why did it take me nearly 10 years to realize Kristen Stewart wore contacts in Twilight
burnhham reblogged
If someone says “I love u” and you say “I love u 2” back, make sure you add “no Bono” so they know you mean that you love them too, not just the legendary Irish rock band U2
side note would anyone be interested in buying my 3DS, I bought it then literally did not play it and it's sitting doing nothing give it a happy home
I never knew love was real until my boyfriend gave me his login to his steam account with 40+ games
burnhham reblogged
In this post-election hate-crime spike, self defense is more important than ever. Practice this move until it becomes muscle memory and teach your body to react before thinking.
(via Zee Abdulla)
burnhham reblogged
“Reality is a difficult concept for liberals,” Trump supporters proclaim as they proceed to believe that fictional character Leslie Knope is a real person.
Even fake women are a threat to them this is hysterical
this election was a fucking joke
today while walking to my car I tripped on a cape I was wearing and then I spilt the bowl of meatballs I was carrying, exclaimed "my balls!" looked up and made direct eye contact with my ex boyfriend
Please ask Bo if he has ever burned a ham.
Hahaha I might be 1000 years late replying but this made me chuckle
does anyone know the name of the girl who plays the waitress in the music video for one bad night? (by hayley kiyoko) ???
one time I was really high and I wanted food so I went to target and I was really paranoid everyone could tell so I bought toothpaste b/c I thought it made me look responsible
Anonymous asked:
Ur cat is so beauty,,who is she
thanks i love my cat
tell me why both times I saw suicide squad the thing that got the most laughs was Harley Quinn getting punched out by batman
burnhham reblogged
i call all my friends after 20 years of no contact and invite them to visit me at my house, which is a farm in the middle of nowhere. they approach the farm gates and i appear looking like this
..go on…….
snakegay
i lead you into the barn where i live and offer you snacks and refreshments. it’s a bowl of minnows and 3 caprisun pouches
gayscreaming
accept the capri sun, cautiously refuse the minnows
snakegay
i tell you that it’s fine, leaves more for me, but you can tell im a little hurt. we watch cutthroat kitchen in silence, i seem to be attempting to drink my caprisun through my gas mask, but im failing miserably. you say nothing.
gayscreaming
i say nothing
snakegay
at one point i go into a shed and bring out more caprisun pouches and a single triscuit for you
gayscreaming
Thanks
snakegay
youre welcome