niicolodean:

• call you names
• tell you weird and personal details about myself
• say “I NEED TO PEE” instead of just brb
• type in caps a lot.

If i’m extra comfortable with you I’ll do all that and:

• share funny photos from my tumblr dash
• actually tell you when i’m upset 
• try to make conversation with you 
• just generally act really silly when I’m in a good mood
• tell you jokes even if they’re bad 

• Intense emotions and mood swings
• Inappropriate and/or unreasonable anger and irritability
• Impulsive and risky behavior, can include: spending excessive amounts of money, taking too many drugs, drinking too much, promiscuity, and self-harm
• Predisposition to addiction
• Difficult and intense relationships, often full of arguments, conflict, and breakups
• Higher probability of being abused and/or raped
• Sudden intense episodes of anxiety, depression, and mania-like behavior
• Feelings of self-hatred, often resulting in suicidal thoughts and behavior
• Hallucinations, including auditory, sensory, olfactory, and visual
• Delusions, particularly an obsessive fear and belief that people are going to abandon me
• Extreme need for attention in order to feel that I am worthy of living
• Unstable self-image and lack of consistent personality/identity, often resulting in mimicking the behavior and personalities of fictional characters and real-life loved ones
• Excessive self-criticism
• Feelings of emptiness
• Awareness of/guilt because of destructive behaviors, but feeling unable to stop
• Dissociative states under stress, in which I feel a disconnection from my body and from reality
• Unstable goals/aspirations
• Tendency to interpret the emotions of others as overwhelmingly negative
• Paranoia that people hate me or are annoyed by everything I do
• Idolizing people I’ve just met
• Fear that I am faking my symptoms, no matter how severe they are
• Fear that I am being manipulative or abusive
• Possessiveness of loved ones
• Constant need for reassurance

• Offer frequent unprompted reassurance that you love me, are not annoyed by me, and are not going to leave me/stop supporting me. If I have to ask for this reassurance, I will feel that I have manipulated you into giving it and will be unable to believe what you say.
• Respect that I need to be given space sometimes, and comforted at other times. I need space if I seem to be pushing you away or shutting down. Tell me that you will be available if I need you so that I won’t feel abandoned, then leave the situation. I need comfort if I am clinging to you or refuse to leave you alone.
• Never tell me that I’m overreacting. It is not my fault that I experience extreme emotions.
• Do not threaten punishment for impulsive behavior. This includes saying that you will take me to the hospital if I continue. Offer to talk me through it instead.
• If you don’t have BPD, don’t tell me that you know how I’m feeling. You don’t. Empathy is much appreciated, but if you say you can sympathize with me, I will begin to feel distrustful of what you say.
• Never say or imply that I don’t actually have BPD. I get enough of that shit from myself.
• Hear. Me. Out. No matter what I have to say. You don’t have to agree, just listen.
• Tell me why I’m not a bad person. Have examples to back it up because I will likely accuse you of empty compliments.
• If I become unreasonably angry at you, be aware that I will feel incredibly guilty and remorseful later. When that happens, accept my apology and move on if you are able to.
• Never tell me to “just stop” doing something destructive. I guarantee that if I could stop, I would have already. Instead, gently ask me things like “Why do you think you’re doing this?” + “Do you think it is helpful for you?” + “How is it helpful? How is it not helpful?” If I am in a panic state/dissociative state and answer with “I don’t know!”/refuse or am unable to provide an answer, please determine if I need to be given space or comforted, and act accordingly.
• When I dissociate, I often appear zoned-out, distracted, or dead-eyed. I may be unable to see you, hear you, or speak to you. A gentle touch on the shoulder may or may not snap me out of it. Stay with me and make sure I don’t do anything dangerous until I come back to reality.
• Do not judge me for my actions, and especially do not imply that I am being a bad person. Do not try to make me feel guilty for anything, no matter what. Instead, gently ask questions about my behavior, and try to understand the underlying cause.
• Use lots of words with positive connotations when speaking to me.