if someone told me my blood smelled and tasted good i would be over the moon. this is on account of my nature

*about to pass out from blood loss* haha you think i’m good? tell me i’m good. i’m g

"...hhhzzzzmmm...mmmMMMZZZZZZzzz....zzzzzZZZMMMNNNnnnn....zzzzZZZZZzz....zzZZZMMMMNNNnnnn...."

"...more..."

not you.

I queued this like 8 months ago I’ve waited a long time for this moment

I wish I had a car bomb. I wish I was like 9 so I had balls. Läl. Her boyfriends tall and he plays Madden ‘06 so how am I gonna cum. So when I asked her out she said I was put in the hospital for type 5 diabetes. I wish I was a little.

Why don't they make stained glass fish tanks? Give those fish Catholic guilt

fascinated by the implication that it's the stained glass that gives catholics the guilt

The phrase “private beach” is so evil to me. those are for everyone. for the sea turtles and gay people to have sex on

nothings happening

ohh

My boyfriend was showing me his cat and I leaned over to kiss the cat on his soft little baby head and he went "meow" and scrambled away because I'd been wearing my headphones and I accidentally jabbed him with the microphone.

And I said "Damn, this is exactly like in the Iliad"

#explanation: this references the scene where Hektor the prince of troy goes to his wife after a battle and leans in to kiss his son #(who is still a baby and being held in andromache's arms) #but his son cringes away in fear of his father's battle helmet #it's a gut wrenching scene about how war dehumanizes you and separates you from the people you love #this interpretation implies that being a gamer is analogous

the lesbian tide, 1971. Homophobic dog spans the ages

reblog if you can see the HUD

having a mutual with a super specific thing or joke you associate them with is so funny bc it’ll be like oh look it’s the eraserhead baby i should send this to my eraserhead baby mutual but in the end it’s not necessary bc who would be putting the eraserhead baby on your dash if not your eraserhead baby mutual

wow

me: sitting here drawing a bunch

my left hand: ow. ow. ow. i hurt.

me: you're. not even the hand i'm drawing with. you're just chilling. what is your fucking problem.

this should be the most reblogged post on tumblr before it dies

We need to reblog this so much that the post breaks

Do not like

Keep. Reblogging.

If we reblog enough we could save it

Reblogged at 1.7 M notes

reblogged at 1.8M notes

how did this lose over 5k notes

I’m glad we cost Yahoo 2 billion dollars.

it’s like a perfectly preserved body at Pompei