the signs on valentine's day
Aries: motherfucker where is my valentine
Taurus: *frantically shoves chocolate into mouth*
Gemini: maybe i can pay my friend to pretend to be my date
Cancer: ugh, all those cute couples are gross. i'm not jealous, i just don't like seeing people suck face in the halls!
Leo: what the hell am i going to do with all these flowers and all this chocolate?
Virgo: love is a social construct and i don't need it
Libra: OMMMGGGGG I LOVE EVERYONE ! *goes home and cries*
Scorpio: i'm a strong, independent woman who don't need no partner *sniffles*
Sagittarius: why is this a holiday lol. i am my own valentine
Capricorn: i am a sad, lonely person. no one loves me. buT THAT'S OKAY BECAUSE BITCH I'M TOO GOOD FOR YOU ANYWAY *breaks down crying*
Aquarius: wat
Pisces: time to buy myself chocolate and pretend it's from my crush