How is anyone supposed to be normal after that. G-d looked back at me for a minute

[ID: Four images of the 2024 solar eclipse in different stages; the first three are partial while the fourth is in totality. End ID]

i love being a hater of media that i’ve never seen or listened to. no i will not give it a chance. it’s called listening to my heart

i'm conducting an experiment. everyone who's from an english speaking country state your country, regional area and what you call the following images. i need to see something

i still think the funniest way a celebrity has ever been "cancelled" was when we found out DJ Khaled didnt eat pussy

[AGGRESSIVELY TRIES TO SING LEAD VOCALS AND BACK UP VOCALS AT THE SAME TIME]

sorry i cant hang out i forgot how to mimic human like behaviour

I mean if you wanna just loom in the corner like some kinda creature that's cool, we just don't want you getting left out

I LOVE YOU

cereal tastes better at night because the veil is thin

At the club checkin my tumblr notes

Babe, you okay? you reblogged “and we were nice to each other” like 12 times again

i drew this comic more than 10 years ago :) couldnt even tell u who i was thinking of now cuz i hardly remember… cant believe it resonated with so many people!!!

april will be a good month [staring into the sink mirror eyebags prominent the most upset person youve ever seen]

You’ve heard of one shots, now get ready for none shots! It’s when you think of an idea for a fic and then don’t write it

#not to brag but im so fckn good at this

really recommend getting a partner with a different religion than you and very little knowledge of your religion because the opportunities for explaining things to each other are just exquisite

yesterday she told me some story about the Buddha's wife and child and I was like. Wait. He fucked? And she was like yeah of course he fucked, why wouldn't he, he was the most attractive and loveable and and wise and etc. person who ever lived. why would he not fuck.

this morning she looked perplexed in the kitchen at me and said "did Jesus not fuck?"

Robert pattinson and kristen strwart really are something special because way back when they really were the hegemonic atractive hollywood cis het couple par excellence (they dated for 4 years) and now one turned out to be a massive lesbian and the other is a weird trickster gremlin man. Truly they are living their best lives and im really happy for them

When I see people sharing so much of their kids' lives, I think about that one time my child told a joke, I shared that joke with ONE FRIEND in a private conversation, and my child said "can you please ask me next time, before you tell people something about me?"

And, yes, I absolutely should. So I apologized, and now I ask.

"I love that video of you, can I show it to a friend?"

"Can I tell a friend about how clever you were just now?"

"Can I share this in the family group chat?"

"Can I show your art to grandma and grandpa?"

And it's not like my kids don't like when I share their jokes and puns and fun moments. They love it! But they want to have control over what I share with people. Even without their faces or their names. Even people we know and trust.

And they deserve to have that control.

My children are small so the examples are small. They wanted me to ask, so I ask. Just like being told to kiss my grandma's cheek when I was a kid was far from traumatizing, but I don't do that with my kids because it's a way to practice consent and become aware of bodily autonomy.

It gets both me and them in the habit of asking for consent and drawing boundaries and seeing the lines between their life and my life, their stories and my stories.

Sure sex is great but have you ever read a fanfic by an incredible author and then realized they have 30+ other fics in the tag?

Reblogging this reply so everyone who knows me IRL can laugh as hard as I did at this

This might be the funniest reply I’ve ever seen in my life

I AM WHEEZING

PLEASE STOP REBLOGGING THIS OMFG