I love clueless white women
So one black man wasn’t enough.
wow it gets worse
She also said that she’d throw herself at Michael b Jordan even if she was married like an hour her obsession with black men is so psychotic
Not to mention she molested her own sister, bragged about it and she made a post on twitter saying she had a dream she molested a “African American rodent”. So not only is this bitch a molester, but she fetishizes black men and think shes entitled to black men because she a basic ass white woman, and shes a racist. This bitch is trash trash trash along with her bestie Amy Schumer
So apparently Target is selling small cards against humanity expansion packs! They have fantasy, WWE, etc. but most importantly…
the retail pack.
now look at this:
this says i get an instant 1$ rebate. and it’s on the inside. that mean i get a dollar back instantly! now just how exactly did they do that?
they put a dollar inside. a literal actual dollar. imagine my reaction when i saw a dollar inside of this little package, cause it was literally the first thing i saw.
When i saw the post that said they hid a card inside the lid of the ‘bigger blacker box’ i was a bit skeptical.
I am no longer skeptical.
the people that make this game are absolutely ridiculous.
(btw, the pack cost 4$. 3$ if you count the dollar you get back)
Always believe whatever Cards Against Humanity say when they tell you something about a pack. These are the people who sold literal Bullshit on Black Friday back in 2014.
(x)
