"Empathy is not Endorsement" is a mantra I established for myself privately and then some sweet people turned it into a shirt that you can wear publicly. https://goo.gl/DzQiZQ

Alyson was called a "dyke" and "bug-eyed freak" by an anonymous person online. That anonymous person was her.

Full episode here: https://goo.gl/Vs3GSe

I gave a TED Talk. You can watch it here.

I've never gone into detail about the bullying I experienced in middle school and high school. I usually just acknowledge it happened and then move on.

But in this week's episode of 'Conversations with People Who Hate Me' (embedded above) I found myself telling my guest a story from high school that I never shared out loud. I surprised myself by recounting it and promptly broke into an anxious sweat after I did.

I used to think that what I experienced wasn't "real" bullying because "real" bullying leaves you with physical bruises. "Real" bullying shoves you in lockers and leaves you there for hours. "Real" bullying is physical.

And yet, the bullying I experienced made me fake sick days. It made me find the least-travelled hallway routes so I wouldn't run into certain people. It made me cry uncontrollably when I got home and then kick myself for crying because, after all, "it wasn't real."

In this episode, I shared a story with my 18 year-old guest because he revealed that he is currently being bullied in high school. It turns out the type of sentiments he wrote to me in a digital space are similar to the sentiments being flung at him in his school’s hallways. I instinctively related to him, and found my unconscious mind sharing a story with him before my conscious mind knew what was happening.

Bullying is a cycle. Hurt people hurt people. It's a lot easier to realize this a decade out from high school than it is when you're inside. I used to wish so hard that I would grow up to be bigger, better, and more successful than my bullies. But I think that's evolving into a new wish: I hope my bullies can overcome whatever was hurting them so badly that they had to hurt me to ease the pain.

Here’s the first episode of ‘Conversations with People Who Hate Me.’ I wanted to clear some things up before we begin.

This podcast is not a debate show, nor is it an attempt to “epically shut down” or “own” the folks who have sent me hateful or negative messages. It’s simple: I listen to my guests if they’re willing to listen to me. This podcast is also not a search for “common ground.” On the contrary, some of my guests and I share no common ground other than the fact that we’re humans who have agreed to talk to each other on the phone. This won’t be an opportunity to “expose” or “trick” anyone either. All guests were able to choose their own level of anonymity and those requests were honored. ‘Conversations with People Who Hate Me’ is an experiment to see what happens when two people with very different views of the world take their online conversation offline, respectfully.

I am no “braver” than anyone else for taking on this project; I simply have a platform and this is how I want to use it.

I am grateful to my friends who gave feedback and encouragement throughout this process *and* those who warned me against doing this project (lol, sorry! I did it anyway!). Finally, yes, I am grateful to those who wrote the hateful messages, comments, and posts that inspired me to investigate what was behind that negativity.

I’m proud to share this with you.

I’m starting a new podcast called ‘Conversations with People Who Hate Me.’ It’s an interview series where I have extended conversations with some of the people who have sent me negative or hateful messages. 

You can subscribe by clicking here or wherever you love listening to podcasts.

The first season is 10 episodes and it starts on July 31st. 

Full episode HERE. 

Exreme(ly Queer) Muslims. Every Monday in June.

Hey friends, I’m back with a new video series called EXTREME(LY QUEER) MUSLIMS.

As a queer video maker who has made many videos denouncing Islamophobia, I’ve noticed that some people don’t understand why I support a religion that “doesn’t support me.” I wanted to tackle this complicated issue from a more personal angle.

All throughout pride month & Ramadan I’ll be releasing videos that highlight and celebrate queer Muslim voices. 

EXTREME(LY QUEER) MUSLIMS. Every Monday in June. Right here.

Cecil & Carlos. Photo credit: @emmastory

I scrolled through some of the meanest messages I’ve gotten from trolls. Then I called one of their employers.