i read this post & knew immediately it was kagehina

based on hedgehog’s confession from summer camp island, ayyyyy~

walking around the house at night w my cell phone flashlight on instead of turning on the lights feeling like a bronte character with a candle

It’s better that is actually isn’t an edited screenshot

Where is he going?

Today the lady behind me in line at the grocery store checkout politely tapped my shoulder and when I turned around she motioned toward my giant bundles of kale and asked: “what do you do with your kale? Do you cook with it, or make juice, or…?” And i admitted there in front of god and the world “oh I feed it to my peacocks.” And she just looked so taken aback that I said “I’m sorry that’s not the answer you were hoping for”

And that’s how I learned other people don’t really know what to do with kale either. We’re all pretty sure it’s edible, though.

People are sending me kale recipes like they honestly believe I will try to eat bird food

I’m sorry I’m hung up on the part where op owns peacocks

Purple ones:

And peahens. This one sleeps on a fluffy rainbow unicorn stuffed animal:

Her name is Artemis and she’s allergic to food.

This is Stan. His color morph is called Cameo so I named him Stan Lee:

He’s Artemis’ boyfriend.

They both love kale. I suppose someone’s got to.

OP Tell them I love them!

Are they good guard birds?

That depends on your definition of ‘guard.’

They won’t defend other birds from predators like raccoons or weasels or coyotes or anything. They’re just as likely to get eaten in those cases.

However, they will harass snakes and other small, novel animals like mice, rabbits, wild birds, etc if they can get away with it. They will also yell at anything they disapprove of including but not limited to:

Time for Childhood for you 90s/Early 2000s kids

My fucking childhood in one post omg the only thing missing is Star Wars and Disney.

I forgot those damn BLUE CUBE BLOCKS that was meant to “help” with math. It only added pressure when I dropped them and couldn’t find a block to get. the. right. answer!

OMG KID PIX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How is it possible that we all have the same exact childhood?!

Bring me back my childhood dammit! I call do over

this is what “shjfkgslkjhlkjsg” sounds like

A little sumnsumn for mermay, maybe?

memeception

WE’VE HIT TERMINAL MEME

@caesarianconfection

I’ve said “I hate this” so many times on this website, and never actually meant it, because “I hate this” is just shorthand for ‘this is an example of a meme given a twist I wasn’t expecting with intent to surprise’. Which is, in of itself, a meme on this site. God damn it.

But this… This is something else.

The rapidity of a meme’s introduction to its zenith to its decline is so rapid that in ten years, you’ll need a damn twenty-page manual to explain this. It’ll be as unfunny and hard to explain as jokes in Shakespeare plays, except even more inexplicable because fuck, at least Shakespeare’s jokes are usually about anal or fucking your mother, good wholesome sex jokes we can all get behind.

For the love of fuck, how do you explain loss.jpg? How do you explain gun?

….I THOUGHT THIS WAS A YMCA REFERENCE

it is a YMCA reference - that’s one of the 6 memes being represented here

ok let me see if i can break this down easily. YMCA is the easiest place to start - the song itself has become a meme over time with people changing the lyrics to reference other pop cultural events. so YMCA is meme one (1)

this first lyric replacement (”take the breadsticks and run”) is a reference to the tumblr meme ‘stuffing breadsticks into my purse’. i think everyone remembers that one so i wont bother to explain it. that’s meme two (2)

“man door hand hook car door” is a meme of its own, a creepypasta from i dont remember when. it was a terrible stupid retelling of the generic ‘stuck in a car while hook handed man tries to kill us’ story so the stupid title caught on for memorability. that in and of itself is meme three (3)

‘gun’ is… yeah i dont know how to explain gun. long story short you add gun to the end of a phrase instead of what you expect the last word to be. its shock funny. its everywhere but its popular to add to “man door hand hook car door” for.. some reason? gun is meme four (4)

and the thing is, this four meme combo is something thats gone around before. meme combos are, itself, a meme. which means taking this meme combo and mixing in another meme actually becomes meme five (5)

which leaves us at loss.jpg. loss.jpg was a terrible bad comic supposed to be about some tragic event, but it was presented so poorly literally no one takes it seriously, and for some reason recreating the four-panel setup has become popular. so thats meme six (6)

(but i need to add that this is the greatest version of loss.jpg i think i’ve ever seen. the initial ‘young man’ lines up with the guy bursting through the door, and the shock meme ‘gun’ matches the shock scene of the woman in the hospital and idk if OP even thought about that but it makes this just so much better)

I wasn’t going to reblog this, but @pagesofkenna‘s comprehensive meme-by-meme annotation is a thing of beauty and should be shared.

average tumblr post contains one meme, this post, which contains six, is an outlier and should not be counted

it might also just be a coincidence due to loss.jpg’s format but the whole white minimalist four-panel setup is also suspiciously reminiscent of those early 2000’s rage comics

I was getting a political compass vibe too

tag urself im man door hand hook car gun

This works better than I thought it would.

This was in my senior project

I’m not sorry.

EIGHT MEME COMBO

FATALITY

We have officially created a new language 

I just had to do it to em

THIS FUCKING THREAD I’M GONNA CRY

I LOST IT AND MAN DOOR HAND HOOK CAR GUN AND DIDN’T EXPECT MORE I’M SOBBING

M E M E T E N

OwO?

You know I had to

I hope you know this is the most cursed addition to my post, and I love it

THIRTEEN!?

SOMEONE EDIT THIS FROM THE ORIGINAL PHOTO SAYING “this one does not spark joy” TO THIS VERSION SAYING “this one sparks joy”

well i added my contribution : )

why—

IM SCREAMING

This is the most elaborate meme I have ever seen and damn am I concerned by how it makes sense.

“You’re in your 30s, but you still understand all this meme stuff?” “Oh yeah, sure.” “Can you explain it to me?” “I absolutely fucking cannot.”

How do you catch a hawk?!

Two types of  Slow Burn

Type I

100k of pining, accidental hands touching, sex dreams that end with passionate smut in the last chapter.

Type II

They raw each other in the first part of chapter 1, then spend 100k in denial, misunderstanding, and self-doubt

Munch

num num num num num num num ahhhhhhhhh num num num num ahhhhhhhhh

“Please let there be sound”, I said as I clicked play. And there was. And it was exactly what I wanted. 10/10 would listen to little munches again.

oh my god

— Yasmin Mogahed (via wordsnquotes)

i hate how whenever you see a gay love scene in movies or tv in the company of straight people the atmosphere gets tense regardless of tolerance level. like conservatives are visibly uncomfortable or disgusted and that tension could easily become fear while liberals are like “this is weird but I’ll prove I’m open minded. Come on, game face” and they alternate between making comments about how Okay With It they are and looking a little constipated. either way you just hope it ends

fun story: i was a teaching assistant for a film history class a couple of years ago, and the professor was a newly hired super-queer trans man. naturally, he screened a film that features an interracial, lesbian sex scene. during discussion section that week, i asked my students to share a moment in the film that really stood out to them and explain why. this quiet kid in the back, who couldn’t have been more than 18 and was dressed in a fairly Straight White Boy outfit - backwards baseball cap and all - raised his hand and said:

“i really liked the sex scene because i could just feel all the straight people around me cringe and get uncomfortable, and that’s how i always feel during sex scenes in most Hollywood movies.”

i wanted to give him a high five. i think it’s still one of my favorite comments I’ve gotten in discussion section.

Can you even imagine being the poor alien sod responsible for auditing an earthling spaceship’s spending allowance? Like: 

“I see, and why do you require many tubes of white plant flavoured paste?” 

“Oh well, if we don’t rub that on our teeth twice daily the bacteria living in my mouth will begin to devour me teeth.” 

“…Noted.” 

“I have also noticed several large shipments of specific medications, and a variety of individually packaged absorbent material - however injury records do not show sufficient numbers to justify these recurrent deliveries.” 

“Ah, yeah, it’s not really an injury per say. As part of our natural reproductive cycle approximately half the population will shed the lining of one of their internal organs and expel it.”

“…that is the most horrifying thing that I have ever heard.”

“Yeah.”

“Does such a process not hurt?”

“That’l be what the medication’s for. Pain killers for the cramps, birth control to stop the process.” 

“…and your reasoning behind the fully functional, high-tech entertainment system?” 

“Okay, that we could probably do without. But in our defence that was actually insisted on as a standard feature of all fleet-ships expected to encounter Terrans. Admiral Plo’Kaght insisted on it. Something about bored humans and a an illegal betting ring featuring a cleaning robot with a knife strapped to it going up against a human with a mop?” 

“…I believe I should speak with my superiors.” 

I love how Stabby the Roomba has become such a consistent in-joke among these sorts of blogs.

Galactic hero stabby the roomba: his legend continues