the weasleys pretending their fucking ghoul in pyjamas is ron and getting away with it is the most ridiculous and amazing part of deathly hallows 

is this hamilton

It’s the only day to post this so I gotta 

Adios 2017, you sick FUCK.

When my mom’s out in public, she sends me pictures of lesbians she sees.

Jesus I envy that relationship. 

this is like the time when my mum took me bra shopping and the girl measuring me up was a lesbian and my mum said to me “i’ll go take a walk around the shop so you can talk to this nice young girl” and gave me a look as if to say “chat her up”. 

My mum tries to push me towards cute possibly gay girls and then disappears. She did it in Primark once and I found her hiding behind a pile of knickers, watching me.

i love all of your moms

When I was 17 I was convinced I was in love with the check out girl at the grocery store 5 minutes away from our house, so my dad went to get milk and somehow found an appropriate point in the conversation while buying a half gallon of milk to give her my number. Three days later she called me and asked if I wanted to come over “to watch a movie” and long story short my dad got me laid thanks dad.

That last story is worth reblogging

all stories in here are worth reblogging. these are all amazing

*applause for good parents*

when my wife proposed, I called my dad and he congratulated us and then asked me to give her the phone.  He said something, she laughed hysterically and hung up.  He said “Now, I don’t know how all this works and all, but don’t go getting each other pregnant too soon.” smh I LOVE MY DAD <3

‘creative captions for old-timey books’ by SnideOctopus

@puncromancer

Me trying to express how I feel: idk I just feel like…idk…idk…idk man. Nvm I’m good.

just in case you were tired of the typical picture of white lesbians kissing on your dash, here’s a quality pic of my girl and I for some representation ✨

I hope the next thing I get addicted to is taking care of my self and loving my body

what I imagine heterosexual marriage to be like

brad: hey hon, whats for dinner

susan: vegetable soup

brad: 

susan: what

brad: its just that I had a really long day at work and I was hoping for a little more than….vegetable soup

susan: im fucking your brother

Who needs Meghan Trainor’s “NO” when there’s this masterpiece?

I THINK YOU COULD USE A MINT

this is literally honestly a fucking bop

tfw u say smthn gay by mistake around The Hets and the kill bill alarm goes off in your head and you look like taxidermy fox until they brush off the suspicion and go back to talking about straight people things

that is… that is such a specific description… but it is somehow so ACCURATE?

love me a girl with glasses. bring that blind ass here ma. no…over here smh

my dad owns a small business and today he found out that one of his male employees was sexually harassing a female coworker and sending her dick pics and shit and so my dad fired him and then immediately left work to drive to this guy’s other job and told his boss there and got him fired from two jobs in the span of like an hour lmao 

Good dad.  Good boss.

who else can’t wait until they have a cute gf???

all of those who reblogged will be blessed w a cute gf

gay culture is struggling to find things to have small talk about with straight people but instantly having 1000 weirdly obscure common interests with gay people that don’t even revolve around being gay just gay ppl like the same weird shit and i love that about us

I love us