@clowntai / clowntai.tumblr.com

// Tai //
21 -He/Him¡! - TW - *whore* gods favorite male gyaru ★彡
ʕ⁎̯͡⁎ʔ༄
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clowntai
#Sometime I rly hate being gay bc like men are so ugly like only some of them are even attractive like and I mean strictly physically this#is not even accounting for how emotionally ignorant they are#like all the time I see baddies with ugly bfs#like pls I don’t want that to be me 😭 if I have to look at u for the rest of my life pls be cute#like dear god this is why I’m like ok if he’s a lil toxic we can fix it if u want bc LMFAO the other options are not cute chile#men be like 🥵 at me with no mustache….I’m going to be sick 😭😭😭😭
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squirrelstothenuts
#I do wonder if I’m ever ment to be happy#if for just one time I could get something I want without pain#for something to happen to me that makes all of this worth it#someone today said my pain isn’t special and she’s right it’s not and neither am I my suffering is product of things beyond me and out of my#control#pain is personal and people will choose themselves as they should everytime and that’s okay#my life was a mistake#a sad little mistake off a long list of mistakes my mother made as young woman#i don’t blame her#the world is extremely cruel towards black women#we can only suffer alone so much before we go insane so in that way I see and understand her
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wether it’s getting played or being misunderstood by my family it’s always something

#there’s nothing I can rly do besides just keep waking up and hoping that’s enough#i fear for the day it’s not honestly bc it won’t be good#like lol what if this was my last straw#i actually think that people really don’t care about me like they may want to but god they don’t actually do it#there are so many extensions I give and do for ppl that are never done for me and I ask myself often why am I like this? it’s just my nature#the experience is or was enough for me at some point#idk when it stopped being enough
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