Growing Dark | Ramna Safeer
June after June, our mamas
wave their yellow shawls from the balcony
and ask us not to play too long in the sun.
Our people do not tan, they'd say,
we only grow too brown.
I think about our girls relegated to the shade.
I think about summer as a softening peach
and a thick, molasses kind of love in its pit
and brown girls being denied a bite.
I think about sugar in the frying pan — about sizzle,
about white becoming caramel,
about all the sweetest things only growing sweeter
in the heat.
I think about the sun
and the way it ripens and also forgives.
About its fire growing arms and holding our girls
by their cheeks and whispering into their mouths:
I do not bite. I do not bite.
I think about letting this benevolent sun
swallow my skin and about this
being the perfect way to rest,
my brown and the soil as one.
I think about epitaph — here lies Ramna,
she played too long in the sun.
inkywings reblogged
skye, summer
inkywings reblogged
Dear God,
sometimes I imagine your laughter
and it is clean and thin,
like green thread of summer evening.
When it is all faded and gone,
the sound of my mother
chewing spoonfuls of brown sugar in the dark,
the sound of sweet earthquakes splitting between her teeth,
is the next best thing.
Dear God,
in another version of this,
home is nothing more than sunken walls and
tired foreheads touching ground in tired prayer.
In another version of this,
the way our shoulders touched
and it sent gravity swelling in our palms,
is the only thing we will never have to translate,
the only thing we will never have to fold small enough
to fit into the mouths of others in order
for it to be real.
Dear God,
can you tell me when we began to house a stranger?
Or if not that, how the stranger
is the one who built the house?
Can you tell me why it is lonely to begin a poem
about a big-boned, benevolent love
and to have it open its sad eyes halfway
and to have it change its name to something terrible?
Dear God,
in another version of this,
I hear your laughter and it is not unfamiliar.
It tastes like speaking forever about nothing.
It tastes like friends who scratch your scalp
with their nailbitten fingers
and tell you there is nothing better
than your flavour of lost.
Dear God,
the dinner is cold and I am trying my hardest.
In another version of this,
I am trying and
the whole world nods and
everyone breathes a sigh so full,
so tornado that the whole evening kneels to pray
and everyone believes me.
This is Not a Prayer | Ramna Safeer (via inkywings)
This year, I am relearning to be chosen.
Which is to say,
I am relearning the way
a kiss swings its golden legs off the edge of your lips
before falling into a red and laughing mouth,
like a heavy, heavy poem.
Which is to say,
I am returning to myself,
to water the houseplants hung in my corners
and shake the dust from the shelves
and reread the pages bent backwards.
This year, I am relearning religion.
Which is to say,
God is a microwave meal and the sermon sits,
swelling, on the brow-bones of the women who love me.
Which is to say,
this is a prayer and in my own way, I say it loud.
Which is to say,
I whisper it into the morning,
when my voice is still remembering itself.
This year, I am relearning to be touched.
Which is to say,
I am remembering the way
to empty someone into yourself
and walk into the night
and become lighter,
become light.
Resolution for the Brave | Ramna Safeer
inkywings reblogged
Finally, in a low whisper, he said, ‘I think I might be a terrible person.’ For a split second I believed him - I thought he was about to confess a crime, maybe a murder. Then I realized that we all think we might be terrible people. But we only reveal this before asking someone to love us. It is a kind of undressing.
Miranda July, The First Bad Man (via wordsnquotes)
Source: thelovejournals
She was the start of a beautiful hurt.
In the right kind of wind, her evenings sung
a lot like losing.
When the air grew sharp, she told me
I was easy to forget.
When the air grew biting, I believed her.
He is not a God, she whispered. But you will
bend your knees to his absence anyway.
You will ask so often for an impossible thing
that it, too, will become prayer.
Her stomach was a hollow promise
and I was dancing in it.
She kissed me cold. Taught me the names of lakes
so deep that bodies can go lost into a wet nothing.
Taught me that this hurt is a body in its own way,
with its own kind of drowning,
with its own kind of failing limbs.
She, September
In these dreams it’s always you:
the boy in the sweatshirt,
the boy on the bridge, the boy who always keeps me
from jumping off the bridge.
Oh, the things we invent when we are scared
and want to be rescued.
Richard Siken, “I Had a Dream About You” (via fauxpas)
Silly girl. His throat is a hornet's nest
hanging in the forest.
Most days, you could not tell the kiss
from the sting — this is the anatomy
of a love worth forgetting.
Silly girl. To have something
and not have the room to keep it.
To swallow the fog.
To chew the smoke.
Silly girl. Soon, there will be no more
metaphors and the language we speak
will stop sounding real.
It is just the way the crooked crumbles.
Silly girl. Take a nap in the back seat.
Drink up the orange glow of 8am.
Wallow in the lonely of healing.
Silly girl. When you are smiling for the camera
and you forget where to put your hands,
bring them up to your sides.
When your arms begin to burn,
pockets of fire in your elbows,
memorize the sound of occupying space.
unlearning (a note to self) | Ramna Safeer
I try to put my devastation on / the ground. I try to put it on the ground and pay it. My devastation, I pay it.
Carrie Lorig, from “VI. Dreadful Contact,” published in pinwheel (via lifeinpoetry)
Source: pinwheeljournal.com
inkywings reblogged
inkywings reblogged
My hair in your mouth.
A noise in your heart like my face
is your mosque and you are dancing in it.
This is the thing I cling to.
An open-mouthed smile unraveling
during a kiss, your lips hitting my teeth,
a confession falling to the floor.
Blossoming. Becoming real.
We are not a love of togetherness.
We are a love apart.
There is an uncountable distance
and so many moons
and each month leading up to your mouth
is a month that did not lose us inside it.
There will be a scratch in my side or
a strawberry on my tongue or a thick,
dizzying fog in the street and I will remember
the way you ask me if I am okay,
the way it makes me wonder if I am.
There is nothing linear about this remembering.
It just is. We just are.
Anatomy of a Love Apart | Ramna Safeer (via inkywings)
and I can't imagine a time
when I don't pass through and
your sound is unfamiliar
was what you said before
we both imagined
so hard it became true
Last One About You | Ramna Safeer
south florida, may 2017
inkywings reblogged
softest-archive-deactivated2023
I’m ok. I’m gonna be ok. I’m gonna live a beautiful life and I’ll get to know beautiful people. I will create things of beauty and be surrounded by flowers. And I’ll love myself, and I’ll be soft, I’ll be kind. And I’ll be ok.